Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery

Category Archives: Dreams


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Loving it by the lake

2014-06-28 19.56.50I’m just coming to the end of 3 weeks in Carnforth just outside the Lake District.

I came up to try and finish the workbook that accompanies Love is Not a Reward – and it worked. Not only did I finish it (thanks to an extra FREE week at the Pine Lake Resort – a long story) but I’ve also started to write the play for stage that I agreed to do a year ago.

Most of the time was about the writing, but I took some time out to do a little exploring.

I loved the walks along the side of the Lancaster Canal. On the day I finished I walked the ten miles from Pine Lake to Tewitfield and back along the canal on an air of elation.

I managed to get into Morcombe a couple of times and strolled along the promenade eating ice cream, as well as frequent trips into the lovely town of Carnforth.

Sculpture of mother and child in Morcombe

Sculpture of mother and child in Morcombe

I’ve been guided by spirit on numerous occasions during the writing of Love is Not a Reward, from being told to keep the title when I was about to change it, to being guided to the colours to use on the cover – and many more pointers on the content.

Most of the guidance came through journeying and dreams, but some came through messages from mediums and fellow sitters in psychic development circles.

Boats on the Lancaster Canal

Boats on the Lancaster Canal

I set of at the beginning of this blog curious as to whether my spiritual development would influence my writing – silly to think it wouldn’t!

I feel a book about the whole experience coming on – but not until I’ve finished the play – which I guess will only add more chapters.

Both the text and workbook of Love is Not a Reward are in production at the moment and should be available by the end of August.


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Am I still here?

Wednesday 8th January 2014

Last time I was at a family gathering

Last time I was at a family gathering

Last night I dreamed that I died on 20th August last year. I didn’t realise that I’d died because so many people could still see me. It was only when one person clearly couldn’t see me that it made me question my physicality.

I was at my brother’s house for a celebration dinner. I asked one of his sons if he could see me. He said, ‘Yes, don’t you remember that I called you the other day to help me with something at school and you came and helped?’ I couldn’t remember.

There was an empty chair between my two brothers. I indicated that I intended to sit there. One brother looked a little uncomfortable but the other seemed fine with it.

On waking I was very perturbed by this dream because it felt so real. I began wondering if I was indeed deceased. Maybe that’s why some people that I’ve been trying to meet up with haven’t responded.

I lay there asking myself ‘Am I really deceased? Is there really no need for me to go to the gym?’ I arrived at the gym at 7.20 a.m. desperate to re-confirm my physicality. I was reasonably reassured by the time I left, but I’ve had an odd feeling all day. It did feel very real.

Any ideas on what this could mean? Do you know anyone who died on 20th August last year? If not did anything significant happen on 20th August?


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More dreams about weddings

June 3rd 2013

MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERAI’m not sure what’s going on but last night I dreamed that I was marrying a woman. I was wearing a long white fitted gown, the one I got married in last time. I had a massive bouquet which was handed to me at the last minute. It looked as though it had just been delivered by the florist and someone had taken off the cellophane wrapper. A gladioli flower gave it its length.

My bride was white, tall and quite plump. She was dressed in a short purple dress and wore a purple headdress. The wedding was taking place on a long street and we were at opposite ends. The minister was at her end. As s/he began to go through the vows we were still a long way from each other. We ran toward each other and swung each other around when we met. It felt like I was meeting her for the first time.

The people around us (about 30) cheered. One of my brothers shouted good luck wishes from the other side of a railing. He was the only member of my family there.

That’s where the dream ended, with the two of us swinging each other around.

Some sites suggest that marriage is about unifying different sides of yourself. This appears on the website http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_does_it_mean_to_dream_about_getting_married

‘Marriage signifies commitment, harmony or transitions. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life. The dream may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. In particular, it is the union of masculine or feminine aspects of yourself. Consider the qualities and characteristics of the person that you are marrying. These are the qualities that you need to look at in incorporating within yourself.’

First I dreamed I was getting married to God, integration of spiritual self, then to a friend. Could that mean that I’ve finally made friends with myself? Now I’m getting married to a woman. This may be another message about bringing more feminine energy into my life, truly accepting my femininity.

Could it also be about integrating the black and white side of me? Genetically I’m obviously mixed, but had never really thought much about my white genes until I did the work on slavery while writing Love is Not a Reward. Maybe I’m finally accepting all aspects of me.

I’ve just come through an intense period of house clearing – lots of clutter cleared and identity redefined. I’m going to write that up as a separate blog, but I feel that maybe that had something to do with this dream.

As always, I’d welcome any additional views on any part of the dream. Always eager to learn.


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Marriage, babies and a new ministry

May 29th  2013

I dreamed that I got married to a friend of mine, joined a church and started a ministry.

Last year's Jamaican independence celebrations

Last year’s Jamaican independence celebrations

It was odd because my friend Oliver and I are not romantically attracted to each other in real life. It was also a little strange that the decision to get married was very matter of fact – like we both agreed that it was the right thing to do. There was no mad wild passion sweeping us away or anything.

I woke from the dream to go to the toilet, but was so fascinated by what had happened that I went back to sleep and went back into the dream.

In the second part of the dream I had a baby girl and Oliver and I moved into a massive country house. The test cricket was being played at the house and it was teaming with thousands of people and hundreds of celebrities. Some people were talking about catching glimpses of famous cricketers and chatting to them.

There were two other couples moving into the house that day. Both had baby girls about eight months old. I was discussing with them the merits or otherwise of another couple moving in, but was insistent that I didn’t just want to talk baby talk, I wanted more intellectual discussions.

This dream occurred in the early hours of the morning, about 7 a.m. Three hours later I had to go to the High Street unexpectedly to send a fax. As I came out of the shop I literally bumped into Oliver. I hadn’t seen him in months; he does not live in my neighbourhood and does not generally visit my neighbourhood.

‘I thought about you two days ago,’ he said as he gave me a hug.

‘I dreamed about you last night,’ I replied.

‘Pray tell, was it a good dream? What was I doing?’ He asked eagerly.

‘You were at a big house,’ I said hesitantly, ‘at some kind of event.’

‘Oh, I’m going to a big house party at the weekend in Somerset. Maybe it’s to do with that.’

‘Maybe,’ I said, happy to latch on to anything that meant I didn’t have to tell him the whole story. How do you tell a friend that three hours ago he was your husband and father of your child? So I kept quiet and chatted about general things and his reason for being in my vicinity (to meet a family member). We agreed to meet the following day for him to tell me about his month long trip to India.

I rushed home and called my friend and did the ‘you’ll never guess what!’ line.

‘Shall I tell him the whole dream?’ I wanted to know.

‘Not much point telling him only a part. It’s obviously significant that he showed up so quickly after the dream. Spirit wouldn’t have arranged that so quickly if he didn’t need to know.’

Iron Man - Birmingham City Centre

Iron Man – Birmingham City Centre

We had a quick chat about the possible meaning of the dream. The marriage could mean a new beginning, as could the babies. So many girls meant there was a need for more feminine energy – maybe bringing more feminine energy into my life and into my work. (Interestingly I’ve been remodelling my home and trying to make my bedroom a little more feminine).

The ministry? Could be a project that Oliver and I need to begin together, but why the church? I’m not particularly interested in ministry in a church setting, and neither is he. And the jury is still out on the big house.

After listening to Oliver’s exciting tales about his travels across India and his fortnight at an ashram, I told him about the dream – all of it. Fortunately, because of his spiritual beliefs he could understand that the marriage could be symbolic of other things, and we discussed the possibility of using his yoga experience in some kind of joint project.

Two things stood out for me in this dream.

  1. I was able to get back into it. I haven’t consciously done that before.
  2. This is the second time I’ve dreamed about getting married. First to God, and now to Oliver.

Some of the dream interpretations suggest marriage is about integrating the self. Does this mean I’m getting more integrated?

It’s a long and complex one, but if anyone wants to comment on any section of  it I’d welcome your take (or if you have the time and patience please comment on all of it.) Many thanks in advance.


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Graveyards and pigeons

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1386Still on a high from the conference I went to sleep, only to be woken with the words ‘West Brompton.’ I heard it twice before getting up and writing it down. I’ve learned that once the voice speaks it carries on till I act. Some of my best poems were dictated this way, one verse at a time. Only when it was all written could I sleep.

During the dream Gary Ranard (author of The Disappearance of the Universe) came into my room and told me that I needed to do more exercises and meditation to keep my heart open. He didn’t say what, so if you know of any good exercises of meditation I’d love to hear from you.

As I did my morning meditation it was as though the pigeons from outside were trying to get into my window, they made such a racket – I’ve never known them like it.

Anyway, I checked out West Bromption. The only thing of note there is the famous Bromton Cemetery where a number of very well known people are buried, including two Native Americans from the Oglala Sioux group. Names – ‘Surrounded by the Enemy’ and ‘Red Penny.’

It’s also rumoured that the children’s author Beatrix Potter got a lot of the names of her animal characters from the gravestones in the cemetery.

I’m trying to makes some links here. Is this about shamanism? Am I to trawl the gravestones for names for my characters? Or is this about ancestry work? I wish they’d be a bit more explicit with the messages.

Apparently pigeons are to do with getting news in an unusual way. Unless of course you know different. Any thoughts on any of the above will be welcomed, (as always).


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Snake bite dream

Saturday 20th April 2013

I bought a snake. This in itself wasn’t unusual because I’d owned snakes before. I was allowing it to wrap itself around my right arm being careful to keep its mouth away from me. I thought I had it under control when it suddenly turned and plunged its fangs into my arm.

Interestingly, it didn’t hurt, and I watched it trying to think of what to do, how to get its fangs out of my arm. This had never happened to me before. I watched it for a while before I began to panic because I didn’t know what to do. Whatever I did, shaking my arm, pulling at it, it fangs remained firmly wedged in my arm. Then suddenly, as though it was bored, it let go.

Animal Spirit Guides Stephen D Farmer, PH.D.

Animal Spirit Guides
Stephen D Farmer, PH.D.

I know snakes are about healing, but this didn’t feel like a healing situation. I looked up snakes in Stephen Farmer’s Animal Spirit Guides. He has a lot to say about snakes.

  • You’re about to go through some significant personal changes so intense and dramatic that an old self will metaphorically die as a new self emerges.
  • You’re going to feel a surge of energy that will sharpen your senses, alert your mental faculties, and open up new channels of awareness.
  • You’re about to resolve a long-standing issue, one that requires a great deal of your attention, by seeing things in a new light.
  • It would be a good time for you to start doing either tantric or kundalini yoga.
  • You’ll experience a physical or emotional healing soon, coming from an unexpected source.
  • If the snake is a Boa-constrictor, extricate yourself from a situation that’s suffocating your growth.

I had this dream the night before setting off for my week in Wales. Was I about to encounter some dramatic change while away and open up new channels of awareness? But why did the snake plunge its fangs into me, and why couldn’t I do anything to get them out?

I thought perhaps it was to do with resolving a long-standing issue. It was a situation I’d brought upon myself (I’d bought the snake) but one where the solution was not in my hands. The message being that I wouldn’t have to do anything, to allow the solution to be found.

There was one situation that immediately sprung to mind. All the way down on the three hour journey I thought of how a text or phone call could set healing in motion. I couldn’t decide if the person would accept the olive branch, but I could at least offer it. Which is exactly what I did within half an hour of arriving, and he resolved the situation.

If you can think of anything else I’ve missed in this scenario I’d be most interested to hear your views. I am still fascinated by the images and scenarios of dreams and meditations.


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Where did all these lizards come from?

Saturday 13th April 2013

Not quite a lizard but from the same family

Not quite a lizard but from the same family

Dream 1. I’m walking through an underground market precinct with a lady I’ve met, where most of the booths are boarded up, but some look as though new businesses are starting up. One or two look very professional, more like shops than market booths. I told her I hoped they’d do well.

Dream 2. In another dream I was on a training course. Everyone got paired off to work together. I didn’t have a partner, but I didn’t seem bothered.

Dream 3. In dream number 3 I was playing tennis with a past house mate and a woman from the training course.

Dream 4. The longest dream (which is the one I woke up from – I had a busy night) was one in which me and my friend Marcia were in an old hotel in Birmingham. My friend’s from Manchester. It was once a glorious hotel but was now looking old and tired. I went out for something, a meeting I think, and left Marcia at the hotel.

Whenever I went to call her on my phone the number went straight to an advert for the hotel.

I met a woman who was staying at the same hotel and walked around with her. She told me she was renovating the rooms she was staying in. We walked back to the hotel together. My room was at the top of a long set of stairs.

As we walked up the stairs they were festooned with lizards of all different sizes. We had to tread carefully so as not to stand on them. There were sometimes three of four on a step. I wasn’t afraid of them, but I did feel uncomfortable.

The lady said she was looking for a handy man who had his own tools. I ask if she didn’t know that Tim (from my Monday circle) was a handyman. She said she knew him but didn’t know he was a builder.

When I got back to my room Marcia was in bed. She’d propped the door open so I’d be able to get back in.

‘I tried calling you,’ she said, ‘but it always went back to what on that,’ she looked up at the clock on the wall.

‘Same here,’ I said, ‘but mine was adverts.’

Later she read something from a newspaper about lack of funding for research projects and was concerned that her son might be affected.

Somehow we ended up in the partly renovated room of the woman I’d climbed the stairs with.

I looked up lizards and found loads of definitions. It appears they’re very popular and significant in many cultures. I think the definitions below resonates with me most. Feels like what’s going on in my life at the moment.

 

Lizard helps us stay connected to our intuition, and build a confidence into trusting our own instincts.  Subtle movements and changes around us become easier to detect as our awareness develops, perceiving what others may have missed.  They are connected to the Dreamtime in aboriginal and some native cultures which integrate that knowing into our Dream states. A confidence in your perceptions comes easier and stronger when working with the wisdom of the Lizard.


Some lizards have the ability to lose their tail and grow one back. This can be symbolic for another important lizard lesson…the ability to “let go of” or detach from something that is no longer needed in order to move on, survive, and grow. (For example, letting go of old emotional baggage that may be preventing us from moving forward and trying something new)

 Lizard helps us with objectivity and putting things in perspective

 

For the full article go to Conscious Arts Studio where there are some lovely pictures of lizards.


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White horse dream

11th April 2013

I arrive late for a Tai Chi class. A white horse runs to meet me. It’s quite a small horse only reaches my waist. I stroke it; I remember it from the last time I was here when I was riding it. I’m pleased it remembers me. All the class are doing a Tai Chi moving meditation as I stroke the mini horse.

I did a little research, seems horses have quite a number of meanings. Often, horse dreams are interpreted as signs of courage, success and wealth. On the other hand, certain equine reveries may be regarded as portending challenges, dangers and struggles as well.

A white horse in a dream may signal pleasure, prosperity and positive outcomes.

I guess the fact that my horse was smaller than usual means that I just get half of the above, half the wealth but only half the dangers and struggles.

I looked up the Shamanic meaning of horses at horsejourneys.com, given that I did a Shamanic meditation just before going to bed. This is what it said:

Horses are our willing mentors, but we have to be willing to give something up to enter their world. We have to give up our attitudes of dominance and control that interferes with our ability to really listen, trust and learn. One of the first teachings that can come from working with horses is learning how to befriend your emotional nature and opening to new ways of consciousness.

The message could definitely be about opening to new way of consciousness. It was a really nice dream though.


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Getting married to God

I few nights ago I dreamed that I was getting married to God. Most people’s response have been ‘you’re not thinking of becoming a nun are you?’

I found an interesting interpretation of dreams about God on the experience festival website.

To see God in your dream, signifies your spirituality and expression of your feelings about divinity. God also symbolizes an untouchable, unreachable, and unattainable notion of perfection. Thus such a dream may highlight your struggles and attempts with trying to be perfect. To dream that you are worshipping God, signifies repentance of your actions and errors. To dream that God speaks to you, signifies feelings of guilt, eternal punishment, and damnation. To dream that you are a god, implies your own special talents which you have not yet recognized or have not fully developed. Alternatively, it suggests your feelings of superiority over others.

The italicised sentences above best describe what’s going on for me. Am I looking to find such a person as a partner or am I trying to become that perfect person? Sometimes I’d just like to give my head a rest.

Do you have any other ideas as to why I’d be marrying God?


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What does poo in dreams mean?

Friday 29th March 2013

Daffodils huddled together for warmth in this frozen month of March

Daffodils huddled together for warmth in this frozen month of March

I found out my grandmother’s name. It’s Christianna Benjamin nee Morgan. During my meditation I set the intention to connect with her and to be given a sign that I was connected. I had a tickling around my third eye and on the left side of my neck.

I saw a thimble, and later thread and a needle. Was she a good seamstress? Did I hear that somewhere? Then I had the thought of stitching together a patchwork quilt.

I dropped in and out of nothingness, but in between I thought about my dream from the night before in which I was trying to hide from a previous boss. I’d been trying to dodge him for ages hiding in all kinds of places before suddenly deciding that I’d done nothing wrong and, despite all the people who’d been trying to hide and protect me, I came out openly and challenged him. He didn’t pursue the issues and I realised that I needn’t have hidden for so long.

In the same dream I needed the toilet and had to go a long way to find it, (even though I was convinced that there was one closer). A woman snuck in before me, but fortunately there was more than one cubicle. The wall was flat, and the toilet bowl emerged from it and looked a little flimsy as it had no solid base attaching it to the floor. It had un-flushed poo in. I needed to do a poo but was conscious of people in the next cubicle so held on to it, just did a wee while pondering the oddness of the toilet.

Somebody once told me that poo in dreams is related to money. Does this dream mean that I found some (in the bowl) but was too embarrassed to add mine to it? Do you know anything about poo in dreams?

And what about the thimble and the patchwork quilt? I was wondering if it could mean that I’m to pull together all the different things that I’m learning into one. Maybe create something new and different from all the bits. Any thoughts?

And finally, I got the thought that it would be a good idea to write about my Family Constellation experiences.

When I was researching Shamanism I found people’s personal experiences really helpful. Constellations are about soul integration, about making whole the fragmented soul that has suffered trauma. This is also the aim of Shamanism.

It may require a bit of delving into journals but each experience was so profound that they are clearly documented.