Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery


Session 15 – Card readings

February 25th 2013 (Monday)

Tim’s still on holiday, and a few others were missing, so there were only six of us including Mary. After the opening prayer we went straight into a meditation in which Mary suggested we ask our guides for a philosophy, some words of wisdom. This could be either for an individual or for the whole group. I’d had a busy weekend and was very tired. I had to fight to stay awake (even though it was only mid afternoon). The only things I got was ‘always trust your heart, it knows the way,’ and after a few more minutes I had a vision of me being pulled up the stairs of a spiral staircase in a big old building. I couldn’t see who was doing the pulling.

During the feedback it became clear that most of us had been given philosophies relating to the heart.

Mary asked if we knew why we ‘opened up’ with prayer. Generally speaking it’s a signal to spirit that we’re reporting for work, and it’s important to signal that we are willing to work only in the light. We talked about whether negative ‘entities’ (bad spirit) could attach themselves to us or take us over. There were two schools of thought. One was yes, and we have to make sure we protected ourselves at all times but particularly when we ‘opened up’. The second was no, if we stay in the light no ‘entities’ can invade us because such entities are a manifestation of our own fears. I’m going with the second.

We then had a lengthy discussion following on from last week about the difference between working psychically and working spiritually. Mary wanted to make sure we were all clear about the different states and their meanings. Essentially when working spiritually you will get messages that you couldn’t possibly have worked out for yourself. Usually evidence is given from spirit world of life after death. Psychically is essentially working with the auric field, our own knowledge and our intuition.

We then did readings for each other using tiny angel cards with one word on them. Most of them also have a small picture. I picked beauty and my partner picked play. Alongside the word was a little scene of children playing by the beach, one of them with fairy wings.

I was able to give a reading that made a lot of sense to the person. Everything except the very last thing made sense, and we agreed the thing that didn’t would in time. What surprised me was how confident I felt with what I was saying. Checking that it made sense but not doubting what I was saying, even though there were times when I wondered where the words came from.

When she did my reading she told me of a blue bird with outstretched wings signifying freedom and communication. As there was also a tinge of green on the bird she felt this meant that my communication (words) would bring healing to others. I could do with more romance. (Who couldn’t?)

Mary then asked us to think about whether we felt we’d given/received a psychic or spiritual reading. I felt I’d given a psychic reading but had received a spiritual one. My partner, who connects very easily with her guides, agreed.

Any ideas what being pulled up the stairs could mean?

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Session 14 – Science Fiction

February 21st 2013 (Thursday)

On arrival we all had to put an item on a covered tray in preparation for the psychomery exercise later.

There were eleven of us including Greg, the facilitator. A new man and a new black woman came. I only point the black lady because we are so rare in these circles, and because she’s significant later.

DSC_1015We began with a short opening meditation to ask our guides to gather close and help with the messages and healing. I was verging on exhaustion after a very hectic day, and had even contemplated not coming. But as it was me that requested we had a go at psychometry I felt obliged to put in an appearance. I was so tired I remember little of this meditation, other than the fact I nearly fell asleep. I was therefore very grateful that the next exercise was a practical one, the psychometry.

We all took something from under the cloth that wasn’t ours. I picked a set of two house keys. I didn’t look at them but held them in my hands as instructed and closed my eyes to try and get something visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, cognitive, olfactory or gustatory.

First thing I got was a tingling on the left side of my forehead near the hair line, and a thought that the person had an issue with hair loss. Then I felt a sensation in my right eye and an accompanying thought, ‘Try and see things from the other person’s point of view. You don’t always have to be right.’

The next place I felt a sensation was in my stomach. There was no accompanying thought, but there was when I felt the intense healing energy in my hands. The owner of these keys was either a healer or should be a healer.

When I opened my eyes and looked at the keys I saw that one had a purple tag and the other an orange one. I had the thought that whoever owned the keys was having an internal tussle between spirit and expressing themselves in the physical world in some way, maybe sexually.

When we came to feedback time everyone got something. The first person to go was the new black lady, who incidentally had the same name as one of my sisters. It’s quite an unusual one. She got the names Wendy and Laura, saw a cat, a fireplace and got the word grandmother. We weren’t disclosing what our object was at this stage, just testing to see what people got, but I knew instinctively that she had my ring. Just the mention of grandmother. The cat was probably to do with working with animals. Although I couldn’t make sense of the other things, I was convinced.

When it got to me I described what I’d got and looked around to see if anyone was inadvertently giving away that it was theirs. But no. The dim light and the deadpan faces gave nothing away.

When we came to revelation time I had to wait till the end to confirm my initial conviction (because Greg went the other way round so the first became the last). There was a high degree of accuracy among the group who had been working with a range of small items ranging from a guitar plectrum, to watches, photos, jewellery and of course keys.

The person who claimed the keys turned out to be a Reiki master who wanted to lose weight from around his stomach and said maybe the left side of the forehead was about listening to his spirit guide. He said the right eye might be symbolic also, and finally that the tussle may be between him and his wife, as she doesn’t believe in any of the psychic/spiritual stuff, or the healing.

I was the last, but it was worth the wait because the new lady with my sister’s name did, indeed, have my ring. By then I’d worked out that the fireplace could mean the fact that I write with my back against a radiator, a constant source of heat in the winter. (Not sure how good it is for my back, but it helps to keep the blood and words flowing.) I still couldn’t make sense of the names but I’m pretty certain that will become clear at some point. I got a sense that my grandmother is really trying to make herself known to me.

There was a buzz of achievement in the room as we went into the final exercise of the evening, more connections with our guides who would take us on a journey to meet other guides in the spirit world, the others who are also helping us.

‘You’re in a meadow,’ Greg said, and I was instantly there. A lush meadow with primroses, buttercups, worms, butterflies and some purple flowers I don’t know the name of.

‘There is a door in the meadow,’ Greg continued, and I saw gradually a green door so translucent it almost blended in with the green of the meadow. The way I could detect it easily was by it bright gold handle. In front of the door popped an image of a science lab, and on the black board to the right were rows of writing.

Rainbow on Miami Beach, Barbados

Rainbow on Miami Beach, Barbados

‘Open the door,’ Greg instructed us. As I turned the gold handle, which was smooth and solid, it opened onto Miami Beach, my favourite beach in Barbados. I was at the Enterprise Road end, and sat down on a rock.

‘Someone is walking towards you,’ said Greg and I saw about a hundred yards off a woman dressed in a bright dress with large red flowers, like hibiscus. When she came closer I noticed that her skin was the colour of copper and she had about six big long plaits, what my mother used to call ‘yam plaits’.

I don’t remember the rest of Greg’s instructions because once I’d begun to engage with this woman she took over and I followed her instructions. I asked if she was taking

me up to meet the other guides.

‘No,’ she said, ‘we’re going in the sea.’

‘But I’m not a strong swimmer,’ I protested, ‘and especially on this side of the sea. I’s so rough.

‘Come with me, you’ll be alright,’ she was very directive, and I followed.

Once in the water I opened my arms and allowed myself to be carried by the waves, not caring how far out I went because she was with me. She told me that in the water I could be free, and we floated around doing gambols and laughing and having a grand old time.

Then she said, ‘We need to go down now?’

I instantly became fearful again. It was one thing floating on the top – but to dive down was more than I was ready for.

‘I’ll show you how,’ she said raising her arms above her head and clasping her hands at the top like an arrow. I followed suit. She told me to take a big breath and hold it. I did. She twisted her body in the middle, bent in half and took her hands into the water to guide her down. I watched and followed. We were diving down, down, down; past lost of fish and other creatures which were blurred because we were going so fast.

‘You can let your breath out now,’ she said, ‘after a while you’ll see that you can breath down here, you don’t need to hold your breath.’

I breathed out, and she was right.

‘What are we going for?’ I asked.

‘You’ll see when we get there.’

But as we continued to travel down to the sea bed I heard Greg calling us back into the room. It’s the first time since I’ve been doing these sessions that I’ve wanted to stay in a meditation. I wanted to see what we were going to find.

Again the feedback was incredibly varied, with people having travelled to magical lands, Victorian streets, Native American lands, houses down the road, or, as in the other black lady’s case to a tropical forest, where she got into a crystal clear pool and felt very free.

I gathered from the feedback that the parts of the meditation I didn’t hear were to do with the person you met taking you to meet others. Maybe that’s what mine was doing; maybe they were all on the sea-bed.

When I did the initial part of my feedback Greg suggested that the sea represented freedom from any constraints I’d put on myself, and another member suggested that I should open up more and not be so scared all the time. I wasn’t aware that’s how I was coming across. We were just about to move on to the next person when I remembered the lab and the blackboard. I mentioned that the writing on the board was inconsistent with scientific writing which is largely numbers and symbols. This writing was uniformed, more like in a novel. In answer to someone’s  question I said I have a background in science but that I now write fiction. And I got it at the same time as most of the others in the group. The image was telling me to write science fiction. But what would I write as science fiction?

We closed and I was on a proper high. I’m convinced now that the messages are not random. My grandmother wants to make herself available to me, and she/they are guiding me to what to write. First the ‘writing for children’ then the ‘butterflies’ now this.

When we finished I had a brief chat to the other black lady and asked if she’d noticed that we both achieved freedom in the water. I wonder if she will come again.

When I spoke to my friend about the meditation she said there could be a slavery link, that many would-be slaves jumped overboard rather than become slaves.

Am I to write slavery as science fiction? That would be interesting.

Do you have another take on it? And what about that lady having the same name as my sister? (see post Zoe and Me at Home).

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Zoe and me at home

Zoe, the trance specialist from the Monday circle, came to see me for a spot of public speaking coaching. This was in response to the many messages she’s received about doing platform work.

Crotons. Just wanted to brighten up this post on a cold and grey day.

Crotons. Just wanted to brighten up this post on a cold and grey day.

On entering my lounge she said it reminded her of one in the home of a specialist surgeon she’d been to visit some years ago, and suggested that maybe I was going to become a specialist in something.

In the course of the hour, in which we looked at physical and vocal presentation, we also exchanged some details about our respective journeys that lead to our meeting a few weeks ago. About half an hour into the session she looked at me and said, ‘I’ve just seen a picture of a globe. You’re holding it in your hands.’

‘Oh my God!’ I said taken aback, ‘that’s the third time.’

‘What’s the third time?’ she enquired.

‘That I’ve been told about a globe.’


‘Yes. Once in November in a reading, and on Monday in the reading with Mike. Both times a woman was holding a globe.’

‘Well, well, well,’ she said, ‘and here it is again. Only it’s not just an ordinary globe. It’s one of those with a light inside. It’s like your lighting up the world.’

That’s when she told me she’d been told that she’d be travelling the world and jokingly said, ‘maybe we’ll be doing it together.’

I told her about my thoughts on trance mediumship, and she offered to help me with understanding symbolism. In return I offered to help her put a book together of her extraordinary journey so far, and told her that she reminded me of Betty Shine. She’d never heard of Betty Shine but pondered on the fact she has a sister called Betty. I said, (getting into the swing of things), that maybe her sister was telling her to shine her light from the platform.

It’s only as I write this, nearly twenty four hours later, that it’s suddenly occurred to me that I too have a sister called Betty, and maybe she too could be telling me to shine my light across the world. Yes, I’ve laughed out loud. Oh how we can’t often see our own messages. I’m more than ever understanding that the messages come in a whole variety of ways, which is why understanding symbolism is so important.

I have a feeling Zoe and I will be doing more work together. She’s even suggested that we attend a course at ArthurFindlayCollege. Now THAT would be a step in a very definite direction.

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Session 13 The difference between working psychically and working spiritually

February 18th 2013 (Monday)

I went into today’s session sky high as I’d just had a most amazing private reading from Mike, a visiting medium from Wales. I took the opportunity to have a full reading after attending one of his psychic suppers in December.

He was also invited to lead our circle, and after an initial meditation talked to us about the difference between working psychically and working spiritually.

Our meditation was meant to help us relax and he asked us to concentrate on something we found beautiful.I went to my favourit

Miami Beach (Also known as Enterprise Beach) Barbados

Miami Beach (Also known as Enterprise Beach) Barbados

e beach (Miami Beach) in Barbados and began walking the length of it, listening to and watching the waves. As I neared the end of the beach a huge sand coloured man came toward me. He was about twice my height, almost as broad and towered above me. As I looked up at him he scooped my up, swung me round and hoisted me onto his shoulder. I had a very different view of the beach from up there.

Then walking through a cane field in Jamaica with and older woman. She was fast, very determined and a large black dog ran at her heels. She carried something in her right hand, a machete or stick. We came through the fields to a large clearing and she just stood and looked around with both hands on her hips. I looked on with her. Then I remembered I was supposed to be relaxing and returned to the beach (minus sand-man). Not long after Mike brought us back.

I thought perhaps the woman was my grandmother, the one Mike had told me about earlier in the reading. He said she was a very strong woman and her strength was coming through me, but I couldn’t make sense of who the man on the beach was.

Mike then asked us to work in pairs psychically. Essentially we were to use only what we could make out about our partner using our senses, not using messages from spirit. He explained that everyone has psychic abilities but some have developed it and use it more than others. We all get a vibe from a person, place or thing. That ‘vibe’ is one or more of our senses tuning in to the energy of the person place or thing.

Most of us can tell if a person is sad or happy; if they’re trying to hide something, if they’re putting a brave face on something. This is psychic ability. Most of us in the circle, once we understood what was required, achieved some degree of accuracy with our partners, some were very accurate. The person and worked with was very accurate about me and me about her, others less so. One member of the group went beyond the psychic and gave many messages from spirit to Mike and to a lesser extent Mary.

I queried why she hadn’t worked psychically. Mike said sometimes spirit has urgency and will connect very quickly, especially if we are very attuned.

There then followed a long discussion about the rules and regulations of the National Spiritualist Union (NSU) and whether its acceptable to deliver messages psychically from the platform or whether it must always and only be spiritually.

It’s not my intention to become a platform medium and give readings in churches, so much of this probably won’t apply to me. I believe my connection with spirit is to do with my writing. Interesting, given the name of the blog, that I’ve written so little about my writing.

The reason is that I’ve been so involved with the psychic development that I haven’t been writing as much as I should. My characters are feeling very neglected. My two thousand words a day have been very intermittent.

One of the cards in my reading yesterday was ‘ask for what you want.’ I guess I’m going to have to ask spirit to re-connect me in a more meaningful way with writing the books.

Maybe I’ll give a running commentary on how well I’ve done with my writing from one session to the next. I need to be held accountable. Anyone prepared to do that for me?

Also, anyone fancy giving an opinion on the sand-man I’d be happy to hear it.

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Session 12 – Past life regression

February 14th 2013 (Thursday)

Despite it being Valentine’s Day there were ten of us, including Greg, at circle tonight. Were we all so keen, or were we the sad gits without Valentines to take us out and pamper us? Three men and seven women, and it weren’t just the older people either. The candle and crystal floor display from Monday was still in place, only the paper had been replaced by chakra coloured crystals.
PICT2168After our opening meditation, there was a request to do a past life regression meditation. I’ve had a couple of past life readings but never tried to do the regression myself. One of the readings was actually called a soul reading but it amounted to the same thing. I was told then that I’ve had several lives as teachers, either spiritual or academic. At least one as a fortune-telling gypsy living on the borders of France and Spain, (hence the possibility of me choosing a Spanish name this time round, and my first visit to Spain feeling like a home-coming), and one as a high priestess in Egypt. I also, allegedly, had a life as an academic Chinese male teacher.

As we went into the meditation and Greg took us back ten years, then twenty, then to childhood (for all the young ones who haven’t reached thirty yet), I wondered whether this prior knowledge would help or hinder my own attempts at regression.

I was able to do childhood well, but by the time I was back in the womb I wasn’t feeling the warmth and safety Greg was describing. I felt decidedly tense in the womb, not a pleasant place to be at all. As Greg encouraged us to go to the ending of our previous life I’d disconnected from the process, influenced unfortunately by thoughts of gypsies and Egypt.

Greg’s instructions at the beginning had been, ‘If at anytime you feel uncomfortable with the process open your eyes.’ And it was at this point that I did. Even though I closed them again and tried to continue, the moment had been lost.

About half the group were able to complete the meditation and reported seeing a previous self. They were also able to describe things that were happening around them at the time. Time zones included Victorian, Roman, prehistoric, and one person remembers being an ape.

When it was time for my feedback I asked if my past life readings could have influenced my meditation. Greg at first thought I meant previous attempts at past life regression, but when I explained that I meant readings he was a little surprised. He doesn’t think it’s possible to do a past life reading because only you can go back and find out who you were.

I was puzzled, because as I understand it, in the spirit world there is no past, present or future. Therefore when a medium connect to spirit to do a reading he or she has access to all that was, is, and will be. That’s why a good medium can be so accurate. What do you think? Can a well connected medium tell you about your previous lives?

Following a long discussion we concluded with a final exercise similar to the one we did on Monday where we had to think of a person in the room we wanted to receive a message for. Again I asked for a message for the person opposite me (it’s just easier to keep them in view and hold a straight line to their energy). I made a decision to trust whatever came and to say it as I got it and not try to water it down or alter it in any way.

After a few minutes I heard the song ‘white lines (don’t do it)’ by Grandmaster Melle Mel, and for a moment felt tears prick the backs of my eyes. Then a clear thought came that although the white lines had caused a great deal of sadness it was coming to an end.

The person who the message was for didn’t know the song and couldn’t make sense of the white lines. Greg thought it could refer to cocaine as that’s what the song is about, but it still didn’t make sense to the recipient. She did however say there was some sadness in her life that she hoped would be coming to an end soon.

I felt proud of myself, not necessarily for the content of the message, but because I’d had the courage to deliver it as I got it.

So, in case you’ve forgotten the question I asked earlier. Do you think it’s possible for someone else to give a past life reading or can it only be the person concerned who can be regressed? Please keep your comments coming I’m very grateful and I’m learning loads.

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Do spirits speak to us through electrical equipment?

Thursday 14th February 2013

During my morning meditation yesterday I heard a crackling noise coming from my laptop. When it got to the point when I couldn’t ignore it any longer I went to investigate. The noise was coming from where the speakers were plugged in. I unplugged the connection and went back to meditating. I later realised that nothing was connected to the electrical supply.

I ran this past my friend who said, ‘maybe they (spirit) want you to amplify what you’re saying. Amplify your message.’

This morning I did my colour cards and got

Mauve = enjoy clear hearing.

Amber = awaken your creativity

Cherry = live and extraordinary life

My animal cards were

Lynx = discernment – look beyond immediate appearances

Koala = empathy – speak less and listen more

Eagle = spirit – trust in your higher self

During meditation I asked for help with awakening my creativity, as I’ve been struggling with writing since Monday. I had a clear message that the way to tell the story I’ve been struggling with is through letters.

Do you think the electrical equipment is about speaking or listening? Or can it in some way be both?

Oh and I forgot to mention that the hummingbird fell out twice. It means joy and the message is ‘lighten up.’

Any thoughts?


Do mediums really need guides?

Tuesday 12th February 2013

Today I went for a colonic hydrotherapy treatment. The therapist turned out to be a trance medium who had practiced for over ten years. (How random – (or otherwise) is that). I shared with her my concerns about not being able to contact my guide(s).

From Brendan's holiday in   Egypt

From Brendan’s holiday in

She had an interesting take on it. She said that if my energy was already vibrating at a high level that I was already connected to my higher self, to spirit as it were, and that I didn’t need an intermediary.

She said most people who have a guide use the guide (which they have conjured up anyway, as we create all things in our lives) as a means of talking to their higher selves because they don’t yet know or trust that they can do it themselves. Quite often these people lack confidence and use the guide very much like a child uses an imaginary friend.

She suggested that whatever other spiritual practices I’ve been engaged in have brought me to accept that we are all one, all connected to each other and to all of the universe, to past, present and future and therefore there’s no need of a separate guide.

I’d really welcome some thoughts on this.

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Session 11 – Trance, trance and more guides

February 11th 2013 (Monday)

I’ll cut to the chase. No preamble about Tim’s lateness or my mental note to drive next week.

Candles, crystals and charaks

Candles, crystals and chakras

Zoe was back, and she facilitated the circle. She’d laid out a large purple cloth on which were candles, crystals and seven pieces of paper representing the chakras. After the opening prayer she explained that we would be contacting our guides though meditation and later doing some work with photographs.

The instruction was to meditate for fifteen minutes with the intention of contacting our guides. She explained for Tim’s sake how to open up the chakras, and, to the sound of quiet music we invited our guides to draw near.

I got nothing. No one even came close. No little old lady, no Native American, no ancient African warrior. Not a bean, nil, zero, zilch. Other people got stuff. Either discovered new guides or reconnected with their established ones. Even Tim got someone who he thought could be a guide.

In the following meditation she asked us to think about someone in the group we would like to get a message for, and also to be aware that our guides often speak to us through an intermediary. At that instant my phone which I’d put on silent began to vibrate. I made a mental note to check who it was when the meditation finished. She also asked us to open our eyes when we got something.

I set the intention to get a message for Sam who was sitting opposite me. Well, I must have been there for ten whole minutes getting absolutely nothing, when my mind began drifting to the magenta card I’d got earlier, and I was reflecting on how often I pull it, or it fell out the pack at me. Then the name Petra popped into my head and I focused on it for a while, happy that at least that something had come that had nothing to do with me, as I don’t know a Petra. I went back to focusing on the magenta card and had a vague sense of something to do sleeplessness, but no more guidance than that.

I was still waiting for something profound to happen when Zoe asked me to open my eyes, and I realised that everyone else had already opened theirs. I felt like the dunce in the class. When it came to feedback time she skipped over me as we went round the circle. People got amazing messages for each other. Incidentally no-one got a message for me. She came back to me last.

‘Well, I didn’t really get much.’ I hesitated.

‘I guessed as much as you didn’t open your eyes. That’s why I left you till last,’ she admitted, deepening my sense of uselessness.

‘Did you get anything at all?’

‘I got the name Petra.’ I said, hoping someone would leap up and say, ‘I can take that,’ and tell some fantastic story associated with the name. But everyone just looked at me blankly.

‘I also kept getting a lot of magenta,’ I said, and scanned the group for a take up. Again nothing. I didn’t add that what I was actually seeing wasn’t diffused magenta like some others have described, but specifically the card from the pack which also has the words ‘connect to you deepest inner knowing’ written on it.

I was losing confidence rapidly by now and muttered something about lack of sleep’. Zoe was about to move on when from out of nowhere I turned to Sam and said, ‘Have you been having difficulty sleeping?’


‘I have terrible trouble sleeping,’ he said. ‘Either I can’t get to sleep or I wake up in the early hours of the morning and can’t go back to sleep.’

‘What do you do when that happens?’ I asked, like I was some expert on insomnia.

‘Make a drink of coffee,’ he answered to horrified gasps, ‘or I read a book or watch a bit of tele.’

Once we got past the general advice from everyone about how bad coffee is if you want to sleep, I heard myself telling him that what spirit wants him to do is meditate. That the reason he can’t sleep is because he needs to go and connect with his inner guidance, his inner knowing.’

‘I’m terrible at meditating,’ he protested.

‘How about if you re-phrase that and say ‘I’m improving my meditating skills every day?’ I asked, recognising that he was perpetuating an unhelpful view of himself and therefore keeping himself there.

‘But I can’t do anymore than about five minutes when I’m on my own,’ he insisgted.

‘Well, that’s a start. If the next time you do six minutes you have improved. Congratulate yourself and affirm that you’re improving all the time.’

‘See, you did get something after all.’ Mary said, and I relaxed a little.

As Zoe began to explain about how to read from photographs I sat back and marvelled at the way spirit works. I had all but convinced myself that what I was picking up was useless bits of information and when it hadn’t made sense I was prepared to discard it. I guess that’s how some mediums must feel when they ask a sitter if something makes sense and they say ‘no’.

The photo reading exercise was of a real live couple. We were initially given no more than that. The photo was passed around and we were asked to ‘tune in’ and using all our senses try to pick up anything we could from the picture about the two people.

Some people picked up that the man was ill, which Mary confirmed. Others elaborated on the extent of his illness and made suggestions on how long he had to live, still others talked about the lack of closeness between the two, some talked about their characters and the way if affects their relationship. Tim is a natural at this, and seems to have the confidence to say what he’s picking up, usually prefixed with ‘I’m new to all this…’

After about six people had had a go, Mary (who was acting as a participant as Zoe was running the circle) asked us to think about the future for the woman.

I was last but one to get the photo. As soon as I held it I got a strong pulsing pain in the front of my head. My throat became very tight and tickly and I had to reach for a glass of water to soothe the coughs that were bubbling up.

‘Does this woman suffer from headaches?’ I asked.

‘She used to suffer from terrible migraines.’ Mary answered, ‘but not any more.’

I knew intuitively that the pain in my head wasn’t associated with the past. It was definitely located in the future as that’s what Mary had asked us to think about.

‘I think when the man dies her migraines will return, but they won’t be as prolonged as previously. She will get them under control reasonably quickly, but they will be very intense for a while.’

My attention moved to my throat, and I knew that there was creativity she’s been suppressing that will find an outlet when the man dies. I already knew she was a painter from information that came out earlier, but the word writer came into my head. I wanted to say she will write, but I wondered weather I was thinking that because I’m a writer, so I asked instead, ‘Is there something she wants to do creatively that she’s not doing now?’

‘Well, she wants to try her hand at singing,’ Mary said.

‘That’s it,’ I said eagerly, relieved that I’d got something else right.

‘But what she really wants to do is to write,’ she added.

I couldn’t believe it. Why didn’t I go with what I got? Why do I keep censoring it? I shared my original thought and asked the question out loud.

‘Why do I censor?’

‘Because you don’t trust it yet,’ Zoe suggested, ‘at the moment you still think its you, and nobody wants to make a fool of themselves. But that’s what the circle is here for. To help you build your confidence. It will come with practice.’

We closed with another trance demonstration from Zoe. Again the altered breathing, the turkey neck movements and the same male voice as last time, slow, measured, precise. He thanked us again for agreeing to help in this way and warned us about the dangers of going off too quickly before our skills are properly developed. He said there is much healing that we can do but that humility and patience are vital qualities to enable us to serve safely.

And the person who had called me during the meditation was… my husband.

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Session 10 – Paper, cards and flowers

February 10th 2013 (Thursday)

Tonight I learned that a reading can be given using any and everything, including crumpled paper and flowers.

It was unusually quiet for a Thursday, in fact only five of us plus Greg the facilitator showed up for our regular meeting with spirit at Oak House. On account of the low numbers, and at the request from one of the group, we did a practical session, akin to the Monday ones.

Greg said the best way to connect with spirit is through meditation, but accepts that some people want to practice the art of giving readings to others. After our opening prayer he said we could have a go with cards, but before we did that he demonstrated how you can give a reading from a flower.

Picking a long stemmed artificial poppy from a vase he showed how the three open blooms at varying heights could represent decades in a person’s life, or relationships, or children. If children, the two that were still in bud could represent unborn children, either in spirit or yet to come.

The foliage and flowers started halfway up the stem. If the whole flower from stem to tip of bloom represents the person’s life this could show that his/her life didn’t really take off till midway through. For example a forty-year-old’s life would have taken off at about twenty. If representing children it could show at what age they had or lost children, etc. I was spell-bound (if you’ll excuse the pun) because I could see the applications of this for writing workshops. Whole characters could be created from a flower, with believable back stories. Imagine what you could do with a bouquet – a whole dynasty.

‘Do we have any paper?’ he asked and suddenly began looking around. I thought he was going to ask us to write something down, similar to our activity with Mary in Session 7. But no. He crumpled a sheet of plain white A4 paper and told us it was possible to do a reading from it. I think the look of disbelief on one or two faces prompted his to ask us all to crumble paper. Maybe I was still looking sceptical because he took my piece of paper and proceeded to give me a reading, pointing out things that are very true and relevant in my life at the moment.

‘How?’ I wanted to know. He beckoned me to take the seat beside him and showed me the creases and indentations that looked like pictures to him.  Using his intuition and his understanding of his symbology he was able to make sense of my life. The point he was trying to make was that the messages do not come from the prop you are using, they come from spirit, and therefore any prop will do. We all develop a preference – but in the absence of a prop, if we really tune in to what spirit is trying to tell us we don’t need anything. And to be honest, some of my best readings have come from people who don’t use props. But I guess this is after years of experience and total trust. He did one other reading before saying, ‘Now you all get a chance to have a go.’ And have a go we did, with very surprising results.

On my partner’s paper I saw a face with sunken eyes and a very sad frown. My thought were that it was a very unhappy looking ghost but I didn’t know how to say this to her. This is something I’ve yet to learn. How to formulate statements positively and ask questions sensitively to make sense of what I’m seeing.

I first described the face then asked, ‘Have you had someone die recently?’

My partner sort of nodded, but to me it looked like she’d lost more than one person and wasn’t sure which I meant.

‘Is it a man or woman?’ she asked.

As soon as I said ‘man’ I knew it was the wrong answer, and desperately wanted to change it so it would fit. But we have been warned against this. We must go with what we get, even if it doesn’t make sense to the person at the time. If we swap and change we will never learn to trust, and that’s what it’s all about.

I got a few more little wins by using a side of the paper to represent her coming year. The folds represented where things would not go as smoothly as she’d wish and the straight edges when they would. According to her scrunched paper she’s in for a good summer.

As I became a little more confident I saw an aeroplane, a sea-horse and furrows on the face’s brow. I surmised the aeroplane meant travel but didn’t know if it was her going somewhere or someone coming to her. Hadn’t a clue what the sea-horse meant and the furrowed brow was actually saying ‘don’t be sad at my passing.’

‘OK let’s have a go with the cards now.’ Greg called the exploration of folds and creases to an end.

We changed partners and my partner and I worked with a set of angel affirmation cards. I felt much more at home with them. Maybe it was because I’m used to using cards, or because I’d gained some confidence from the paper exercise (if you’ll excuse the pun), but I was able to give a very meaningful account of the card for her.

‘In the summer I’ll show you how to read fresh flowers, how to read shrubs, and how to read leaves.’ Greg said. Roll on the summer.



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Session 9 – Trance

February 4th 2013 (Monday)

Tim was on time to pick me up, and very up-beat. He’d had several big wins in the week, (something to do with wood burning stoves and mirrors) one of them only this morning. He was effervescence itself.

A few were there before us, and we went straight to the room and tried to relocate our seats from last week. Someone new was sitting in mine. I simply took the one next to it that was closest to the radiator.

By the time we were all seated there were ten of us including Mary, the biggest I’ve ever known it. Mary began with a little wrist slapping reminder to us to send in the pieces we wrote last week (I could have sworn I’d emailed it to her, but with hindsight I’d only posted it on the blog). Apparently only one person sent it in.

Anyway, after a very brief opening prayer Mary introduced Zoe who was sitting next to me on my right, and said she was going to do some trance work for us, and then get us to practice giving messages. WELL!! My jaw dropped open like an uncontrolled wooden puppet’s. Not TRANCE. See session 8. I only posted the blog last night about the messages I’d got about me doing trance work – now this. As I no longer believe in coincidences I smiled and accepted that whatever form my trance comes in I’ll not resist it.

We began with a fifteen minute meditation where the objective was to become as relaxed as possible because, as Zoe explained, it was in a very relaxed state that spirit finds it easiest to work with us, and for trance work it is absolutely vital.

‘Just observe anything that comes to you in the meditation, but don’t try to find anything. The main purpose of this is just to relax.’

Mary played music which was more foot tapping than deep relaxation, but surprisingly my body settled quite quickly. After a few minutes I saw a young dancer, about late twenties in flowing red and blue costume dancing on a stage. It was a cross between belly dance and modern contemporary, with lots of spins and turns. She was full of energy and lost in the music. The name Sarah Stephenson popped into my head.

After a while a line of male Russian looking dancers entered the stage, dancing behind her from left to right. They wore dark colours. She was a bright flower against their earthy backdrop.

The scene changed after a while to a snow scape where four Huskies pulled a sledge into the driving snow. I tried to see who was in the sledge but couldn’t. The only clue I had was the name Kevin Bracebridge. After that, and just before Mary called us all back into the room, the most amazing warm and loving feeling descend on me. I wanted to stay with it, could have happily spent the whole session with this beautiful feeling.

‘Zoe’s now going to do a demonstration of trance for us,’ Mary said enthusiastically looking across at a very nervous looking Zoe. ‘Is that OK Zoe?’ Zoe shuffled in her seat and began to apologise to the group that she gets very nervous speaking on her own.

‘When my guide comes in he usually speaks with much more confidence and authority than me. That’s why I know it isn’t me, because I could never be as confident as him. I hope he’s not going to let me down today,’ she laughed nervously.

‘Your guide let you down! I can’t believe you just said that.’ Mary chided in mock astonishment.

Zoe glanced at the clock.

‘Shall I begin now?’

‘Yes please,’ most of us chirped eagerly.

‘Just give me a moment to relax,’ she said, and we all bowed our heads and closed our eyes.

Within a couple of minutes Zoe’s breathing changed, became deep and loud, like someone in very deep sleep on the verge of, but not quite snoring. I peeked a look to see what was happening. Her neck was going in and out like a turkey’s, and her lips made slight involuntary movements. When she spoke it was in the deep voice of a man, in measured carefully chosen words that addressed us as a group.

‘Thank you for allowing me to address your group,’ the voice said, ‘each of you is here for a reason. You have all agreed to help with healing the world. Your help is very much appreciated.’

He didn’t say who he was and I can’t remember word for word everything, but the gist of it was that spirit needed physical bodies to work through to help bring healing and peace to the world, and that they needed all our different and varied skills and talents. Zoe’s guide wanted to let us know that as soon as we are ready they’re ready to work with us. I think there was more, but I was so fascinated looking at the altered facial features of Zoe that I didn’t take it all in.

I’ve only seen this happen once before. In 2007 I did an ascension course at the School of the Living Light in Glastonbury, and Lita de Alberdi who facilitates the course channelled her guide Ortan. With her only her voice changed, not her face.

I was sorry when Zoe came to an end because I was so mesmerized. The question, ‘will I look and sound like this when I do trance work?’ kept going round in my head. Although fascinating, I can see how some people could find it a bit scary; and again I asked myself the question, ‘why me?’

A drink of water and a few deep breaths later and Zoe was fully back to being herself, and asked if we wanted to do some practical exercises on how to get and give messages. There was a resounding ‘yes.’

We began with seeing colour. We had to think of a flower, when we all had one we had to say who in the room the flower was for (choose someone we wanted to give the flower to). I was first, my flower was a daffodil, and I was giving it to Sheri who was opposite me.

‘Yellow’s an uplifting colour,’ said Zoe. ‘Does that make sense to you Sheri?’

It did, and Zoe went on to ask me what else daffodils reminded me of. I said ‘spring, they’re spring flowers.’

‘Which month do you associate with spring?’

‘February,’ I said, thinking of the vase of daffodils on my kitchen table.

‘Can you take February?’ she asked Sheri, anything important for you in February?’

‘I have three birthdays in February,’ confirmed Sheri.

‘Can you see how you can use the symbolism of colours to give messages?’

I nodded.

‘Obviously there’s a lot more you could find out once you get going but there’re a lot of you to get through.’

She moved to the next person who also had a daffodil, but her spring was March, and her daffodil was tinged with orange and had a different meaning for the person it was given to. Another daffodil also had yet another meaning for someone else. Zoe said it was a demonstration of how the same symbol can be used in different ways, and it was a lesson in how important it is to listen to your intuition and to your guide.

My message (given to me by someone else) was based on violet pansies. It  was that I was getting very deep into this work. Not only did the message make sense but so did the name of the flower. When Zoe said violet was also a name, ‘can anyone take violet?’ I said I could take pansy. I have a sister called Pansy whom I owe a phone call.

We then went on to do similar things with names, philosophy and messages. The names I got made sense for the person I got them for, as did the messages.

For the philosophy we were each given a different word and asked to concentrate for a few minutes to see if we got any words to share. Mine was peace. Others got love, happiness, life, etc, and we all got very useful philosophies to share with each other.

Some of the links made with names were amazing, and I’m convinced that as a group we are bonding. Even though we’re not a closed group, there are enough of us as a core each week to hold the group’s energy together.

I stayed behind to have a chat with Zoe about what training is needed to do trance work. ‘Meditation, and keep coming to circle,’ she said.

‘Is that all?’ I was more than a little relieved that no extra work would be involved.

‘Yes, the more relaxed and open you become the easier it will make it for spirit to connect with you and come through you.’

It would appear that nothing is that difficult when working with spirit. Seems all that’s needed is for us to relax and get out of the way. That’s fine by me.