Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery


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Marriage, babies and a new ministry

May 29th  2013

I dreamed that I got married to a friend of mine, joined a church and started a ministry.

Last year's Jamaican independence celebrations

Last year’s Jamaican independence celebrations

It was odd because my friend Oliver and I are not romantically attracted to each other in real life. It was also a little strange that the decision to get married was very matter of fact – like we both agreed that it was the right thing to do. There was no mad wild passion sweeping us away or anything.

I woke from the dream to go to the toilet, but was so fascinated by what had happened that I went back to sleep and went back into the dream.

In the second part of the dream I had a baby girl and Oliver and I moved into a massive country house. The test cricket was being played at the house and it was teaming with thousands of people and hundreds of celebrities. Some people were talking about catching glimpses of famous cricketers and chatting to them.

There were two other couples moving into the house that day. Both had baby girls about eight months old. I was discussing with them the merits or otherwise of another couple moving in, but was insistent that I didn’t just want to talk baby talk, I wanted more intellectual discussions.

This dream occurred in the early hours of the morning, about 7 a.m. Three hours later I had to go to the High Street unexpectedly to send a fax. As I came out of the shop I literally bumped into Oliver. I hadn’t seen him in months; he does not live in my neighbourhood and does not generally visit my neighbourhood.

‘I thought about you two days ago,’ he said as he gave me a hug.

‘I dreamed about you last night,’ I replied.

‘Pray tell, was it a good dream? What was I doing?’ He asked eagerly.

‘You were at a big house,’ I said hesitantly, ‘at some kind of event.’

‘Oh, I’m going to a big house party at the weekend in Somerset. Maybe it’s to do with that.’

‘Maybe,’ I said, happy to latch on to anything that meant I didn’t have to tell him the whole story. How do you tell a friend that three hours ago he was your husband and father of your child? So I kept quiet and chatted about general things and his reason for being in my vicinity (to meet a family member). We agreed to meet the following day for him to tell me about his month long trip to India.

I rushed home and called my friend and did the ‘you’ll never guess what!’ line.

‘Shall I tell him the whole dream?’ I wanted to know.

‘Not much point telling him only a part. It’s obviously significant that he showed up so quickly after the dream. Spirit wouldn’t have arranged that so quickly if he didn’t need to know.’

Iron Man - Birmingham City Centre

Iron Man – Birmingham City Centre

We had a quick chat about the possible meaning of the dream. The marriage could mean a new beginning, as could the babies. So many girls meant there was a need for more feminine energy – maybe bringing more feminine energy into my life and into my work. (Interestingly I’ve been remodelling my home and trying to make my bedroom a little more feminine).

The ministry? Could be a project that Oliver and I need to begin together, but why the church? I’m not particularly interested in ministry in a church setting, and neither is he. And the jury is still out on the big house.

After listening to Oliver’s exciting tales about his travels across India and his fortnight at an ashram, I told him about the dream – all of it. Fortunately, because of his spiritual beliefs he could understand that the marriage could be symbolic of other things, and we discussed the possibility of using his yoga experience in some kind of joint project.

Two things stood out for me in this dream.

  1. I was able to get back into it. I haven’t consciously done that before.
  2. This is the second time I’ve dreamed about getting married. First to God, and now to Oliver.

Some of the dream interpretations suggest marriage is about integrating the self. Does this mean I’m getting more integrated?

It’s a long and complex one, but if anyone wants to comment on any section of  it I’d welcome your take (or if you have the time and patience please comment on all of it.) Many thanks in advance.

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Session 32 – Mediumship – being in the middle

May 30th 2013 (Thursday)

We were a diminished group of just six women two men, on account of it being half-term week. Greg explained that we would be focusing on three things:

  1. Getting a connection
  2. Validation
  3. Giving a message.

He demonstrated what he meant by choosing to work with Meg.

‘I have a flat cap,’ he said, ‘a grey sort of check flat cap. Does this mean anything to you?’

‘Possibly,’ said Meg a little hesitantly.

‘OK, let me see what else I can get,’ he continued. ‘I have a brown coat.’

Meg was nodding slowly – and nodded more vigorously as Greg said, ‘It’s a very old

and worn coat.’

She was a little puzzled by the ‘trousers hanging over the belt’, but nigh on lit up at

the ‘bald head.’ That had firmly pointed to the spirit of her grandfather.

Purple Heather

Purple Heather

‘They were stages one and two,’ Greg said. I got a connection and I got Meg to validate that it’s someone she knows. Now I need to complete stage three, i.e. get a message, because if a spirit has made itself known it will usually have a message for the person.’

He concentrated for a while then said, ‘I see you looking at two sets of paper at a table and shaking your head as though the two don’t match, like something don’t quite add up.’

Again Meg looked puzzled, but eventually linked it to some family history work she was doing. The message was eeked out in bits and pieces, each time a little more being given till the full thing unfolded as, ‘there is an illegitimate male in the family which is not recorded. Someone in the family knows who it is, ask around and put the record straight.’

This all made sense to Meg, and was the clearest explanation and demonstration I’d been given in the circle about how to interpret the images and how to keep asking spirit for clarification and explanation until the message is given.

It seem daft given the number of sessions I’ve attended, but tonight was the first time I really understood that it’s not just about receiving random images and asking the person if they could ‘take’ the images. Communicating with the spirit of those who have passed has purpose. It is to help and guide those who are still here.

‘So now you’ve seen how it’s done, it’s your turn to have a go now,’ Greg said. ‘Focus on someone you feel drawn to and try and make a connection. It doesn’t matter whether you get a message at this stage, if you do great, if not, that’s fine. We can do this in stages.’

I was drawn to Tina, the lady opposite me. I saw a tall slim and very attractive lady with long blonde straight hair in party clothes and dancing shoes who looked like she was dancing. That’s all I got for a while, then I saw her holding and rocking a baby but not looking too happy about doing so. Then I saw a cake, like a birthday cake and the number 86, and got the names Ada, Linda and Brenda.

As soon as I started to describe the woman Tina recognised her as a grandmother. She understood the party clothes, dancing shoes and especially the cake. She seemed a little disappointed that her grandmother didn’t want to rock the baby, and the 86 didn’t mean anything to her.

‘So you’ve made a connection and got validation,’ Greg interjected, ‘now try and get a message.’

Although I’ve previously got the impression I needed to tell Tina to get her dancing shoes on, I sat quietly and listened with closed eyes to see if I’d get anything else. To my mind what I got was quite a bland message, ‘do more for yourself, stop taking yourself so seriously, lighten up and little and get out more,’ but it made absolute sense to Tina.

She explained that since the birth of her baby she’d been so focused on daughter that she’d not really done anything for herself. (It was only later that I recognised the significance of the grandmother not wanting to rock the baby – don’t let the baby take over she was saying.)

Other people had varying levels of success. One person got a message for another member of her family, for him to go and get a health check. Only one person didn’t get anything from the process.

The person who had focused on me got a message from a great grandfather who wanted me to know that he’s with me and helping me to live the essence of my name (which means wisdom).

During the question and answer session at the end I asked about what to do with the other information if the person validates quite quickly. In Tina’s case I didn’t bother to use the names, or to go any further with the 86.

Greg said all the information need to be given (incidentally Tina could take both Linda and Brenda). Each piece of information needs to be interrogated until the message of the image is clear. Well, I will know for next time.

For the first time tonight I felt like I’d given a reading as a medium. It felt strange to know that I had actually connected with the spirit of someone who had lived and was able to be a mouthpiece for her.


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Cow and Ivy

May 26th 2013 (Sunday)

I had two very distinctive images in meditation this morning.

2002-01-01 00.00.00-14391st image – I was cutting a piece of a plant from under a tree with very low branches that were almost touching the ground so that I had to bend and grope for the plant I wanted. The piece of plant had five leaves on a vine similar to that of the ivy, but not thick and waxy like the ivy. The leaves were about two inches in radius and thinner than the ivy. They were a little deeper than spring green in colour.

2nd image – I saw a very large cow walking across a mixed landscape of desert, plains and woods, with some houses to the edges. Although the cow was real the landscape was a model made of papier mache and sand.

Both lasted a few seconds then faded.

Animal Spirit Guides Stephen D Farmer, PH.D.

Animal Spirit Guides
Stephen D Farmer, PH.D.

I looked up cow in my Spirit Animal Guide book. The possible explanations are:

  • This is a very nourishing time for you, so be willing to partake of all that is offered to you.
  • You have nothing to worry about, as you’re well provided for in spite of any fears or doubts.
  • This is a time for mending and healing the relationship with your mother, whether she’s alive or has passed into the spirit world.
  • You may wish to work with the Hindu goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of fortune, as a means of being assured of your abundance.
  • Stand in your truth, and once you’ve made your decision, don’t let others sway you.
  • You may be called upon to make some sort of sacrifice that will benefit the greater good.

I wasn’t sure what the plant meant, but obviously got plenty to think about for the cow.  I’ve been getting a lot of messages recently that all my needs are taken care of, and that I will soon have more than enough for my own needs and plenty to share with others.

I had to make a decision yesterday which I think I may be asked to change. After this I will remain resolute. The other things don’t resonate so well with me, and I’m sincerely hoping I won’t be asked to make any more sacrifices.

I couldn’t make sense of the plant. The only thing I could think of was that it had something to do with shamanism and using plant remedies. However, it was a beautifully sunny day and I spent a lot of time gardening. Maybe it was as simple as that – a message about gardening. Unless of course you have a different view on any of the above. Love to hear from you.


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Session 31 – Turning over a new leaf – giving readings from leaves

Another all female week, in fact, if we continue at this rate we’ll become a closed group by default.

‘Before you get comfortable I want you all to go outside and pick a leaf from the garden,’ Mary instructed us. So off we trundled spreading out like hunter dogs across the garden, and returned with our catch which most of us placed under our chairs.

Ribbon carousel

Ribbon carousel

After a brief opening prayer which was the task of our newest member, Mary launched into our first exercise, colour ribbon reading. It’s an exercise we’ve done before and I wasn’t too fazed when I had to go first.

Although we had been paired up using Mary’s crystal colour coding, we had to give the reading in front of the whole group. My partner was the newest member, and I was grateful because I knew very little about her.

She choose a turquoise strip. Because I’d also seen her leaf which was a very delicate multi-fronded acer one I was already aware that she was a multi-faceted person, and as turquoise links to creativity I felt on pretty safe ground to tell her she was very creative in several different areas.

I’m also becoming a little more confident to use what I know of things like body language to do readings. Also using my NLP training is becoming easier because I’m not as tense about actually giving a message. If nothing else these circles have helped to build my confidence in using all the skills I already have, in addition to the new ones I’m learning.

I picked up on her perfectionist nature, her unwillingness to ask for help because everyone perceives her as being very strong and not needing any. There were other things too, one of which must have come to me spiritually because I couldn’t work out how I knew.

When it came to my turn I choose orange, and was the only one that hadn’t chosen a colour that I was wearing.

I was pretty impressed by her reading, given that she also knew very little about me. Other readings also demonstrated degrees of accuracy.

Leaf

Leaf

Our next task was to do a reading for each other using the leaves we’d picked. I worked with a different partner. I’d heard it was possible to do a reading from a leaf – in fact from anything – so was quite interested to see what I would make of the very floppy leaf my partner handed me.

That was the first thing I used in her reading, the fact that she was feeling a little wilted, but that it was of her own doing as she had difficulty with delegating.

As she’s one of the more established members of the group I was very pleased when she said,

‘You’re definitely getting better,’ and continued to repeat this at intervals as I proceeded with the reading.

‘Looking at the way the veins go to the edge of the leaf. I’d say you’re a completer finisher. You like to see a job through. But looking at the number of veins I’d say you often take on too much and get frustrated with yourself because you can’t complete them to the standard you want. Or you try and do them and wear yourself out.’

‘You’re definitely getting better,’ she said emphatically.

‘Looking at the way this leaf comes to a sharp point I’d say that your tongue can be very sharp sometimes. Your words can be very cutting.’

‘I’m working on that,’ she said. ‘I’m learning to just let some things be, not take them personally, and just let people carry on with their foolishness.’

‘I’m not sure how to say the next thing…’ I hesitated.

‘Just say it as it comes,’ she encouraged.

‘Well, the shape of this leaf is your natural shape; the weight you’re carrying is not you.’

‘Oh my God, do you know I never used to be this big. I’ve just agreed to start a new diet on Monday. I’m going to be eating…’

‘Actually what I’m seeing is that you don’t need to diet. What you need to do is focus on the things you want to do and have fun doing them. Don’t take on too many things and get frustrated and eat a result. Do things that you really enjoy and you will raise your vibration to a very high level. When you’re in that state your body will regulate itself. That’s part of the problem with diets. People get so focused on food that they forget to enjoy themselves, and the more they focus on their weight the more of a battle they have with food.’

‘So are you saying don’t focus on the diet?’

‘Yes. I used to be three stones heavier than I am now, and used to diet all the time. You know –  the classic yo-yo diet. It would come off, and then go on again. Then I noticed that it was when I was unhappy that it went on. It took a while but I re-programmed my brain, and now my weight is pretty constant.’

Leaf

Leaf

It was time to switch over and for her to read my leaf.

‘There are five major projects you’re working on at the moment, and looking at this tiny hole in this part of the leaf I would say that one of them is not going as well as you’d like, but it’s only a little hiccup.’

‘Only five?’ I joked.

‘Major ones,’ she said.

‘You’re quite a balanced person, but you too need to look after your energy,’ she said as she held the leaf between both her hands. Then she appeared to go off issues to do with the leaf.

‘September is important to you. So is October this year. And July is very important, especially the 7th.

‘Yes, all of those make sense. My birthday is in September, I’m taking a trip in October and I’ve been trying to make up my mind whether to go to an event on the 6th or 7th of July,’

‘Go on the 7th,’ she said empathically.

Because we’d run over on my reading to her, we had to stop there as Mary was calling us back.

We shared our experiences in the large group. Four of us carried out the exercise; the other two had a deep and meaningful discussion instead. The other pair also had a lot of success with their leaf reading.

Just before we closed someone asked if we could all just pull one card. Mary got a pack and spread them on the floor.

Mine was SEDNA – Infinite Supply. All your needs are taken care of for today and all of your tomorrows. I smiled.

Have you done any leaf reading? Can you see anything else in these leaves?


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Session 30 – Very touchy feely

May 16th 2013 (Thursday)2002-01-01 00.00.00-1442

We were nine tonight, two men and seven women. I was on a high from the day from a lot of clearing. I threw out five bags of cassette tapes – yes and many of those were recorded psychic readings. Oh how things have changed, now I do the psychic readings. And I was really looking forward to practicing some more tonight.

However, as I walked into the log cabin the chill made me reach for my jacket, one of those situations where it was warmer outside.

As we waited for everyone to arrive I could feel the energy draining out of me. By the time we got to the first meditation I was asleep through most of it. It was a colour one where we had to visualise the colours of the rainbow and then see them swirling around us. Mine became a vortex which pulled me in and sent me to sleep.

I could barely keep my eyes open during the feedback, which didn’t go unnoticed. Someone requested that we do the meditation to meet our guides. As Greg began, I realised that its one we’ve done before, only in that one I was much more awake, so much so I was flying around the room.

Anyway, we went to a cottage and sat in a chair and waited for our guide to reveal him/her/it self to us from the feet upwards. I saw nothing. I kept hoping that maybe by the time we got to the head that I’d see something. But no, zilch, nada, nothing.

The only things I experienced were the tingling around my third eye, which is the sign my grandmother uses to let me know her energy is around me, and someone stroking my cheeks. This was so soothing that I fell asleep again.

After the feedback we were a little stuck for something to do, so Greg suggested we had a go at psychometry. He handed over a set of keys to one of group and asked for a message. It took a while coming as the person had been put on the spot, but Greg said it made sense to him.

He, the reader, had to give something to someone else. She gave him a message and passed something to another person. By this time I felt almost comatose. I was struggling to keep my eyes open. The level of energy in the room felt low, several people had said they felt unpleasant physical symptoms during the second meditation, and I really couldn’t concentrate.

I apologised to Greg, said I wasn’t feeling well and needed to leave. Said goodbye to everyone and headed home.

As I drove home my spirits gradually lifted. Could this heavy energy have anything to do with the fact that I’ve been doing a lot of clearing out, spring cleaning and throwing out lots of things that I once held dear? Or could it be something else. And why did it descend when I was in the room, and lift when I left?

 


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Only one spirit

15th May 2013

I first encountered spirit in July 2003 in a Louise Hay teacher training course. It was a physical encounter which I could not deny. Prior to that I didn’t believe in spirit.

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1433Since then I’ve been trying to get my head around all the different forms of spirit. Did angels exist? I got heavily into angel cards, learned about the Archangels and all the major and minor ones. I became a Reiki practitioner and connected with the healing spirits. I learned about fairies and elementals, about the spirits of nature, and about ascended masters.

When I first got evidence of the spirit of deceased members of my family I was initially very afraid, and would call on the angels to protect me from other kinds of negative spirits.

When I was finally dragged kicking and screaming to the psychic development circles it was because things I’d written about in my second novel were becoming manifest in real life, like I was watching an unfolding of my story. Some of this has also started to happen with my third, yet to be published novel. I found this very spooky, and even began to worry in case I wrote ill of someone and it happened.

In the circles we’ve been taught about connecting to our guides, and through Shamanism I’m learning about animal spirit as guides.

Add to the mix the fact that I’m an A Course in Miracles student where one of the central teachings is that we are one with God, that our higher Self has direct connection to God and freely communicates with him/her/it, and that time spent in communion with God is all the guidance we need, and you can see that I was getting a little confused.

Different people from the different groups gave me their interpretation of spirit but there was no-one connecting up all the dots for me. I decided to meditate on it.

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1401What I got two days ago was that there is only ONE spirit that it has different aspects to it, and that when we ‘connect’ with it we are connecting with that part that we need at that moment. Spirit is part of us and we are part of it. My higher Self is that spirit, and my higher Self knows all that was, is and will be – past, present and future.

What I realised in this meditation is that when I’ve talk about ‘spirit overload’, i.e. getting messages all the time in different formats such as dreams, visions, meditations and in writing till I’m exhausted, that I’m actually bringing this on myself. There are no external spirits piling it in till I’m weighed down.

In circle the advice was to ask spirit to go easy. Dave Scullen advised that I visualised a tap on full speed and then turn it down. The former didn’t work but the latter did. That’s what got me thinking. Did I do it or did spirit do it?

Spirit is not an external part of me, another person, another entity living somewhere else who visits me from time to time. Spirit is a part of me that I’ve just discovered how to access, and like a child in a sweetshop I’ve been grabbing at everything – all that time. This is one of my personality traits. When I get excited about something I tend to overdo it and often get worn out, before I learn how to pace myself.

So this is really about me regulating my access, and not being afraid that it’s going to go away if I don’t grab it all now. I’m not being ‘speeded up’ as one of my friends suggested. I’m speeding myself up.

What I stumbled on accidentally, unconsciously, with the writing, I can do consciously through meditation. I’m understanding more what Lynne McTaggart means by intention meditation.

It’s like writing your shopping list before you go shopping instead of going with a big trolley and no list. There will be plenty to choose from in the shop, and you’ll come home with some exciting things and maybe some basic things. And when you get them home you’ll work out what to do with them. You may even have been working out as you went around the shop what could be used for what.

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1443But if you go to the supermarket knowing a) what you want, and b) that they have it your time in there will be more productive (so long as you don’t get side-tracked). You can go to the right aisles, straight to the correct shelves – and if you don’t know you can always ask and get directions.

That’s what happens in circle meditations where we’re asked to focus on a specific person for messages. Much easier that picking things up randomly and hoping someone will be able to ‘take’ it.

Meditation is conscious connection with spirit, with my higher Self, with the spirit of all who have ever inhabited a body on this earth and those who haven’t. When I connect with my grandma, I’m re-connecting with that part of me that once inhabited that body, that has the wisdom and the strength that is available to me, always has been available and always will be available.

When I fell asleep at the laptop while I was writing the novel I connected with the writing spirit part of me that continued to write the story.

This may all seem self-evident to you but to me this is a mystery solved. Angels, guides, universal Reiki energy, ancestors, spirit animals – all one – and all me.

So what can I do with this knowledge? Well, when I have an issue – any issue – big or small, I can go to the place where all the answers are. Instead of flapping around in my little self I can go to my higher Self and ask for the answer. I can call on whichever part I think will have the best chance of getting me the answer, my grandmother, Buddha, Shakespeare, Jesus and other ascended masters, wolf, owl, rabbit, or Archangel Michael.

I can learn to trust that the answer will always be there and be patient enough to wait for it to become evident.

I can stop fearing that my writing is in some way prophetic and stop trying to censor what I write in case I bring on some apocalyptic event, or hasten someone’s demise. Very liberating! Comments welcomed PLEASE!