Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery


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One year on

10th January 2014

An idea lives on

An idea lives on

One year ago today (10th January 2013) I started this blog to share with others the strange phenomena that had happened with my second novel, (i.e. things I’d written about started to happen in real life) see below and also see about. I wanted to see whether engaging in psychic development would have any noticeable effect on my future writing.

It has been an amazing year.

Crystal ball

Crystal ball

Circles – I began going to psychic development circles on Mondays and Thursdays. The Monday classes were focused more on using tools such as cards, crystal balls etc to give messages. The Thursday classes focused more on connecting directly with spirit (mediumship) in order to give messages.

I had many fantastic experiences. I realised that I could give messages using just about anything from cards, crystal balls, photographs, coloured ribbon, to plant leaves, flowers and scrunched up bits of paper. I learned that these things are just props, something to focus on until the connection with spirit is so strong that you don’t need them anymore. In the Thursday sessions I built my connection and learned how to do it without the props.

PICT2188I was given many amazing messages from others in these sessions. I also learned that a trained and experienced circle leader can see inside your meditation. It was in one of these sessions that I was directed to look more closely at the Maroons in Jamaica. Several messages from different people lead me to push past my fear and explore shamanism. I first met one of my animal teachers at a Thursday circle.

The Amadeus Centre, West London

The Amadeus Centre, West London

Shamanism – My exploration of shamanism took me to a workshop at the Amadeus in London in June. It was called The Way of the Shaman. It was incredibly intense and I came away knowing that shamanism was the spiritual path for me. It lead to a new category of the blog by the same name.

Earl Purdy and me - awesome man

Earl Purdy and me at A Course in Miracles Conference – awesome man 

Workshops – In between the circles and the shamanic workshop I attended a number of other developmental workshop. These are recorded under Developmental Events.

 

 

 

Dreams – Once I began the circles my dreams became much more active and in some cases predictive. Many of these are recorded under Dreams. I was incredibly grateful to everyone who made suggestions on how to interpret them.

Graves at Brompton Cemetry

Graves at Brompton Cemetry

Stepping stones – Sometimes things would happen that didn’t fit into any of the categories. Things like seeing things flash before my eyes, or hearing voices that instructed me to do certain things (am I scaring you now?) like when I was told about Tom Seligman. The information lead me to more information for the research for the book I was writing. Another lead me to West Brompton Cemetery in London.

Countdown to Cameroon – From the research I developed a curiosity about my African ancestry. I took a DNA test which showed that my ancestors were from Cameroon. In October I set off to find them and had an adventure that surpassed all my expectation.

African Ancestry DNA kit

African Ancestry DNA kit

Writing – And what about the writing? As well as the many thousands of words of blogging I wrote two more books.

The first, Never on Sunday was published as an ebook in August and in December in hard copy. Both are available from Amazon.

Never on Sunday by Penny Dixon

Never on Sunday by Penny Dixon

The second book, Love is Not a Reward is current out to readers for comment. The ones I’ve received so far are favourable. This is the one that’s linked to the parenting course that I’ve been writing for the polytechnic in Barbados. It’s due out in about three months time.

Trying to get over the shock

It wasn’t all hard work in Barbados

So has the experiment worked? Did the psychic development influence my writing? The only evidence I have is that things I’ve written in both Never on Sunday and Love is Not a Reward have happened in real life. I’m still a little spooked by it because I never know which things are going to manifest in real life. Maybe that would be true prediction, true prophecy.

Where to now? – Well, the writing continues. I have at least eight books in my head waiting to come out. Spiritually I will be focusing more on shamanic practices and will write about these as much as I can.

Dancing with the juju man

Dancing with the juju man in Cameroon

Back to Cameroon – I’ll be going back to Cameroon later this year so will be writing about that too, along with anything interesting that happens in my spiritual, ancestral and writing world. I hope you will continue to drop in from time to time.

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Moringa in the morning – lizard at night

Thursday 21 November 2013

Moringa pods

Moringa pods

Yesterday I had my first mosquito bite. I got a sense that I had stayed too long in there space and they just wanted me to leave. I had been six hours in the same place in the lounge writing. I took myself off to my bedroom and noticed a small lizard on the wall. My friends told me that lizards eat flies and mosquitoes. That news was strangely comforting. I felt that the lizard was protecting my personal space.

Since I’ve been in Barbados my UK mobile phone has not worked. It kept saying ‘no service.’ This morning I had my cleaning head on and was doing it to the music on my phone which was stuffed down my cleavage.

As I bent over to move some shoes out of the way a small lizard (the same size as the one that was in my room) ran out from behind the shoes. Startled, I jumped back and my phone fell to the floor. The back fell off and the battery fell out. I replaced them both and immediately started receiving texts. Service had been resumed.

As I continued with the cleaning I couldn’t find a pair of rubber gloves. The same (or pretty near identical) lizard scurried past me. I watched where it disappeared to, and there was a hand of glove.

At this point I decided to look up the spiritual meaning of lizards. When lizards show up it’s mainly an indication to pay attention to one’s dreams and visions. I have not done a shamanic journey (meditation) in over a week now. Maybe this is a prompt to either meditate, or to pay closer attention to my dreams.

In terms of writing, I stayed on the project for about 12 hours yesterday. We have a meeting tomorrow to discuss progress and I was feeling a little panicked.

It’s been difficult to get my head back into academic writing – but I’m there now. Ably assisted my regular intake of moringa, both as tea first thing in the morning, and the seeds throughout the day.

Open moringa pod, exposing seeds

Open moringa pod, exposing seeds

My friends have a friend who owns a moringa tree. It’s interesting to break open the pod and get the seeds out fresh.

No beach for me yesterday. Doesn’t look like it will happen today either – but I am going to Oistens tonight to eat fish as part of the food and drink festival that’s going on here at the moment.

 


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The Way of the Shaman – Journey to find my life purpose

Saturday 3rd August 2013

Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some

Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some

I’d just finished reading Malidoma Patrice Some’s book Of Water and the Spirit and was so envious that he knew what his life purpose was so early in life that I decided to do a journey to try and find mine. I’ve been asking since January to be helped to remember what it is.

I set the intention three times – ‘my intention is to journey to the lower world to meet my animal guides and to ask them to show me my life purpose.’

I felt very apprehensive as I walked to my usual axis mundi, and the journey down the roots of the tree was slow and laborious.

Both the eagle and the jaguar were waiting for me. They bowed to me as before and I told them why I’d come. I began to gibber away about what I’d been told before about being a high priestess in Egypt, about being a writer, a healer and a shaman. I rattled on for ages while they patiently listened and didn’t interrupt.

‘So can you tell me,’ I ended.

‘You said you wanted to be shown,’ jaguar reminded me.

They both looked kindly at me, before eagle flew off.

‘Where’s she going?’ I asked jaguar.

‘To keep watch,’ he replied and indicated to me to follow him.

I was expecting something akin to what I’d been reading in Malidoma’s book – some kind of initiation. We walked through a clearing, through a forest and past the mouth of a cave. All these things are in Of Water and the Spirit.

Each time I thought the jaguar was going to show me something, but he just kept on walking till we came to another much bigger clearing.

It took me a while to work out that we was standing in the middle of a massive heart. Gradually the outside of the heart filled with men of all different shapes, sizes and ages. Although of different races they were predominantly black.

‘You are to heal men my opening your heart to them,’ the jaguar said.

I wanted to scream ‘NO! NOT THAT! THAT’S TOO PAINFUL!’ I looked around at all the men and began to cry. I wasn’t just crying in the journey, I was also crying into my blindfold. I felt as if my own heart was breaking.

All I could think of was that it would mean no happiness for me – men constantly coming and going in my life. The jaguar tried to reassure me that all would be fine.

‘But what about the women?’ I asked, ‘Don’t the women need healing too?’

‘When the men are healed, the women will be healed too,’ he carried on in his soothing way. ‘The women are strong but they look to the men for leadership, they look to the men for love. The men need to heal. It’s why you came.’

All I kept thinking was, ‘what about my own happiness,’ while the jaguar went on about the importance of the men healing.

Then all the men disappeared and were replaced by prepubescent boys. My heart went out to them and I sobbed (I must find a less clichéd word) literally and figuratively. Then they were replaced by the men, then the boys. They kept interchanging.

‘How am I going to do this?’ I asked the jaguar.

‘That’s for another journey;’ he answered softly, ‘this one was about your purpose.’

‘Where’s the eagle?’ I enquired.

‘She’s gone to check out the way,’ he said before the call-back tempo made me realise how quickly 30 minutes had passed.

I was still crying when I returned, with a heaviness that made it difficult to move. It wasn’t really what I’d wanted to hear or to see. It felt (feels) like too much at too big a personal cost.


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Messages from Butterflies

Tuesday 30th July 2013

On Sunday I worked in my lounge which has a beautiful stained glass window. Throughout the whole day a white (well kind of cream really) butterfly kept my company. Well, maybe ‘kept my company’ is a little misleading; it would be more accurate to say we shared the same space. We didn’t communicate with each other. The butterfly flapped its wings manically against the window, as if trying to push through the glass, for longs periods of time, and then was still for equal lengths of time. It carried on like this all day making no attempt to leave the room or the corner it was in, even though the door was open.

On Monday morning when I did my cards a single one fell out – the butterfly.

When I went into the lounge the butterfly from the day before was still there, sitting on the window ledge. I vacuumed around it but it didn’t move.

There were lots of white butterflies in the garden, and have been there for some days, I asked it if it didn’t want to go out and join its friends, but it didn’t move or acknowledge me.

My son came to visit and I told him the saga of the previous day and the morning. He was fascinated, but could offer no explanation.

As I drove off on the hot summer day with my windows down to attend a friend’s funeral, I realised there was a white (cream) butterfly flying around in the car. It went into one of the spare pair of my shoes that was on the floor of the passenger side.

As I pulled over to call my son to tell him the butterfly flew out of the window.

Animal Spirit Guides Stephen D Farmer, PH.D.

Animal Spirit Guides
Stephen D Farmer, PH.D.

Today the one in the lounge is still there, so I looked up the meaning of butterfly again. I knew they meant big changes but wondered if there was something else I was missing.

Here’s what Stephen Farmer’s book  Animal Spirit Guides says:

If BUTTERFLY shows up it means:

  • Lighten up and stop taking everything so seriously.
  • Get ready for a big change, one where an old habit, way of thinking, or lifestyle is going out, and a new way of being is emerging.
  • It’s time to make the changes you’ve been considering.
  • In spite of the challenges, you’ll get through this transition, and as always, you know that ‘this too shall pass.’
  • Express yourself by wearing more colourful clothing.

I read the meanings to a friend and joked about the fact that I was wearing cream and black – hardly the most colourful of clothes. She suggested that I should speak to the butterfly and ask it what message(s) it had for me.

Oh yes, I became Mrs Doolittle. I spoke to the butterfly as it sat motionless on the window, as it had done for hours.

‘What’s with all the flapping and all the hanging around?’ I asked casually.

As if in answer it began flapping around, not as frenetically as on Sunday, but definitely flapping. When it opened its wings I noticed the black markings on the outside. It wasn’t just cream, it was black and cream. We matched! Not all butterflies are colourful. Then it was still again. Then another little flap, and a longer spell of stillness.

Then I swear it said to me, ‘I was a pupa before I became a butterfly, learn to be still. At the moment you need more stillness than activity. Be still.’

Have I officially flipped???


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The Way of the Shaman – Eagles and Jaguars

Journey to find the significance of the Jaguar and Eagle in my life.

Monday 29th July 2013

Yesterday I got a reply to the blog Way of the Shaman – Power Animal Retrieval. Sandra asked whether I was aware that ‘The Jaguars’ and ‘The Eagles’ were names given to elite warriors in the Aztec army.

I wasn’t, but Googled it, and sure enough my animal teachers were the noble and elite warriors of that ancient civilization.

Now, this was a little disconcerting because I have no wish to go into battle over anything. Not voluntarily anyway. In fact my whole focus of the moment is towards peace, inner and outer.

I was so rattled by this that I decided to do a shamanic journey to find the answer. This is what happened.

I journey to the lower world through my usual axis mundi, the tree in my front of my house. As I entered the lower world my teacher, the jaguar, was waiting for me. I told him why I’d come.

He contemplated for a little while with his head down. I’m getting used to his ways now. He seems to take his time to consider how best to work with me.

When he raised his head a big round boulder had materialise beside me.

‘Sit down,’ he said softly.

I did as I was told and he sat opposite me.

‘You need to learn to breathe like a jaguar’ he continued in his soft voice. ‘You need to learn how to rest properly and be ready for action when necessary. When you get back look up how jaguars breathe.’

We sat for a while, both of us breathing deeply.

‘Why do I need to be ready for action?’ I asked, remembering the warrior link.

He showed me a crowd of people, thousands of heads, like when the spotlight washes over the crowd at a concert.

‘What are they doing?’ I asked perplexed.

He didn’t answer for a while, and then in a voice I could just about hear he said, ‘you’ll touch them all in some way.’

I was about to ask another question but he indicated that I should get back to the deep breathing. He kept reiterating how important it was for me to learn to breathe properly, to relax, and to be prepared.

After what seemed like a long time I asked him why I hadn’t seen the eagle since the course. Almost as soon as the question left my lips the eagle appeared beside him. She was almost the same size as him.

She bowed her head to me, then the jaguar did too, then they both bowed together. I bowed back.

We sat looking at each other in silence for a while before the eagle reached out her right wing and gently, as if I was a baby, stroked the left side of my face. Looking deeply into my eyes she stroked my right cheek with her left wing before enveloping me in both wings.

She felt tender and soft and I could have happily stayed in her embrace forever. It was then I felt the jaguar put his arms around us in a group hug. I felt safe and protected and very reluctant to leave as the music changed to the call back tempo and I made my way back up the tree roots into my room.

The message about relaxing made a lot of sense to me as I’ve been flying around like a mad thing recently. It was interesting, when I reflected on the experience, that I had gone on a journey to meditate, because that is clearly what I’d done for most of the time. This message was reiterated with an experience I had with butterflies. See blog Messages from butterflies.

Touching many people? Yes, that makes sense too, because words can do that. It doesn’t mean I have to personally meet with thousands of people.

But I’m still not clear why specifically a jaguar and an eagle. I looked up how jaguars breathe but couldn’t find anything.

I’d be happy to hear your take on any of it.


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Session 39 – Meeting my power animal

Thursday 18th July 2013

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1386Another small group, 3 men and two women but so different to last week.  We were in the log cabin again, but began our first relaxation meditation not long after 7.30.

Just as I closed my eyes to begin I saw two cats playing on the floor to the left of me.

As I’d mentioned to Greg that I was going on a shamanic workshop at the weekend he said he’d do a shamanic journey with us to meet our power animals. He’d very generously offered to help me choose a stone from the garden that would be suitable to take with me on the course. He thought the one I’d chosen was too big (not palm size as requested by the course but more something that could be used as a lethal weapon). He said it was likely to be the first of 13 alter stones if I decided to pursue a shamanic path therefore a smaller would be better.

He told us some of the basic differences between shamanism and spiritualism, but basically said there was a lot of overlap. He then took up on a shamanic journey (without the drums) to meet out power animals.

He ask us to climb up a hill and then down the other side.

‘Stop and look back at how far you’ve come,’ he said.

I was about half way down. He told us to look across the landscape to an island shrouded in mist. We were heading for the island but first we had to go through the woods that were directly in front of us.

‘Stand still and wait for a sign to show you which direction to go in,’ he said.

I waited. A coconut fell off a tree and rolled to my left. (What’s a coconut tree doing in a British woods!!!) Anyway, no time to think about it as we were being instructed that we had now come to a clearing where there was a lake and a ceremonial robe. We had to put it on.

There were seven robes on the ground in front of me, one in each colour of the rainbow. I had an internal tussle between the yellow and the purple one, but finally choose the purple.

‘Step into the lake,’ Greg instructed us, ‘and get into the canoe which you can now see.’

Wet and dripping I got in, marvelling at how things can just materialise in front of your very eyes in meditation.

We had to row across to the island, get out and choose between one of three paths, a wood, a river and a beach.

I really wanted to follow the river but found myself pulled to the beach.

‘Sit on a rock or a log. Close your eyes and wait for your power animal to come to you,’ he said. ‘Be aware that it could be huge like an elephant or tiny like a wren, or even an ant. When you feel your animal’s presence open your eyes and look at it.’

Even while Greg was still speaking I saw, in my mind’s eye, a sleek and graceful black jaguar walking down the beach towards me. When I opened my eyes I found myself looking deep into its eyes. His face was only inches away from me, but I felt no fear. In fact I felt the opposite, I felt completely safe.

‘Walk with your power animal,’ Greg told us.

As we began walking along the beach I could feel his power and knew he could and would protect me from anything.

‘Ask your power animal if it has a message for you,’ Greg said.

I waited for the jaguar to say something to me. When he spoke to me it was telepathically.

‘You’re stronger than you believe. You’re faster than you know. Never fear those who fear you.’ His voice was strong but soothing, and I was about to ask what he meant by ‘never fear those who fear you’, when Greg said,

‘You come to a river and have to get back into the boat.’

Power Animal Oracle Cards

Power Animal Oracle Cards

I was feeling a little sad that I had to leave but perked up when Greg said, ‘Your power animal gets in with you and you paddle back to the other side. When you get there get out of the canoe and immerse yourself into the water before coming back into the room.’

I reflected on my messages while the first person shared her journey. She too had seen a black jaguar, but had also had a bear and a bird. I’d look up Jaguar in my Power Animal pack with I got home.

The first two parts of my message made sense to me, but why would I fear those who fear me?

Greg said he felt it was about letting go of my fears, not just learning how to control them but letting go of them completely, because I had nothing to fear.

I mentioned the cats.

‘Was one of them black,’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ I replied wondering if he’d seen them too.

‘They are often in here,’ he said. They used to live here and their spirits obviously come back from time to time to visit.

‘Must be a thing with cats tonight,’ I joked.

Because three of us had unanswered questions from the meditation Greg suggested doing ten minute silent meditation to ask for answers. One was ‘Why am I constantly hot?’ Another ‘Why am I always rocking?’ A third was ‘How do I step into my power?’ and mine was ‘How do I get rid of my fear?’

Within minutes I felt a tremendous tingling in my back. It went on for some time. I began to wonder if it meant ‘don’t look back’ or ‘learn from the past’ or ‘don’t hold on to past hurts.’ I was still trying to work it out when Greg called us back.

One of the women said that tingling in the back is usually an indication that our angelic wings are being fitted, or if already fitted being adjusted, often being made bigger.

Greg thought it was about not focusing on the past, but looking to the future.

I’m still not sure. Do you have any other suggestions???

 


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Session 36 – Away with the fairies

June 27th 2013 (Thursday)

Tonight’s meditation was just pure fun. Cain took the group again, although Greg joined us, freshly baked from his holiday.

Rainbow

Rainbow

Cain told us he was going to take us on a meditation to connect with the fairy world, and to become pure light energy like them.

We began, the two men and five women, with a ball of light coming up from the earth through our bodies and then surrounding us as we walked down a leafy country lane in the bright sunshine.

When we came to a huge wall of light we went through it.

‘As you step through the wall of light you will feel your body becoming a pure ball of light. Feel yourself lifting up high above a meadow of wild flowers. What can you see?’ He asked.

‘Now focus on reducing your size, feel yourself getting smaller and smaller until the flowers are much bigger than you,’ Cain instructed us.

‘When you’re as small as you can get, look out for tiny elementals approaching you. I’m going to leave you here with them in the meadow for a while.’

As we began the meditation I felt very light, and had no difficulty floating up through the air after stepping through the wall of light.

I immediately focused of two majestic magenta peonies and headed straight for them. On the way, as I got smaller and smaller, a tiny flying elemental dressed in green leggings with dragonfly wings approached me.

She took me to play in the long grasses, bending them over and using them as slides. After a while she took me to a place under the cover of some leaves where a row of tiny pink hammocks lay empty.

‘Hop up here,’ she encouraged me from her hammock, ‘there’s something you need to find in here.’

Try as I might I could not raise myself high enough to get into the hammock, and after a while gave up.

She took me instead to the end of a rainbow where the rain fell in rainbow colours.We pretended it was a pool, diving and somersaulting through the drops. We seemed to be there for ages till Cain called us back into the room, through the wall of light again.

I was fascinated by the range of things experienced by the others in the group (as usual) and how different they were from mine. Some people saw guides; one joined a whole group of elementals in their work of repairing the damaged flowers and plants, and another went flying at great speed.

Cain said it was interesting that the hammocks I couldn’t reach were pink, because pink is a higher vibration to the rainbow colours.

We didn’t do any great analysis of the experiences, but I think mine was about making more time for fun.

I wonder what was in the pink hammocks that I needed to know, and whether I’ll get another chance soon to find out.