Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery


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The Way of the Shaman

I started back at spiritual development circle at Oak House on Tuesday night. It’s stated aim is to prepare participants for platform/rostrum work. I was amazed to be in the same group of one of my original mentors.

The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner

The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner

I had lengthy discussions about the role of mediumship in shamanic work, and have now accepted that the developing accuracy of my shamanic journeying is akin to good mediumistic messages.

Interesting that I should have been presented with a copy of Michael Harner definitive work on shamanism, ‘The Way of the Shaman’ as a gift on the night.

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Loving it by the lake

2014-06-28 19.56.50I’m just coming to the end of 3 weeks in Carnforth just outside the Lake District.

I came up to try and finish the workbook that accompanies Love is Not a Reward – and it worked. Not only did I finish it (thanks to an extra FREE week at the Pine Lake Resort – a long story) but I’ve also started to write the play for stage that I agreed to do a year ago.

Most of the time was about the writing, but I took some time out to do a little exploring.

I loved the walks along the side of the Lancaster Canal. On the day I finished I walked the ten miles from Pine Lake to Tewitfield and back along the canal on an air of elation.

I managed to get into Morcombe a couple of times and strolled along the promenade eating ice cream, as well as frequent trips into the lovely town of Carnforth.

Sculpture of mother and child in Morcombe

Sculpture of mother and child in Morcombe

I’ve been guided by spirit on numerous occasions during the writing of Love is Not a Reward, from being told to keep the title when I was about to change it, to being guided to the colours to use on the cover – and many more pointers on the content.

Most of the guidance came through journeying and dreams, but some came through messages from mediums and fellow sitters in psychic development circles.

Boats on the Lancaster Canal

Boats on the Lancaster Canal

I set of at the beginning of this blog curious as to whether my spiritual development would influence my writing – silly to think it wouldn’t!

I feel a book about the whole experience coming on – but not until I’ve finished the play – which I guess will only add more chapters.

Both the text and workbook of Love is Not a Reward are in production at the moment and should be available by the end of August.


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Birmingham shamanic group

2014-02-14 04.56.22Having looked for and not found a shamanic group in Birmingham, I decided to start one. We’ve had one meeting so far with voice, drums and journeying. It was very healing.

There were 3 of us. Our next meeting on February 25th will have a 25% increase in participants. Yes, there will be 4 of us.

The format is that I do a little teaching session on the principles of shamanism followed by the experiential work. Last time I looked at the place and purpose of ritual.

From small acorns great oaks grow. Watch this space. Let me know if you’re interested in joining us.


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The Way of the Shaman – Journey to find my life purpose

Saturday 3rd August 2013

Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some

Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some

I’d just finished reading Malidoma Patrice Some’s book Of Water and the Spirit and was so envious that he knew what his life purpose was so early in life that I decided to do a journey to try and find mine. I’ve been asking since January to be helped to remember what it is.

I set the intention three times – ‘my intention is to journey to the lower world to meet my animal guides and to ask them to show me my life purpose.’

I felt very apprehensive as I walked to my usual axis mundi, and the journey down the roots of the tree was slow and laborious.

Both the eagle and the jaguar were waiting for me. They bowed to me as before and I told them why I’d come. I began to gibber away about what I’d been told before about being a high priestess in Egypt, about being a writer, a healer and a shaman. I rattled on for ages while they patiently listened and didn’t interrupt.

‘So can you tell me,’ I ended.

‘You said you wanted to be shown,’ jaguar reminded me.

They both looked kindly at me, before eagle flew off.

‘Where’s she going?’ I asked jaguar.

‘To keep watch,’ he replied and indicated to me to follow him.

I was expecting something akin to what I’d been reading in Malidoma’s book – some kind of initiation. We walked through a clearing, through a forest and past the mouth of a cave. All these things are in Of Water and the Spirit.

Each time I thought the jaguar was going to show me something, but he just kept on walking till we came to another much bigger clearing.

It took me a while to work out that we was standing in the middle of a massive heart. Gradually the outside of the heart filled with men of all different shapes, sizes and ages. Although of different races they were predominantly black.

‘You are to heal men my opening your heart to them,’ the jaguar said.

I wanted to scream ‘NO! NOT THAT! THAT’S TOO PAINFUL!’ I looked around at all the men and began to cry. I wasn’t just crying in the journey, I was also crying into my blindfold. I felt as if my own heart was breaking.

All I could think of was that it would mean no happiness for me – men constantly coming and going in my life. The jaguar tried to reassure me that all would be fine.

‘But what about the women?’ I asked, ‘Don’t the women need healing too?’

‘When the men are healed, the women will be healed too,’ he carried on in his soothing way. ‘The women are strong but they look to the men for leadership, they look to the men for love. The men need to heal. It’s why you came.’

All I kept thinking was, ‘what about my own happiness,’ while the jaguar went on about the importance of the men healing.

Then all the men disappeared and were replaced by prepubescent boys. My heart went out to them and I sobbed (I must find a less clichéd word) literally and figuratively. Then they were replaced by the men, then the boys. They kept interchanging.

‘How am I going to do this?’ I asked the jaguar.

‘That’s for another journey;’ he answered softly, ‘this one was about your purpose.’

‘Where’s the eagle?’ I enquired.

‘She’s gone to check out the way,’ he said before the call-back tempo made me realise how quickly 30 minutes had passed.

I was still crying when I returned, with a heaviness that made it difficult to move. It wasn’t really what I’d wanted to hear or to see. It felt (feels) like too much at too big a personal cost.


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Messages from Butterflies

Tuesday 30th July 2013

On Sunday I worked in my lounge which has a beautiful stained glass window. Throughout the whole day a white (well kind of cream really) butterfly kept my company. Well, maybe ‘kept my company’ is a little misleading; it would be more accurate to say we shared the same space. We didn’t communicate with each other. The butterfly flapped its wings manically against the window, as if trying to push through the glass, for longs periods of time, and then was still for equal lengths of time. It carried on like this all day making no attempt to leave the room or the corner it was in, even though the door was open.

On Monday morning when I did my cards a single one fell out – the butterfly.

When I went into the lounge the butterfly from the day before was still there, sitting on the window ledge. I vacuumed around it but it didn’t move.

There were lots of white butterflies in the garden, and have been there for some days, I asked it if it didn’t want to go out and join its friends, but it didn’t move or acknowledge me.

My son came to visit and I told him the saga of the previous day and the morning. He was fascinated, but could offer no explanation.

As I drove off on the hot summer day with my windows down to attend a friend’s funeral, I realised there was a white (cream) butterfly flying around in the car. It went into one of the spare pair of my shoes that was on the floor of the passenger side.

As I pulled over to call my son to tell him the butterfly flew out of the window.

Animal Spirit Guides Stephen D Farmer, PH.D.

Animal Spirit Guides
Stephen D Farmer, PH.D.

Today the one in the lounge is still there, so I looked up the meaning of butterfly again. I knew they meant big changes but wondered if there was something else I was missing.

Here’s what Stephen Farmer’s book  Animal Spirit Guides says:

If BUTTERFLY shows up it means:

  • Lighten up and stop taking everything so seriously.
  • Get ready for a big change, one where an old habit, way of thinking, or lifestyle is going out, and a new way of being is emerging.
  • It’s time to make the changes you’ve been considering.
  • In spite of the challenges, you’ll get through this transition, and as always, you know that ‘this too shall pass.’
  • Express yourself by wearing more colourful clothing.

I read the meanings to a friend and joked about the fact that I was wearing cream and black – hardly the most colourful of clothes. She suggested that I should speak to the butterfly and ask it what message(s) it had for me.

Oh yes, I became Mrs Doolittle. I spoke to the butterfly as it sat motionless on the window, as it had done for hours.

‘What’s with all the flapping and all the hanging around?’ I asked casually.

As if in answer it began flapping around, not as frenetically as on Sunday, but definitely flapping. When it opened its wings I noticed the black markings on the outside. It wasn’t just cream, it was black and cream. We matched! Not all butterflies are colourful. Then it was still again. Then another little flap, and a longer spell of stillness.

Then I swear it said to me, ‘I was a pupa before I became a butterfly, learn to be still. At the moment you need more stillness than activity. Be still.’

Have I officially flipped???


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The Way of the Shaman – Eagles and Jaguars

Journey to find the significance of the Jaguar and Eagle in my life.

Monday 29th July 2013

Yesterday I got a reply to the blog Way of the Shaman – Power Animal Retrieval. Sandra asked whether I was aware that ‘The Jaguars’ and ‘The Eagles’ were names given to elite warriors in the Aztec army.

I wasn’t, but Googled it, and sure enough my animal teachers were the noble and elite warriors of that ancient civilization.

Now, this was a little disconcerting because I have no wish to go into battle over anything. Not voluntarily anyway. In fact my whole focus of the moment is towards peace, inner and outer.

I was so rattled by this that I decided to do a shamanic journey to find the answer. This is what happened.

I journey to the lower world through my usual axis mundi, the tree in my front of my house. As I entered the lower world my teacher, the jaguar, was waiting for me. I told him why I’d come.

He contemplated for a little while with his head down. I’m getting used to his ways now. He seems to take his time to consider how best to work with me.

When he raised his head a big round boulder had materialise beside me.

‘Sit down,’ he said softly.

I did as I was told and he sat opposite me.

‘You need to learn to breathe like a jaguar’ he continued in his soft voice. ‘You need to learn how to rest properly and be ready for action when necessary. When you get back look up how jaguars breathe.’

We sat for a while, both of us breathing deeply.

‘Why do I need to be ready for action?’ I asked, remembering the warrior link.

He showed me a crowd of people, thousands of heads, like when the spotlight washes over the crowd at a concert.

‘What are they doing?’ I asked perplexed.

He didn’t answer for a while, and then in a voice I could just about hear he said, ‘you’ll touch them all in some way.’

I was about to ask another question but he indicated that I should get back to the deep breathing. He kept reiterating how important it was for me to learn to breathe properly, to relax, and to be prepared.

After what seemed like a long time I asked him why I hadn’t seen the eagle since the course. Almost as soon as the question left my lips the eagle appeared beside him. She was almost the same size as him.

She bowed her head to me, then the jaguar did too, then they both bowed together. I bowed back.

We sat looking at each other in silence for a while before the eagle reached out her right wing and gently, as if I was a baby, stroked the left side of my face. Looking deeply into my eyes she stroked my right cheek with her left wing before enveloping me in both wings.

She felt tender and soft and I could have happily stayed in her embrace forever. It was then I felt the jaguar put his arms around us in a group hug. I felt safe and protected and very reluctant to leave as the music changed to the call back tempo and I made my way back up the tree roots into my room.

The message about relaxing made a lot of sense to me as I’ve been flying around like a mad thing recently. It was interesting, when I reflected on the experience, that I had gone on a journey to meditate, because that is clearly what I’d done for most of the time. This message was reiterated with an experience I had with butterflies. See blog Messages from butterflies.

Touching many people? Yes, that makes sense too, because words can do that. It doesn’t mean I have to personally meet with thousands of people.

But I’m still not clear why specifically a jaguar and an eagle. I looked up how jaguars breathe but couldn’t find anything.

I’d be happy to hear your take on any of it.


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The Way of the Shaman – Power Animal Retrieval – Page 9

This was the last exercise of the course and the only one that was optional. By now I was beginning to feel the effects of the lack of sleep.

Essentially it was to give us a chance to experience what Simon and Martha had just done for the two participants in the healing canoe.

The exercise involved journeying to the lower world to see if there was a power animal that once worked with your partner who wanted to return and help.

The instructions were these.

Go to the lower world

Meet the animal at least three times

Gather the energy of the animal and bring it back

Place the energy into the client at the heart and head

Ensure the energy filled up the whole body

Use the rattle all around the body to seal in the energy

Do NOT bring back snakes, reptiles dripping venom, or insects of any kind

As before we would take it in turns. I decided to go first.

My partner lay down on his ample cushion and I made sure a part of me was touching him as instructed.

As the drumming began I set the intention for the journey:

‘I intend to journey to the lower world to see if there was a power animal that was once with my client that wishes to return to help in their life’

I went down the tree roots again and met the jaguar as before. By now we had built a great relationship and after the bear rug incident I trusted him completely.

I asked if he could take me to an animal that used to work with my client. Immediately he showed me, through an opening, a gazelle.

‘Is that it?’ I asked the jaguar.

‘Why don’t you ask it?’ he said as the gazelle made its way over to us.

‘Are you the power animal for my client?’

It nodded and ran off playfully.

‘I need to see it three times,’ I told he jaguar.

‘I know,’ he said knowingly, then proceeded to show me the gazelle through two other openings as we walked along. These openings just seem to appear out of nowhere, and the gazelle was there.

It came willingly to have its energy gathered up, and I had to stretch my arms up, down and sideways to make sure I’d gathered it all. I could imagine how ridiculous I must look to someone who wasn’t aware of what I was doing.

Once I had it all gathered up I thanked the jaguar who had simply looked on, and told him I had to return. On this occasion Simon had said we didn’t have to wait for the call back if we were finished before.

I made my way back to the tree root and, with the gazelle’s energy gathered closely to my chest wondered how I was going to get back up the roots without losing it. I felt something hook into my braids and began to winch me up the roots.

I carefully placed the energy on my partner’s chest and blew hard to make sure it entered his body. Then, as instructed, I blew the remnants into his head.

I found the rattle and when I was satisfied that it had filled up his body sealed it in by shaking the rattle all around him. I saw other people doing the same thing and realised how odd we would look to a passerby.

During the feedback my partner said he could feel the energy enter his body, and wasn’t surprised that his animal was a gazelle, as all his animals were playful ones.

When we did the switch over I lay down and totally went with the instruction that all I had to do was wait and receive. Happy days, no more work. I was drifting into the beat of the drum when I felt my partner’s hands on my chest. As he blew a wave of energy shot through me causing minor tremors at first which soon became convulsions. The drumming became louder and more intense and the convulsions became more frequent and pronounced. I was being totally energised, shot through with something invisible that revived me so that when the drumming reached a crescendo I was fully charged and ready to run a marathon.

At the feedback my partner said my animal was a massive eagle who was virtually chomping at the bit to get back to me. Its energy was so powerful he struggled to bring it back, but he was pretty confident that he blew all of it into my body.

During the final large group feedback I received two profound pieces of information.

1)      One of the women said she had an intense sexual experience. At last! Someone else who admits to this. I spoke to her later. She said, ‘use it; it’s a gift’ but that I should journey on the most appropriate way to use the gift.

2)      One person said she’d been told once that her illness was caused by evil spirits, and wondered whether we risk putting evil spirit into someone in this exercise. She said a shaman had removed the evil spirit and her condition got better.

Simon said nothing was created evil. What we perceive as evil spirits are things that are in the wrong place. The shaman’s job is to remove it and put it back in its rightful place.

I was trying to explain this to a friend and used the analogy of mint. It’s a very useful plant, but left to its own devices it will overtake any space in which it’s planted. It will kill off other plants in its way. That doesn’t make the mint evil. If it’s contained in its proper place it’s simply a useful plant.

Some gardeners say ‘a weed is only a flower growing in the wrong place.’

Viruses in their own habitat are not harmful, but they are when they inhabit human bodies.

This was extremely reassuring for me, and I left feeling spiritually replenished and with a lot more knowledge.

I’d totally recommend this course. I’m really looking forward to doing the advanced course on soul retrieval.

The Amadeus Centre, West London

The Amadeus Centre, West London