Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery


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Session 32 – Mediumship – being in the middle

May 30th 2013 (Thursday)

We were a diminished group of just six women two men, on account of it being half-term week. Greg explained that we would be focusing on three things:

  1. Getting a connection
  2. Validation
  3. Giving a message.

He demonstrated what he meant by choosing to work with Meg.

‘I have a flat cap,’ he said, ‘a grey sort of check flat cap. Does this mean anything to you?’

‘Possibly,’ said Meg a little hesitantly.

‘OK, let me see what else I can get,’ he continued. ‘I have a brown coat.’

Meg was nodding slowly – and nodded more vigorously as Greg said, ‘It’s a very old

and worn coat.’

She was a little puzzled by the ‘trousers hanging over the belt’, but nigh on lit up at

the ‘bald head.’ That had firmly pointed to the spirit of her grandfather.

Purple Heather

Purple Heather

‘They were stages one and two,’ Greg said. I got a connection and I got Meg to validate that it’s someone she knows. Now I need to complete stage three, i.e. get a message, because if a spirit has made itself known it will usually have a message for the person.’

He concentrated for a while then said, ‘I see you looking at two sets of paper at a table and shaking your head as though the two don’t match, like something don’t quite add up.’

Again Meg looked puzzled, but eventually linked it to some family history work she was doing. The message was eeked out in bits and pieces, each time a little more being given till the full thing unfolded as, ‘there is an illegitimate male in the family which is not recorded. Someone in the family knows who it is, ask around and put the record straight.’

This all made sense to Meg, and was the clearest explanation and demonstration I’d been given in the circle about how to interpret the images and how to keep asking spirit for clarification and explanation until the message is given.

It seem daft given the number of sessions I’ve attended, but tonight was the first time I really understood that it’s not just about receiving random images and asking the person if they could ‘take’ the images. Communicating with the spirit of those who have passed has purpose. It is to help and guide those who are still here.

‘So now you’ve seen how it’s done, it’s your turn to have a go now,’ Greg said. ‘Focus on someone you feel drawn to and try and make a connection. It doesn’t matter whether you get a message at this stage, if you do great, if not, that’s fine. We can do this in stages.’

I was drawn to Tina, the lady opposite me. I saw a tall slim and very attractive lady with long blonde straight hair in party clothes and dancing shoes who looked like she was dancing. That’s all I got for a while, then I saw her holding and rocking a baby but not looking too happy about doing so. Then I saw a cake, like a birthday cake and the number 86, and got the names Ada, Linda and Brenda.

As soon as I started to describe the woman Tina recognised her as a grandmother. She understood the party clothes, dancing shoes and especially the cake. She seemed a little disappointed that her grandmother didn’t want to rock the baby, and the 86 didn’t mean anything to her.

‘So you’ve made a connection and got validation,’ Greg interjected, ‘now try and get a message.’

Although I’ve previously got the impression I needed to tell Tina to get her dancing shoes on, I sat quietly and listened with closed eyes to see if I’d get anything else. To my mind what I got was quite a bland message, ‘do more for yourself, stop taking yourself so seriously, lighten up and little and get out more,’ but it made absolute sense to Tina.

She explained that since the birth of her baby she’d been so focused on daughter that she’d not really done anything for herself. (It was only later that I recognised the significance of the grandmother not wanting to rock the baby – don’t let the baby take over she was saying.)

Other people had varying levels of success. One person got a message for another member of her family, for him to go and get a health check. Only one person didn’t get anything from the process.

The person who had focused on me got a message from a great grandfather who wanted me to know that he’s with me and helping me to live the essence of my name (which means wisdom).

During the question and answer session at the end I asked about what to do with the other information if the person validates quite quickly. In Tina’s case I didn’t bother to use the names, or to go any further with the 86.

Greg said all the information need to be given (incidentally Tina could take both Linda and Brenda). Each piece of information needs to be interrogated until the message of the image is clear. Well, I will know for next time.

For the first time tonight I felt like I’d given a reading as a medium. It felt strange to know that I had actually connected with the spirit of someone who had lived and was able to be a mouthpiece for her.

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Shamanic link

At 2.15 p.m. on Saturday I received a text from my friend Stephe.

‘Hi, what’s your eta? Paul and Demi are here?’

I was about to reply pointing out that he’d sent the text to the wrong person, when a bottom drawer in my memory filing cabinet creaked open to remind me that I’d agreed to meet Stephe for lunch and a walk around Winterbourne Botanical Gardens in Edgbaston at 2 p.m.

Bluebell field at Winterbourne Gardens

Bluebell field at Winterbourne Gardens

What to do? Lie and say I was held up in traffic? Call and say I couldn’t make it (sure I could think up a reason)? Pretend I’d written it in the wrong week in my diary – thought it was next week?

I was happy to be distracted from the clutter clearing I’d embarked on for the day, so donning my jacket and a pair of boots I called, confessed, and said I’d be there in twenty five minutes. I shaved five minutes off the eight and a half mile journey, and was pleased to meet Paul, an old friend, and his new girlfriend Demi.

During lunch (had I remembered I wouldn’t have eaten a big bowl of cornmeal porridge two hours earlier) I watched as the three of them ate, and we talked about many things. One being the Darren Eden personal development course Demi is engaged in.

In describing some of the changes that are happening for her she said, ‘sometimes it’s like I get into this place, like nothing exists, like I’m going on a shamanic journey.’

‘Have you ever been on a shamanic journey,’ I asked quickly.

‘No, but my grandfather was a shaman, and on this course, where we’re meant to find out what our purpose is, its coming out that I’m here to do healing, like maybe shamanic healing.’

I know I write a lot about my jaw dropping but this time it went quicker and further than usual. Demi is from Nigeria, very closely bordered to Cameroon, but has been brought up mainly in the UK. She knew nothing of the mediumship work that I’ve been doing (they’ve never read my blog), and had appeared a little reticent about mentioning her shamanic heritage.

Surely this could not be an accidental meeting – of course there are no accidental meetings, but I’m becoming increasingly impressed by the way spirit arranges things.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, Demi and I have arranged to meet up in London where she lives; hopefully on the day when I go to visit Brompton Cemetery. I’d like to learn more about African shamanism and there may be a link here that will help me to increase my knowledge.

If there’s anyone who practices African shamanism I’d love to hear from you.


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Session 17 – Spirits in the shed

March 4th 2013 (Monday)

Tim’s back from his hols, on time and eager to share his pictures, his news and his tan. We arrived in time to find our seats taken by two new people, a young man and a young woman. The centre of the room was occupied with a beautiful display of flowers, candles and crystals. It looked beautiful and an air of excitement was already building.

PICT2186 As we settled into place Mary announce that Zoe would be taking the circle. We didn’t quite whoop, but were all very pleased. This would partly leave Mary free to attend to a new puppy she’s caring for till he can be found a new home. As he was scratching at the door we decided to bring him into the room.

We were only a couple of minutes into the opening prayer when he vomited on the carpet. I shan’t bore you with all the gory details but just suffice to say that it seemed to be coming out of both ends of him, and as he kept moving around he was leaving a trail which Mary was struggling to keep on top of.

It became obvious, even after liberal sprays of Febreeze, that we couldn’t work in the room. But there was an alternative. At the end of the garden at Oak House is a purpose built meditation shed. It would need a bit of heating but the general consensus was that we decanted down there instead. I had often seen it from the window but never really thought about it as a meditation space.

PICT2188  It was decorated inside with pictures of Native Americans, dream-catchers, and other totems, with chairs already laid out in a circle. It took only ten minutes with a couple of very efficient heaters to get it warm enough for us to re-convene. Without Mary, who decided she would stay and attend to the ailing puppy, we began with a prayer for its healing.

The focus of the session was to concentrate on each of the seven of us in turn to get message from spirit for a) our spiritual development and b) our everyday life.

It must be a measure of the frequency of my participation in these groups that I’m much more relaxed about accepting what comes into my head; skiing in Mount Blanc, a motor bike, one member putting down a crutch and walking away from it, another dressing up in a blonde wig while still another reaching for the salt to add to her meal then changing her mind. All of these things meant something to the people for whom I’d got the messages.

The messages I was given all centred around writing, having more fun, and being protected by spirit. One in particular saw me with a shield against which toy arrows were being aimed, but were just bouncing off. As this was related to writing I took it to mean that I’d be able to cope with any criticism of my work. This was an important message for me because I really struggled with one of the stories I had to write last week. At the back of my head was the thought of how it would be received by my community, some of whom could well see me as naive at best and a traitor at worst.

Unfortunately, given the late start and the individual nature of the messages, we ran out of time for Zoe to do another trance demonstration. I was really hoping for this, as she says sometimes when its dark enough people have actually seen the guide overlaid over her face. We had the right lighting conditions but alas no demonstration.

The two new people are very experienced, and I do hope they keep coming.

And the puppy? Apparently he’d eaten a whole tub of fish food that had fallen onto the floor. He was fine once it had all come out.


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Session 16 – More trance and Story Cubes

February 28th 2013 (Thursday)

I was very early tonight and had a chance to have a chat with Greg before the others arrived. I wanted to share with him the sensation I have when I sit down to write; when I sit staring at the flipchart paper on which I’ve sketched a story, or the pieces of paper on which I’ve sketched characters. How I can stare at them for ages before I make a connection with the characters. Usually the first characters I get are the ones in whose voices the story will be told.

First flowers coming through in Rookery Park

First flowers coming through in Rookery Park

It’s exactly the same feeling I get in meditation when I connect with the energy of the group, or when I drop into the timeless zone of spirit. Once I get that feeling I know the words will flow, and very often they will flow in a way I hadn’t planned. He said I’m quite possibly connecting with the spirits whose story I’m telling. There’s resonance in this for me.

By the time everyone had arrived there were two new women. One who visited the Monday circle once, and an Asian woman invited by the black one who came last week. Interestingly, apart from Greg all eleven of us were women. He welcomed everyone and announced that Ann would be joining us later for a trance demonstration.

‘We’ll begin with a meditation to get us nice and relaxed.’ He said.

With closed eyes he instructed us to breathe deeply.

‘There’s a ball of light above your head,’ he said. ‘Bring the ball of light down through your body, lighting every cell. Ask your guides known and new to draw close.’

As he said this I felt a wave of cold spread from my toes up to my thighs. This despite the fact I was sitting as close as it’s possible to get to the radiator and was perfectly warm and toasty prior to that. In my head I silently asked my guides if they wouldn’t mind bringing a bit of heat with them. Not one of them responded, and I remained cold throughout the whole session. I sat with my jacket draped over my legs.

During the feedback when I told the group of my experience, Greg said most people first experience the presence of spirit as cold on their legs. I made a mental note.

About half the group had great images and messages from their guides, the other half just felt relaxed.

Our activity for the night was using story cubes to give readings. Story cubes are small dice shaped cubes with pictures etched into each face. There are nine of them in the pack, and they’re used to develop creative writing and story telling.

Greg demonstrated how to use them to give a reading. For speed he used only three of the cubes. It’s very similar to doing a three card reading. We then had to work in pairs to do readings for each other.

My three pictures were a book, a magnifying glass and a symbol that my partner initially thought were the wings of a mythical bird. She thought the meaning was that I should look into writing Harry Potter type books. The magnifying glass could also mean looking deeply within, self-examination. It all made sense. So too did the alternative interpretation when Greg pointed out that the wings were actually a fire.

One of the symbolism of fire is purification. In the morning I’d got yellow from my colour set of cards =  purify the body, and the frog from the animal set = purification. Purification of the body’s been a consistent message for weeks now. So much so that I’ve changed my diet, become vegetarian, and now working toward being vegan. I say working toward because I found myself buying a bag of Thornton’s Special Toffee the other day. And they were soooo delicious.

Anyway, back to the circle. I then did a reading for my partner. She had a bee, a sheep, and what looked like a jester with a small child on the end of one of his feet. I interpreted it as needing more sweetness in life (bees=honey) and not being afraid to go out on a limb with a project (don’t be a sheep), that she’d probably be getting a gentle push to go out there (jester kicking child away). The project thing resonated with her.

I instantly saw a use for these cubes in international creative writing workshops, and ordered a set as soon as I got home. There’s a big assumption here that I’m going to be running such workshops. You read it here first.

Next we had Ann do a trance demonstration for us. I was sitting next to her, and although I had my eyes closed I felt a surge of energy as her guide arrived.

Now, I’m conscious here that in a few short weeks I’m saying things that were just a mystery to me not so long ago – surges of energy indeed.

Anyway, her guide’s message was very similar in nature to his others. He thanked us for being willing to work with spirit, encouraged us to meditate often and aim to live an honest and authentic life. He told us that we are spiritual being in a body, that we should care for it, but know that when we’ve learned all we need to in this incarnation, it will fall away. What’s important while we’re here is to take the lessons from every situation we encounter, good or bad. It’s all of our creation to learn the lessons we came for.

When she’d finished we had a discussion about the different levels of trance which range from very light trance where the medium is aware of what is being said, to the medium allowing his/her body to be totally taken over by spirit and as such is not at all aware of what is being said or done to them. In some cases they can be so deep in trance that if you stuck pins in them they wouldn’t feel it. Oak House once had such a practitioner, and there are many tales told about him.

The issue of whether ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ spirits could take over the body in such a state came up. Again there were two schools of thought, those that think yes and those that think no. Greg explained that like attract like, if you remain positive you will only attract positive spirits. I added my two pennies worth by saying I believe that the best form of protection is working in the energy of love. Nothing negative can permeate it.

Our final exercise was to get messages for someone in the room. As I focused on the person I was tying to get a message for I got a tingling in my ear, then saw green fields, and the words ‘make your decision from the heart’ popped into my head. Again there was a high level of accuracy during the feedback session.

When I checked with the person that  I’d got the message for if she’d got issues with her ears she nodded vigorously, even touched the same side of her ear as my tingling one. She didn’t know what I meant by ‘make a decision from the heart’ and decided she needed to think about the green fields some more as someone else had also seen that for her.

Interestingly, no one got any messages for me. Only two of us didn’t get messages while some got multiples.

In all honesty things have been moving so quickly it was a relief to have nothing extra to go home with tonight.


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Zoe and me at home

Zoe, the trance specialist from the Monday circle, came to see me for a spot of public speaking coaching. This was in response to the many messages she’s received about doing platform work.

Crotons. Just wanted to brighten up this post on a cold and grey day.

Crotons. Just wanted to brighten up this post on a cold and grey day.

On entering my lounge she said it reminded her of one in the home of a specialist surgeon she’d been to visit some years ago, and suggested that maybe I was going to become a specialist in something.

In the course of the hour, in which we looked at physical and vocal presentation, we also exchanged some details about our respective journeys that lead to our meeting a few weeks ago. About half an hour into the session she looked at me and said, ‘I’ve just seen a picture of a globe. You’re holding it in your hands.’

‘Oh my God!’ I said taken aback, ‘that’s the third time.’

‘What’s the third time?’ she enquired.

‘That I’ve been told about a globe.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. Once in November in a reading, and on Monday in the reading with Mike. Both times a woman was holding a globe.’

‘Well, well, well,’ she said, ‘and here it is again. Only it’s not just an ordinary globe. It’s one of those with a light inside. It’s like your lighting up the world.’

That’s when she told me she’d been told that she’d be travelling the world and jokingly said, ‘maybe we’ll be doing it together.’

I told her about my thoughts on trance mediumship, and she offered to help me with understanding symbolism. In return I offered to help her put a book together of her extraordinary journey so far, and told her that she reminded me of Betty Shine. She’d never heard of Betty Shine but pondered on the fact she has a sister called Betty. I said, (getting into the swing of things), that maybe her sister was telling her to shine her light from the platform.

It’s only as I write this, nearly twenty four hours later, that it’s suddenly occurred to me that I too have a sister called Betty, and maybe she too could be telling me to shine my light across the world. Yes, I’ve laughed out loud. Oh how we can’t often see our own messages. I’m more than ever understanding that the messages come in a whole variety of ways, which is why understanding symbolism is so important.

I have a feeling Zoe and I will be doing more work together. She’s even suggested that we attend a course at ArthurFindlayCollege. Now THAT would be a step in a very definite direction.


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Session 13 The difference between working psychically and working spiritually

February 18th 2013 (Monday)

I went into today’s session sky high as I’d just had a most amazing private reading from Mike, a visiting medium from Wales. I took the opportunity to have a full reading after attending one of his psychic suppers in December.

He was also invited to lead our circle, and after an initial meditation talked to us about the difference between working psychically and working spiritually.

Our meditation was meant to help us relax and he asked us to concentrate on something we found beautiful.I went to my favourit

Miami Beach (Also known as Enterprise Beach) Barbados

Miami Beach (Also known as Enterprise Beach) Barbados

e beach (Miami Beach) in Barbados and began walking the length of it, listening to and watching the waves. As I neared the end of the beach a huge sand coloured man came toward me. He was about twice my height, almost as broad and towered above me. As I looked up at him he scooped my up, swung me round and hoisted me onto his shoulder. I had a very different view of the beach from up there.

Then walking through a cane field in Jamaica with and older woman. She was fast, very determined and a large black dog ran at her heels. She carried something in her right hand, a machete or stick. We came through the fields to a large clearing and she just stood and looked around with both hands on her hips. I looked on with her. Then I remembered I was supposed to be relaxing and returned to the beach (minus sand-man). Not long after Mike brought us back.

I thought perhaps the woman was my grandmother, the one Mike had told me about earlier in the reading. He said she was a very strong woman and her strength was coming through me, but I couldn’t make sense of who the man on the beach was.

Mike then asked us to work in pairs psychically. Essentially we were to use only what we could make out about our partner using our senses, not using messages from spirit. He explained that everyone has psychic abilities but some have developed it and use it more than others. We all get a vibe from a person, place or thing. That ‘vibe’ is one or more of our senses tuning in to the energy of the person place or thing.

Most of us can tell if a person is sad or happy; if they’re trying to hide something, if they’re putting a brave face on something. This is psychic ability. Most of us in the circle, once we understood what was required, achieved some degree of accuracy with our partners, some were very accurate. The person and worked with was very accurate about me and me about her, others less so. One member of the group went beyond the psychic and gave many messages from spirit to Mike and to a lesser extent Mary.

I queried why she hadn’t worked psychically. Mike said sometimes spirit has urgency and will connect very quickly, especially if we are very attuned.

There then followed a long discussion about the rules and regulations of the National Spiritualist Union (NSU) and whether its acceptable to deliver messages psychically from the platform or whether it must always and only be spiritually.

It’s not my intention to become a platform medium and give readings in churches, so much of this probably won’t apply to me. I believe my connection with spirit is to do with my writing. Interesting, given the name of the blog, that I’ve written so little about my writing.

The reason is that I’ve been so involved with the psychic development that I haven’t been writing as much as I should. My characters are feeling very neglected. My two thousand words a day have been very intermittent.

One of the cards in my reading yesterday was ‘ask for what you want.’ I guess I’m going to have to ask spirit to re-connect me in a more meaningful way with writing the books.

Maybe I’ll give a running commentary on how well I’ve done with my writing from one session to the next. I need to be held accountable. Anyone prepared to do that for me?

Also, anyone fancy giving an opinion on the sand-man I’d be happy to hear it.


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Session 11 – Trance, trance and more guides

February 11th 2013 (Monday)

I’ll cut to the chase. No preamble about Tim’s lateness or my mental note to drive next week.

Candles, crystals and charaks

Candles, crystals and chakras

Zoe was back, and she facilitated the circle. She’d laid out a large purple cloth on which were candles, crystals and seven pieces of paper representing the chakras. After the opening prayer she explained that we would be contacting our guides though meditation and later doing some work with photographs.

The instruction was to meditate for fifteen minutes with the intention of contacting our guides. She explained for Tim’s sake how to open up the chakras, and, to the sound of quiet music we invited our guides to draw near.

I got nothing. No one even came close. No little old lady, no Native American, no ancient African warrior. Not a bean, nil, zero, zilch. Other people got stuff. Either discovered new guides or reconnected with their established ones. Even Tim got someone who he thought could be a guide.

In the following meditation she asked us to think about someone in the group we would like to get a message for, and also to be aware that our guides often speak to us through an intermediary. At that instant my phone which I’d put on silent began to vibrate. I made a mental note to check who it was when the meditation finished. She also asked us to open our eyes when we got something.

I set the intention to get a message for Sam who was sitting opposite me. Well, I must have been there for ten whole minutes getting absolutely nothing, when my mind began drifting to the magenta card I’d got earlier, and I was reflecting on how often I pull it, or it fell out the pack at me. Then the name Petra popped into my head and I focused on it for a while, happy that at least that something had come that had nothing to do with me, as I don’t know a Petra. I went back to focusing on the magenta card and had a vague sense of something to do sleeplessness, but no more guidance than that.

I was still waiting for something profound to happen when Zoe asked me to open my eyes, and I realised that everyone else had already opened theirs. I felt like the dunce in the class. When it came to feedback time she skipped over me as we went round the circle. People got amazing messages for each other. Incidentally no-one got a message for me. She came back to me last.

‘Well, I didn’t really get much.’ I hesitated.

‘I guessed as much as you didn’t open your eyes. That’s why I left you till last,’ she admitted, deepening my sense of uselessness.

‘Did you get anything at all?’

‘I got the name Petra.’ I said, hoping someone would leap up and say, ‘I can take that,’ and tell some fantastic story associated with the name. But everyone just looked at me blankly.

‘I also kept getting a lot of magenta,’ I said, and scanned the group for a take up. Again nothing. I didn’t add that what I was actually seeing wasn’t diffused magenta like some others have described, but specifically the card from the pack which also has the words ‘connect to you deepest inner knowing’ written on it.

I was losing confidence rapidly by now and muttered something about lack of sleep’. Zoe was about to move on when from out of nowhere I turned to Sam and said, ‘Have you been having difficulty sleeping?’

BINGO!

‘I have terrible trouble sleeping,’ he said. ‘Either I can’t get to sleep or I wake up in the early hours of the morning and can’t go back to sleep.’

‘What do you do when that happens?’ I asked, like I was some expert on insomnia.

‘Make a drink of coffee,’ he answered to horrified gasps, ‘or I read a book or watch a bit of tele.’

Once we got past the general advice from everyone about how bad coffee is if you want to sleep, I heard myself telling him that what spirit wants him to do is meditate. That the reason he can’t sleep is because he needs to go and connect with his inner guidance, his inner knowing.’

‘I’m terrible at meditating,’ he protested.

‘How about if you re-phrase that and say ‘I’m improving my meditating skills every day?’ I asked, recognising that he was perpetuating an unhelpful view of himself and therefore keeping himself there.

‘But I can’t do anymore than about five minutes when I’m on my own,’ he insisgted.

‘Well, that’s a start. If the next time you do six minutes you have improved. Congratulate yourself and affirm that you’re improving all the time.’

‘See, you did get something after all.’ Mary said, and I relaxed a little.

As Zoe began to explain about how to read from photographs I sat back and marvelled at the way spirit works. I had all but convinced myself that what I was picking up was useless bits of information and when it hadn’t made sense I was prepared to discard it. I guess that’s how some mediums must feel when they ask a sitter if something makes sense and they say ‘no’.

The photo reading exercise was of a real live couple. We were initially given no more than that. The photo was passed around and we were asked to ‘tune in’ and using all our senses try to pick up anything we could from the picture about the two people.

Some people picked up that the man was ill, which Mary confirmed. Others elaborated on the extent of his illness and made suggestions on how long he had to live, still others talked about the lack of closeness between the two, some talked about their characters and the way if affects their relationship. Tim is a natural at this, and seems to have the confidence to say what he’s picking up, usually prefixed with ‘I’m new to all this…’

After about six people had had a go, Mary (who was acting as a participant as Zoe was running the circle) asked us to think about the future for the woman.

I was last but one to get the photo. As soon as I held it I got a strong pulsing pain in the front of my head. My throat became very tight and tickly and I had to reach for a glass of water to soothe the coughs that were bubbling up.

‘Does this woman suffer from headaches?’ I asked.

‘She used to suffer from terrible migraines.’ Mary answered, ‘but not any more.’

I knew intuitively that the pain in my head wasn’t associated with the past. It was definitely located in the future as that’s what Mary had asked us to think about.

‘I think when the man dies her migraines will return, but they won’t be as prolonged as previously. She will get them under control reasonably quickly, but they will be very intense for a while.’

My attention moved to my throat, and I knew that there was creativity she’s been suppressing that will find an outlet when the man dies. I already knew she was a painter from information that came out earlier, but the word writer came into my head. I wanted to say she will write, but I wondered weather I was thinking that because I’m a writer, so I asked instead, ‘Is there something she wants to do creatively that she’s not doing now?’

‘Well, she wants to try her hand at singing,’ Mary said.

‘That’s it,’ I said eagerly, relieved that I’d got something else right.

‘But what she really wants to do is to write,’ she added.

I couldn’t believe it. Why didn’t I go with what I got? Why do I keep censoring it? I shared my original thought and asked the question out loud.

‘Why do I censor?’

‘Because you don’t trust it yet,’ Zoe suggested, ‘at the moment you still think its you, and nobody wants to make a fool of themselves. But that’s what the circle is here for. To help you build your confidence. It will come with practice.’

We closed with another trance demonstration from Zoe. Again the altered breathing, the turkey neck movements and the same male voice as last time, slow, measured, precise. He thanked us again for agreeing to help in this way and warned us about the dangers of going off too quickly before our skills are properly developed. He said there is much healing that we can do but that humility and patience are vital qualities to enable us to serve safely.

And the person who had called me during the meditation was… my husband.