psychic readings | Writing Creatively With Spirit

July 3, 2014
by predencia 2 Comments

Loving it by the lake

I’m just coming to the end of 3 weeks in Carnforth just outside the Lake District.

I came up to try and finish the workbook that accompanies Love is Not a Reward – and it worked. Not only did I finish it (thanks to an extra FREE week at the Pine Lake Resort – a long story) but I’ve also started to write the play for stage that I agreed to do a year ago.

Most of the time was about the writing, but I took some time out to do a little exploring.

I loved the walks along the side of the Lancaster Canal. On the day I finished I walked the ten miles from Pine Lake to Tewitfield and back along the canal on an air of elation.

I managed to get into Morcombe a couple of times and strolled along the promenade eating ice cream, as well as frequent trips into the lovely town of Carnforth.

Sculpture of mother and child in Morcombe

I’ve been guided by spirit on numerous occasions during the writing of Love is Not a Reward, from being told to keep the title when I was about to change it, to being guided to the colours to use on the cover – and many more pointers on the content.

Most of the guidance came through journeying and dreams, but some came through messages from mediums and fellow sitters in psychic development circles.

Boats on the Lancaster Canal

I set of at the beginning of this blog curious as to whether my spiritual development would influence my writing – silly to think it wouldn’t!

I feel a book about the whole experience coming on – but not until I’ve finished the play – which I guess will only add more chapters.

Both the text and workbook of Love is Not a Reward are in production at the moment and should be available by the end of August.

February 23, 2014
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An evening with Gordon Smith

Sunday 23^rd February 2014

From the excellence of Moon on a Rainbow Shawl I moved almost seamlessly to an amazing evening with Gordon Smith – psychic medium extraordinaire.

I was spellbound (excuse the pun) by his accuracy. None of my ancestors or dear departed friends wanted to speak to me, but it was a delight to witness this man deliver messages that prove the existence of a spirit world in such an entertaining way.

I left with renewed commitment to remembering my ancestors in my daily life. Check out Gordon Smith here, he may be in your area soon.

January 10, 2014
by predencia 1 Comment

One year on

10^th January 2014

An idea lives on

One year ago today (10^th January 2013) I started this blog to share with others the strange phenomena that had happened with my second novel, (i.e. things I’d written about started to happen in real life) see below and also see about. I wanted to see whether engaging in psychic development would have any noticeable effect on my future writing.

It has been an amazing year.

Crystal ball

Circles – I began going to psychic development circles on Mondays and Thursdays. The Monday classes were focused more on using tools such as cards, crystal balls etc to give messages. The Thursday classes focused more on connecting directly with spirit (mediumship) in order to give messages.

I had many fantastic experiences. I realised that I could give messages using just about anything from cards, crystal balls, photographs, coloured ribbon, to plant leaves, flowers and scrunched up bits of paper. I learned that these things are just props, something to focus on until the connection with spirit is so strong that you don’t need them anymore. In the Thursday sessions I built my connection and learned how to do it without the props.

I was given many amazing messages from others in these sessions. I also learned that a trained and experienced circle leader can see inside your meditation. It was in one of these sessions that I was directed to look more closely at the Maroons in Jamaica. Several messages from different people lead me to push past my fear and explore shamanism. I first met one of my animal teachers at a Thursday circle.

The Amadeus Centre, West London

Shamanism – My exploration of shamanism took me to a workshop at the Amadeus in London in June. It was called The Way of the Shaman. It was incredibly intense and I came away knowing that shamanism was the spiritual path for me. It lead to a new category of the blog by the same name.

Earl Purdy and me at A Course in Miracles Conference – awesome man

Workshops – In between the circles and the shamanic workshop I attended a number of other developmental workshop. These are recorded under Developmental Events.

Dreams – Once I began the circles my dreams became much more active and in some cases predictive. Many of these are recorded under Dreams. I was incredibly grateful to everyone who made suggestions on how to interpret them.

Graves at Brompton Cemetry

Stepping stones – Sometimes things would happen that didn’t fit into any of the categories. Things like seeing things flash before my eyes, or hearing voices that instructed me to do certain things (am I scaring you now?) like when I was told about Tom Seligman. The information lead me to more information for the research for the book I was writing. Another lead me to West Brompton Cemetery in London.

Countdown to Cameroon – From the research I developed a curiosity about my African ancestry. I took a DNA test which showed that my ancestors were from Cameroon. In October I set off to find them and had an adventure that surpassed all my expectation.

African Ancestry DNA kit

Writing – And what about the writing? As well as the many thousands of words of blogging I wrote two more books.

The first, Never on Sunday was published as an ebook in August and in December in hard copy. Both are available from Amazon.

Never on Sunday by Penny Dixon

The second book, Love is Not a Reward is current out to readers for comment. The ones I’ve received so far are favourable. This is the one that’s linked to the parenting course that I’ve been writing for the polytechnic in Barbados. It’s due out in about three months time.

It wasn’t all hard work in Barbados

So has the experiment worked? Did the psychic development influence my writing? The only evidence I have is that things I’ve written in both Never on Sunday and Love is Not a Reward have happened in real life. I’m still a little spooked by it because I never know which things are going to manifest in real life. Maybe that would be true prediction, true prophecy.

Where to now? – Well, the writing continues. I have at least eight books in my head waiting to come out. Spiritually I will be focusing more on shamanic practices and will write about these as much as I can.

Dancing with the juju man in Cameroon

Back to Cameroon – I’ll be going back to Cameroon later this year so will be writing about that too, along with anything interesting that happens in my spiritual, ancestral and writing world. I hope you will continue to drop in from time to time.

June 18, 2013
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Session 34 – Encaustic paintings

Monday June 17^th 2013

We were definitely missing male energy today. Eight females engaged with crystals, cards and Encaustic paintings. Aim? To connect with spirit and give readings to each other.

There were two new people and one that moved over from Greg’s Thursday evening group – on account of working nights.

My Encaustic painting – landscape

After the opening prayer one of the members lead the first meditation. She used a set of cards and asked us to choose one to focus on during the meditation. Mine was essentially about asking for help and keeping going till I get to the top of the mountain.

We then did a healing meditation using quartz crystal. I had a massive wand and felt its energy as soon as I picked it up and sat it on my lap. I could barely focus on the meditation because the energy was so strong from the crystal.

‘Shall we do the Encaustic paintings?’ Mary asked.

There was a chorus of ‘What’s Encaustic paintings?’ from most of us.

‘I’ve brought an iron and some paper,’ said Jill, rummaging around in her bag. ‘I’ve brought the wax as well.’

‘I’ll get the ironing board then,’ said Mary, and disappeared upstairs.

‘It’s best if we just show you what to do,’ Jill said in reply to our wide eyes and dropped jaws.

And she was as good as her word. An ironing board was set up in our meditation room. The iron was plugged in, the small oblongs of what looked like photographic paper were piled at one end of the ironing board while Jill and Mary spread newspaper on it and laid out small blocks of coloured wax.

My Encaustic painting – portrait view

Mary then demonstrated how to rub the wax onto the hot plate of the iron and manipulate it over the photographic paper to form a picture. She changed colours several times, sometimes layering one over the other. She had a beautiful abstract picture by the end. And even as I stood admiring it I began to try to make sense of it psychically.

We all had fun creating our own unique pictures before pairing up to give readings to each other. I’ve stopped being amazed by how accurately whatever is being read can be to the person you’re reading for.

I saw in my partner’s picture the face of a silver lion with the body of a monkey. I knew instinctively it had to do with her protective qualities, but also her ingenuity and sense of fun. I saw a blue heart and thought it related to her reconnecting with her love of expressing herself. She admitted that she’d had some problem in the past but was becoming more open now.

The reading from my picture was about going all the way to the top. She saw ‘go’ at the top right hand corner of the picture (portrait view). Swirls of positive energy were taking me there.

The Monday circle seem to be the one that introduces me to the many and varied tools one can use to do a psychic reading, while the Thursday circle focuses more on developing mediumship skills.

Monday’s seem to confirm where I’m going whereas Thursday’s give me new pointers.

As you know I’m always interested in other people’s experiences. Have you ever done or read an Encaustic painting? Can you see anything in the one I did? Let me know if you can, please.

June 3, 2013
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Session 33 – Runes and condoms

June 3^rd 2013 (Monday)

Today we played with runes and laughed a lot. Maybe it was the slight increase in number to eight, maybe it was the addition of some male energy in the shape of Tim, or maybe it was the very erotic rune cards and some frisky minds.

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

It began when Mary couldn’t find a piece of music she needed. Tim filled in as we waited with a tale about the birds in his garden rejecting the food from Poundland, whereas they gobbled up the stuff from Sainsbury’s. It veered from his impending complaint to the pound store to the gourmet tastes of his birds, and the fact they could be holding meetings to put in a complaint about him etc… etc. It was a good thing Mary had already opened the circle by asking us all to do a prayer; otherwise we may never have got going.

: Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

To bring some order back to the group she read us today’s message from

June 3rd extract from Eileen Caddy’s book Open Doors Within

Eileen Caddy’s book Open Doors Within. June 3^rd is all about faith, trust and looking for answers in the silence. It’s about being the change on a personal level that you want to see in the world. ‘Get yourself sorted out first,’ she says, then spirit ‘can use you to help and serve your fellow human beings.’

We all said it was true and it had the desired effect of sobering us up for our main activity, which was doing reading from runes.

As not many people remembered to bring their runes Mary decided to do three rune readings for each person in a large group. It was an unusually difficult set to read, and not helped by the fact that the pack contained runes that were not on the key she’d issued us with.

Despite this it was amazing how often two runes came out for different members of the group.

GEBO – It is union, partnership of any sort but you must keep your individuality and self-confidence. For this is the rune of freedom’

THURISAZ – The door is its symbol. Then, observe every moment, every detail. Think it over and get free from your ghosts. Then cross the borders,’

In addition to the two above I also got INGUZ – Claims you to split up relationships or old habits – you are ready for a new start; even for a new child. The meantime could be dangerous. So, keep your good mood.’

In truth it was a little bitty, with people trying to first make out which rune it was and then trying to make sense of the interpretations, some of which was quite brutal. For example, NAUTIZ – ‘Your dark sides block you and make you weak. Investigate what makes you so attractive to bad luck.’

The one that made the most sense to me was INGUZ, especially in light of my dreams about moving and babies.

One member had brought in a set of rune cards. They were much easier to read and had the most beautiful and erotic images. The group erupted again when the meaning of my card was being read. I heard the word ‘protection’ and sniggered.

‘Why did you laugh?’ Mary asked.

I hesitated a second before admitting, ‘There a red hot man on this care and I’m being told about protection, just wondered if I had any in my handbag.’

Well, the innuendoes flew as everyone looked at the card. Wish I’d taken a photo. By the time we came to saying the closing prayers (again all taking turns) someone asking God to help out with my stock for my handbag.

I so needed a laugh, hadn’t thought it was have been at circle. Loved it!

May 21, 2013
by predencia 3 Comments

Session 31 – Turning over a new leaf – giving readings from leaves

Another all female week, in fact, if we continue at this rate we’ll become a closed group by default.

‘Before you get comfortable I want you all to go outside and pick a leaf from the garden,’ Mary instructed us. So off we trundled spreading out like hunter dogs across the garden, and returned with our catch which most of us placed under our chairs.

Ribbon carousel

After a brief opening prayer which was the task of our newest member, Mary launched into our first exercise, colour ribbon reading. It’s an exercise we’ve done before and I wasn’t too fazed when I had to go first.

Although we had been paired up using Mary’s crystal colour coding, we had to give the reading in front of the whole group. My partner was the newest member, and I was grateful because I knew very little about her.

She choose a turquoise strip. Because I’d also seen her leaf which was a very delicate multi-fronded acer one I was already aware that she was a multi-faceted person, and as turquoise links to creativity I felt on pretty safe ground to tell her she was very creative in several different areas.

I’m also becoming a little more confident to use what I know of things like body language to do readings. Also using my NLP training is becoming easier because I’m not as tense about actually giving a message. If nothing else these circles have helped to build my confidence in using all the skills I already have, in addition to the new ones I’m learning.

I picked up on her perfectionist nature, her unwillingness to ask for help because everyone perceives her as being very strong and not needing any. There were other things too, one of which must have come to me spiritually because I couldn’t work out how I knew.

When it came to my turn I choose orange, and was the only one that hadn’t chosen a colour that I was wearing.

I was pretty impressed by her reading, given that she also knew very little about me. Other readings also demonstrated degrees of accuracy.

Leaf

Our next task was to do a reading for each other using the leaves we’d picked. I worked with a different partner. I’d heard it was possible to do a reading from a leaf – in fact from anything – so was quite interested to see what I would make of the very floppy leaf my partner handed me.

That was the first thing I used in her reading, the fact that she was feeling a little wilted, but that it was of her own doing as she had difficulty with delegating.

As she’s one of the more established members of the group I was very pleased when she said,

‘You’re definitely getting better,’ and continued to repeat this at intervals as I proceeded with the reading.

‘Looking at the way the veins go to the edge of the leaf. I’d say you’re a completer finisher. You like to see a job through. But looking at the number of veins I’d say you often take on too much and get frustrated with yourself because you can’t complete them to the standard you want. Or you try and do them and wear yourself out.’

‘You’re definitely getting better,’ she said emphatically.

‘Looking at the way this leaf comes to a sharp point I’d say that your tongue can be very sharp sometimes. Your words can be very cutting.’

‘I’m working on that,’ she said. ‘I’m learning to just let some things be, not take them personally, and just let people carry on with their foolishness.’

‘I’m not sure how to say the next thing…’ I hesitated.

‘Just say it as it comes,’ she encouraged.

‘Well, the shape of this leaf is your natural shape; the weight you’re carrying is not you.’

‘Oh my God, do you know I never used to be this big. I’ve just agreed to start a new diet on Monday. I’m going to be eating…’

‘Actually what I’m seeing is that you don’t need to diet. What you need to do is focus on the things you want to do and have fun doing them. Don’t take on too many things and get frustrated and eat a result. Do things that you really enjoy and you will raise your vibration to a very high level. When you’re in that state your body will regulate itself. That’s part of the problem with diets. People get so focused on food that they forget to enjoy themselves, and the more they focus on their weight the more of a battle they have with food.’

‘So are you saying don’t focus on the diet?’

‘Yes. I used to be three stones heavier than I am now, and used to diet all the time. You know – the classic yo-yo diet. It would come off, and then go on again. Then I noticed that it was when I was unhappy that it went on. It took a while but I re-programmed my brain, and now my weight is pretty constant.’

Leaf

It was time to switch over and for her to read my leaf.

‘There are five major projects you’re working on at the moment, and looking at this tiny hole in this part of the leaf I would say that one of them is not going as well as you’d like, but it’s only a little hiccup.’

‘Only five?’ I joked.

‘Major ones,’ she said.

‘You’re quite a balanced person, but you too need to look after your energy,’ she said as she held the leaf between both her hands. Then she appeared to go off issues to do with the leaf.

‘September is important to you. So is October this year. And July is very important, especially the 7^th.

‘Yes, all of those make sense. My birthday is in September, I’m taking a trip in October and I’ve been trying to make up my mind whether to go to an event on the 6^th or 7^th of July,’

‘Go on the 7^th,’ she said empathically.

Because we’d run over on my reading to her, we had to stop there as Mary was calling us back.

We shared our experiences in the large group. Four of us carried out the exercise; the other two had a deep and meaningful discussion instead. The other pair also had a lot of success with their leaf reading.

Just before we closed someone asked if we could all just pull one card. Mary got a pack and spread them on the floor.

Mine was SEDNA – Infinite Supply. All your needs are taken care of for today and all of your tomorrows. I smiled.

Have you done any leaf reading? Can you see anything else in these leaves?

May 14, 2013
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Session 29 – Woodlands and fairies

May 13^th 2013 (Monday)

Tim had an audition in London so couldn’t make today’s circle. He text me about 10.30 to say he was just passing through West Brompton. I said I hoped the vibes were good.

Anyway, back to the circle. There were seven of us, six regulars and a returnee who has not been for a long time, all women. That’s a first for me.

After the opening prayer we spent quite a while talking about mediumship malpractice. Mary outlined a few cases where clients have been left distraught by unprofessional readings and have called her for reassurance. She even told of one medium who was now in prison for unprofessional physical conduct with his female clients.

I listened to the gasps of horror and the ‘serves him right,’ and couldn’t help but wonder if we were being a little judgemental. What I mean is that we all have a purpose here, and each has an individual journey. I suggested that perhaps this medium needed to use his gifts in prison – maybe that’s part of his soul’s journey. If it is (and why wouldn’t it be if he’s there?) then he had to do something to get him there.

I think sometimes when we hear of human suffering we want to be compassionate to the people who have suffered, which makes us less so of the ones who have caused the suffering. But each has a unique place in God’s heart and I don’t believe it is for us to judge until we’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes.

So, stepping gently off my soap box….

The next exercise was a meditation lead by Jill, one of the members. I think Mary’s asking the more experienced members to take meditations to give them practice, and to add variety to the group.

‘You find yourself in a wood,’ Jill said, following the deep breathing relaxation she took us through.

‘You see a rickety house in the distance. Walk up to the house. Push the door open. Inside looks a little unkempt. You see something in the room that you’ve lost. What is it?’

I saw an old hairbrush that I haven’t seen in years. I don’t even use a hairbrush anymore because my hair is in locks. But there it was. I picked it up and ran my fingers over the plastic teeth. It wasn’t even a valuable one. There was something comforting about finding it though.

‘Now you notice a door to the side of the room. Open the door and go down the stairs into the basement, into the cellar. It’s quite dark down there, but as your eyes become accustomed to the dark you see huddled in the corner your resistance bully. This is the bully that tells you “you can put it off till tomorrow” or “you don’t have to do this bit” or “what’s the use?” or “You’re too tired.’ This is the bully that has pushed you around and stopped you progressing in so many areas of your life. Well now you are in charge. See it for what it is. Look at it cowering.’

As I looked in the corner I saw a big orange blob, and slowly a head and a couple of arms emerged from it. It was male, and it didn’t look me in the eye. I had no fear of it, but I was very curious as to why it looked like a giant Fanta bubble with arms and legs.

‘Tell you resistance bully that it no longer have any hold over you, that you’re strong enough now to manage without it.’

I said the words but it felt like a conversation I’d had previously.

‘Now wrap your resistance bully in a ball of light, and add a ball of pink light around it. Then walk back up the stairs. Look around the room, what do you notice? Now walk back out the door and back into woods.’

That was it before we had to come back into the room.

During the feedback some people said they found lost toys, pieces of jewellery or other artefacts. Jill said my hairbrush was connected to one of my grandmothers.

Some people experienced the bully as frightening at first but was able to tame it (so to speak) and leave it in a bubble of love. One person couldn’t picture a bully at all.

Some experienced the room as brighter and more organised on the way out, but it looked pretty much the same to me.

Our second activity was to do a three card reading using fairy cards after Mary explained that some people see fairies and elementals as second class spirits, but in her eyes they had equal status with all spirit forms.

We each choose our cards and worked in pairs to do a reading for each other.

Fairy card reading

I got ‘Quiet Time,’ ‘Rise above Problems,’ and ‘Financial Flow.’ The person I was working with commented on the orangey glow of the first card, rustic quiet orange. See, this shade of orange I can handle, it’s the very bright shade that gives me a headache and makes me want to reach for my shades. Dave’s advice about sitting with orange was still going through my head.

(DOH!! As I write this I realise that I haven’t actually asked spirit to show me what the meaning of the thing with orange is. I know it sounds weird but I’ve just had a thought that it’s about letting go. But letting go of what? Something else for me to explore in my quiet time.)

Anyway, the second card and third cards were very reassuring. In fact, sometimes when I dance with a veil I look a little like the fairy in the second card. And bring on the financial flow. She pointed out that the fairy was spiralling into gold, and that there were other fairy helpers along the way.

Fairy card reading

I was more than happy with my reading, and tried to interpret her cards for her. They made sense for her. She’s just become a partner in an environmental recycling company. The message was that it would be successful but would take more of her time than she was envisaging at the moment. She needs to take the extra time she has now (she’s working part-time) to really get out and have more fun, connect with her inner child and stop worrying so much. She needs to trust more, that what she wants will be there when she needs it, and it is in the trust that her transformation will take place. She can’t have one foot in the water and one out. She needs to step out and know that spirit are taking care of her.

What I’m finding after 29 of these sessions is that I’m not as hesitant about saying what comes into my head. It does help of course that we’re reading for people who also understand what the cards mean and are open to spiritual growth. The real test will be on people who don’t go to circle.

As usual, if you see anything that I’ve missed (and that’s often plenty) please let me know. I am going to check out orange again, and reflect on what I’m meant to let go of.

May 2, 2013
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Session 28 – Crystal ball, candles and ‘don’t change that title’

2^nd May 2013 (Thursday)

Six women and three men headed for the log cabin at the end of the garden for tonight’s circle meeting. The glorious May weather commanded an outdoor experience.

Crystal ball

One of the men, a very gifted medium had not been for over three months due to illness and other issues. I’d only seen him the first two weeks of Thursday circles. As he was being introduced to our newest member of the group he shook her hand and immediately asked, ‘Who’s had an accident with the car?’

Completely taken aback she replied, ‘My car rolled down a slope and crushed the back end of my daughter’s car.’

For the next fifteen minutes he gave her fact after fact about her family and herself, some of which she was able to confirm and others he advised her to go and check, as they were about her grand-father and great grand-father.

After that sizzling start where the rest of us were in awe, and maybe a little envious of all the fantastic messages, Greg went straight into our opening meditation. The guides and helpers were duly summoned to aid and protect us before he told us to focus on getting a message for someone in the group, or for ourselves for the second part of the meditation.

‘Focus on your third eye,’ he said, ‘see a deep blue crystal in front of your third eye building the energy around it.’ He then moved to the throat chakra and asked us to visualize a paler crystal, again building energy around the throat, then to focus on getting a message for someone.

Candle

I chose a young woman that I knew very little about having only seen her twice at circle. I found it hard to concentrate at first as my mind kept wandering to an incident from the afternoon that had angered me so much it manifested as a nosebleed. I’d been in such a bad mood I’d even contemplated not bothering with circle tonight, then realised that I probably really needed it.

I asked my guides to help me focus, and eventually saw the young woman pushing a wheelbarrow full of brick up a garden path. It was a real struggle for her, but when she got to the other end the bricks were used to build a barbeque, and a real party atmosphere ensued. I saw yellow, gold and red balloons floating up into the air, and later, as the night drew in, the embers glowed and the little dog stopped its excited yapping, Chinese lanterns were released. I got four names.

During the feedback someone else in the group who knows her well said it made perfect sense, that she had a bit of a struggle coming up but had been told that by September there would be much happier times.

Two people got messages for me, one saw me in a very quiet place sitting at a table writing furiously. I told her I’d just come back from a quiet break in Wales but that I had deliberately stopped myself from touching the keyboard to write. She said I wasn’t at the keyboard, I was writing with a pen on paper. That’s when I remembered that while I was away I did a lot of journaling, which I write by hand.

The gifted medium also had asked for a message for me, and gave me fifteen minutes worth (be careful what you wish for), 90% of it extremely accurate. He asked if I wrote poetry, and had I had some published. I said ‘yes’.

He said ‘you’ve written a special poem for a special person recently haven’t you?’

‘Yes,’ I stuttered, wondering if he was about to disclose the content and to whom, but I breathed a sigh of relief as he continued. He told me that I like to be by the sea, was inspired by it but was afraid to get into it beyond my waist.

‘Do you have a crystal ball?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ I said.

‘Do you see things in it?’

‘I used to, until I went on a course to learn how to use it properly and then stopped seeing anything at all.’

‘I think you should try using it again. You’ll probably find that you’ll be able to see things again.

He then went on to talk about the significance of a candle, and I told him that I often write with a lit candle, and that the candle was next to the crystal ball. If felt as if he was looking into my personal space.

The thing that threw me the most though was when he asked if I’d been asked to write a new book.

‘Yes,’ I admitted, I began it this week.

‘Have you been thinking of changing the title?’

‘I haven’t got a title for the new book yet,’ I explained, ‘but yesterday I questioned whether I should change the title of the one I’ve just finished.’

‘Don’t,’ he said, ‘they’re saying it’s the correct title.’

My jaw was hanging loose by this stage. Such a specific answer so quickly. There was much else, but after a while I became aware of the attention, and that other people had not had as much.

The rest of the time was taken up with discussing the way spirit works with us. One person described her dream of diesel being put into a petrol car, and half an hour after having the dream her husband called to say he’d put petrol in her diesel car. A long discussion followed where various dreams were shared, along with spirits many and varied ways of getting our attention. Like tapping people on the shoulder, poking them in the side, pulling their hair, moving things, through electrical equipment, through their cars etc.

The time went by so quickly that we didn’t have time for another meditation. And to think I considered not going.

April 30, 2013
by predencia 1 Comment

Session 27 – Picture this

April 29^th 2013 (Monday)

After my week in Wales in (almost) solitude, pretty much talking to spirit morning, noon and night, it was exciting to be joining others to share the experience. No Tim today. I’m not sure if the novelty’s worn off or if he’s weighed down with work. It’s unlike him not to call me or to respond to my call. I hope he’s alright.

I was looking forward to today’s session as we’d had a text from Mary toward the end of last week informing us that as she had a hospital appointment, and as she couldn’t vouch for the NHS’s flexible timing, Zoe would be taking the session. She also said a new lady would be joining us, that she was at university and wanted to include mediumship in her thesis. I was intrigued and was quite looking forward to meeting with this lady, not least because I’m toying with the idea of doing a doctorate in creative writing, and would like to look at the paranormal, as this feature strongly in my second novel Betrayed.

It may be just a small thing but the door was opened when I got there, so I let myself in and found the others in the conservatory. I can’t believe how excited I was to be back. Somehow this place is beginning to feel like a second home. Not just the building but the people in it are very welcoming. Zoe and Mary were there (NHS was flexible in Mary’s favour today), plus two others. After hugs and pecks on cheeks six of us settled in the main room to begin.

After the opening prayer Zoe asked one of the other members to lead us through a relaxation meditation during which we heard the doorbell ring. Shortly afterwards someone else joined us. It wasn’t till we came round from the meditation that I noticed it was a new lady.

I was so chilled by then that I totally forgot to ask if she was from the university. In any case she didn’t appear to be from the university as she joined in and took part in our first activity.

Zoe gave us all an A4 piece of paper marked into four squares. Each one contained a shape (circle, triangle, X, long thin oblong) from which we were to make drawing.

‘When you’ve done your drawings you’ll be working in pairs to give each other readings from your pictures,’ she said handing out clipboards and pens. My heart sank. I really am no artist.

In the silence which followed I drew a tree with deep roots, leaves on the ground and a rounded top in the long thin oblong square. In the X square I drew a noughts and crosses game with a boy and girl on either side. In the triangle square I drew a car going into a tunnel with the headlights on, and in the circle one a large face with a faint smile, freckles, with stubble on chin and head.

I say this is what I drew because that’s what they were in my head. While my partner could make out three of them, the car going into the tunnel had to be explained, and I admired her restraint not to burst out laughing.

Hers was an ironing board, a Chinese man kneeling down with hands clasped as if in prayer, a plain open face with a single curl of hair that resembled a question mark, and a butterfly. I looked at both sets of drawing wondering what the hell we were going to make of them.

‘Shall I go first?’ my partner asked, and I was more than happy to let her. It would give me a bit more time to study her pictures and try to get something from them.

‘You’re very rooted,’ she began looking at the tree picture. ‘You’re a very giving person, even after the harvest is over you still provide for others. This is what these leave mean. Moving on to the noughts and crosses she said I had a very playful nature, but that I could, if I wanted to, play mind games with men. If I was doing that it was probably not a very helpful thing to do.

‘You’re going deeper into your spirituality,’ she said after silently observing the car picture for a while. ‘Sometimes it feel a little daunting, like you don’t know what you’re getting into, but you’ve trusted it this far and you can keep trusting it. The headlights are showing you the way, keep your eyes and ears open and you’ll have nothing to fear.

She had a little more difficulty with the face, not knowing if it was a genuine smile of if the person it represented was hiding behind a smile, not sure if it was me or someone else.

I guess I’m still a little surprised at how we reveal ourselves in the little things we do and say, and where we’re not very obvious spirit steps in and fill in the blanks. I wasn’t aware that I was playing mind games, but after she mentioned it I examined a situation I’m dealing with at the moment and realised that I’ve been accusing someone of playing mind games. I wondered it was that he’s the one playing mind games, or whether I need to examine myself a little more deeply. The other things all made sense. I just hoped I could come somewhere close with my reading for her.

I began with the ironing board, a sigh of domesticity, and I was going to ask if she’s longing to get away from the drudgery of housework, but what came out of my mouth was,

‘You are very good at ironing out problems for other people, you can see what needs to be done, and while you won’t push it down people’s throats they will respect your take on a problem. They won’t always take your advice but they will come for it.’

Do not ask me where that came from. She agreed and elaborated a bit more on what I’d said. The Chinese man was about spending more time in meditation, or at least going deeper in meditation, too much of her meditation was scratching around at the surface, more depth was required.

‘You’re a very open person,’ I told her looking at the face with the question mark curl, ‘what you see is what you get with you. Sometimes people can read you like a book, but that’s OK, being any other way wouldn’t feel right for you. The message here is that if you’ve been thinking that people take advantage of you because you are so open, and that you need to keep thing to yourself a little more – don’t. Stay open.’

‘When I first saw the butterfly I thought it was about your transformation, but I’ve just been told that you’re helping someone to transform, and in that you’re finding your own transformation.’

She filled in the missing bits in what was essentially an accurate reading. I realise that I am learning to trust more of what comes to me and not try to censor it.

As if that wasn’t enough Zoe then asked us to focus on one person at a time and try to get messages about their spiritual as well as material development. We began with on only man as he had to leave early. As there were seven of us it took some time and would take many words to describe in detail all the messages we got, suffice to say that everyone recognised and accepted something from everyone.

I’ve got past the stage where I thought people were probably doing it to be polite and not hurt feelings if the messages didn’t make sense. So many of the messages they gave to me made sense. One of the women said she saw an eagle and a hummingbird. They were the animal cards I drew this morning – she had no way of knowing that. One told me that I needed to believe I am as beautiful on the outside as I am on the inside. I’ve been doing affirmations around this issue – she didn’t know that. One saw a white opening lotus as my spiritual message – spiritually I’m opening up. One saw me in a sequinned dress in September, one saw me under a spotlight, one saw someone putting money into my hands, another saw Archangel Michael with me and that he had a message for me – to ground myself (she wasn’t aware of the tree I’d drawn and the interpretation that had been made of it). ’ Another said she saw a long line of ancestors behind me, stretching in a long line, way, way, back.

I had the most amazing feeling that something beautiful is about to happen, especially when one said she saw traffic lights on amber and the message was ‘get ready’.

As you can tell, I was very, very excited. Worth a week of solitude to come back to this. I was so taken with all this activity that I completely forgot to ask about the woman from the university. Maybe she’ll come another day.

April 16, 2013
by predencia Leave a comment

Session 26 – Talking stick philosophy

15^th April 2013 (Monday)

I arrived at Oak House with another visitor today, not one new to the centre but new to the Monday circle. He’d been a couple of times to the Thursday evening one and thought he’d try one in the day too. Sadly Tim wasn’t able to make it – pressure of work.

As we entered the main room one of the members was busy putting chairs in a circle.

‘How many shall I put out?’ she asked after the introductions had been done.

‘Eight,’ I answered without thinking.

We went to meet some of the others hanging out in the conservatory, because finally we got some sun. It looked like there was a member to member card tuition going on, but those who weren’t included basked in the sun and enjoyed a chat before being called to order by Mary.

When we filed in she asked if we could lose some of the chairs as there were only eight of us and twelve chairs had been put out.

‘Didn’t you listen?’ I joked with the member who’d put the chairs out. It was, after all a lucky guess (or was it?).

She welcomed our new member, assured him he was safe in the company of a fairly mad group, and encouraged him to say a little about himself. Then, true to her form of asking us to take turns to say the opening prayer, Mary sought out the one who looked least like wanting to do it – and asked me.

‘Was I so obviously hiding?’ I asked.

‘Yes,’ came a chorus from the others. Next time I’ll try looking with eager anticipation.

My prayers are short and usually consist of thanking God for bringing us together, for what we are going to learn, and for reminding us that our lives and what we learn are to be used in service to others. This was no different.

Our first exercise was a meditation to a CD of Buddhist chants. It began eastern sounding enough, but changed a little way in and became very Southern African. It had a very odd beat (or non-beat) which made it difficult to be lulled into any kind of rhythm. I found it a very effective piece to keep the mind focused and not wander off.

After twenty minutes of this we were all chilled enough to be only mildly alarmed when Mary announced that she was going to get the talking stick from the other room.

There was a ripple of ‘talking stick, what’s a talking stick,’ as Mary left, and we were no clearer till she returned with a wooden stick, about eighteen inches long, on which were carved symbols. It had several silver studs inserted into the wood near the handle and was a prop of the late great medium of the centre.

‘We’re going to use this talking stick to give a philosophy from spirit,’ Mary explained. I will pass it to someone who will speak for five minutes about what spirit means to them. When they’ve finished they will pass it to someone else who will also speak for five minute, and so on.’

‘Five minutes on spirit?’ I was thinking. It was bad enough being asked to do a few minutes last time but how the hell was I going to talk for five minutes about what spirit is, especially if I’m not first. Everybody will have said what I’d want to say by then. For the first time ever, since joining these circles I was disappointed that I wasn’t first. In fact I was fourth, and had some pretty impressive acts to follow.

I think I’m getting better at trusting spirit to tell me what to say, because after my initial mini fit I became calm again, reminding myself that whatever came out of my mouth was what was supposed to come out, nothing more, nothing less. And if I was ever going to be asked publicly at short notice to speak about what spirit means to me, what safer place to practice than here?

When I was handed the stick I knew the first sentence that I would start with, after that I trusted spirit. I talked about the first time, ten years ago when I consciously reconnected with spirit – or should I say, they connected with me. Up until then I’d been busy denying the existence of any such things, and would have quite happily recommended a good psychiatrist for people who did. I guess people could be recommending the same for me now.

It was amazing how quickly the five minutes went and I was handing the stick over to someone else.

Only one of us had to rush off straight away at 2.30 so we officially closed, but the rest of us agreed to do one more exercise.

Mary must have had a theme of surprises for yesterday, because or final exercise was to stand up and give an impromptu reading to any one in the group. My heart sank, and I started to wish I’d said I needed to rush off as well.

You see, I really don’t see myself as a medium in that way, giving random messages to people from a stage. When I joined the circles it was very much with a view that it would help with my writing – hence the title of this blog. And so it was that I waited in trepidation for my turn to come round. It was seven minutes to three and I saw my opportunity to get out of this.

‘I’m really sorry but I have to be gone by three,’ I apologised as the last person sat down after delivering an excellent reading.

‘Oh, you’ve just got time to do a couple of minutes then,’ Mary said. Does this woman never give up?

I dragged myself to the front, choose my person and – nothing – a totally blank head. I stared at her and tried to find something useful to say but nothing came.

‘Give her a colour,’ Mary suggested.

‘Blue,’ said my sitter.

‘Blue,’ I repeated, buying time to see if something would come. Then I noticed that my sitter was helpfully mouthing ‘communication’ at me and pointing to her throat charka.

Then suddenly something kicked in and I began to tell her how she was getting much clearer with her delivery of messages, that she was trusting it more, not trying to censor or paraphrase it. I talked about her increasing confidence and the benefits this was bringing to the people to whom she delivered the messages.

After I’d rabbitted on for a bit I just suddenly stopped, as if nothing more was there.

As I returned to my seat, and for several hours after I reflected on how suddenly the words had arrived, how meaningful they were to the sitter, and how suddenly they’d stopped.

When will I learn to move myself out of the way? Any short cut tips you can recommend?

Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery

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