May 13^th 2013 (Monday)

Tim had an audition in London so couldn’t make today’s circle. He text me about 10.30 to say he was just passing through West Brompton. I said I hoped the vibes were good.

Anyway, back to the circle. There were seven of us, six regulars and a returnee who has not been for a long time, all women. That’s a first for me.

After the opening prayer we spent quite a while talking about mediumship malpractice. Mary outlined a few cases where clients have been left distraught by unprofessional readings and have called her for reassurance. She even told of one medium who was now in prison for unprofessional physical conduct with his female clients.

I listened to the gasps of horror and the ‘serves him right,’ and couldn’t help but wonder if we were being a little judgemental. What I mean is that we all have a purpose here, and each has an individual journey. I suggested that perhaps this medium needed to use his gifts in prison – maybe that’s part of his soul’s journey. If it is (and why wouldn’t it be if he’s there?) then he had to do something to get him there.

I think sometimes when we hear of human suffering we want to be compassionate to the people who have suffered, which makes us less so of the ones who have caused the suffering. But each has a unique place in God’s heart and I don’t believe it is for us to judge until we’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes.

So, stepping gently off my soap box….

The next exercise was a meditation lead by Jill, one of the members. I think Mary’s asking the more experienced members to take meditations to give them practice, and to add variety to the group.

‘You find yourself in a wood,’ Jill said, following the deep breathing relaxation she took us through.

‘You see a rickety house in the distance. Walk up to the house. Push the door open. Inside looks a little unkempt. You see something in the room that you’ve lost. What is it?’

I saw an old hairbrush that I haven’t seen in years. I don’t even use a hairbrush anymore because my hair is in locks. But there it was. I picked it up and ran my fingers over the plastic teeth. It wasn’t even a valuable one. There was something comforting about finding it though.

‘Now you notice a door to the side of the room. Open the door and go down the stairs into the basement, into the cellar. It’s quite dark down there, but as your eyes become accustomed to the dark you see huddled in the corner your resistance bully. This is the bully that tells you “you can put it off till tomorrow” or “you don’t have to do this bit” or “what’s the use?” or “You’re too tired.’ This is the bully that has pushed you around and stopped you progressing in so many areas of your life. Well now you are in charge. See it for what it is. Look at it cowering.’

As I looked in the corner I saw a big orange blob, and slowly a head and a couple of arms emerged from it. It was male, and it didn’t look me in the eye. I had no fear of it, but I was very curious as to why it looked like a giant Fanta bubble with arms and legs.

‘Tell you resistance bully that it no longer have any hold over you, that you’re strong enough now to manage without it.’

I said the words but it felt like a conversation I’d had previously.

‘Now wrap your resistance bully in a ball of light, and add a ball of pink light around it. Then walk back up the stairs. Look around the room, what do you notice? Now walk back out the door and back into woods.’

That was it before we had to come back into the room.

During the feedback some people said they found lost toys, pieces of jewellery or other artefacts. Jill said my hairbrush was connected to one of my grandmothers.

Some people experienced the bully as frightening at first but was able to tame it (so to speak) and leave it in a bubble of love. One person couldn’t picture a bully at all.

Some experienced the room as brighter and more organised on the way out, but it looked pretty much the same to me.

Our second activity was to do a three card reading using fairy cards after Mary explained that some people see fairies and elementals as second class spirits, but in her eyes they had equal status with all spirit forms.

We each choose our cards and worked in pairs to do a reading for each other.

I got ‘Quiet Time,’ ‘Rise above Problems,’ and ‘Financial Flow.’ The person I was working with commented on the orangey glow of the first card, rustic quiet orange. See, this shade of orange I can handle, it’s the very bright shade that gives me a headache and makes me want to reach for my shades. Dave’s advice about sitting with orange was still going through my head.

(DOH!! As I write this I realise that I haven’t actually asked spirit to show me what the meaning of the thing with orange is. I know it sounds weird but I’ve just had a thought that it’s about letting go. But letting go of what? Something else for me to explore in my quiet time.)

Anyway, the second card and third cards were very reassuring. In fact, sometimes when I dance with a veil I look a little like the fairy in the second card. And bring on the financial flow. She pointed out that the fairy was spiralling into gold, and that there were other fairy helpers along the way.

I was more than happy with my reading, and tried to interpret her cards for her. They made sense for her. She’s just become a partner in an environmental recycling company. The message was that it would be successful but would take more of her time than she was envisaging at the moment. She needs to take the extra  time she has now (she’s working part-time) to really get out and have more fun, connect with her inner child and stop worrying so much. She needs to trust more, that what she wants will be there when she needs it, and it is in the trust that her transformation will take place. She can’t have one foot in the water and one out. She needs to step out and know that spirit are taking care of her.

What I’m finding after 29 of these sessions is that I’m not as hesitant about saying what comes into my head. It does help of course that we’re reading for people who also understand what the cards mean and are open to spiritual growth. The real test will be on people who don’t go to circle.

As usual, if you see anything that I’ve missed (and that’s often plenty) please let me know. I am going to check out orange again, and reflect on what I’m meant to let go of.