Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery

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The Way of the Shaman – Journey to find my life purpose

Saturday 3rd August 2013

Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some

Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some

I’d just finished reading Malidoma Patrice Some’s book Of Water and the Spirit and was so envious that he knew what his life purpose was so early in life that I decided to do a journey to try and find mine. I’ve been asking since January to be helped to remember what it is.

I set the intention three times – ‘my intention is to journey to the lower world to meet my animal guides and to ask them to show me my life purpose.’

I felt very apprehensive as I walked to my usual axis mundi, and the journey down the roots of the tree was slow and laborious.

Both the eagle and the jaguar were waiting for me. They bowed to me as before and I told them why I’d come. I began to gibber away about what I’d been told before about being a high priestess in Egypt, about being a writer, a healer and a shaman. I rattled on for ages while they patiently listened and didn’t interrupt.

‘So can you tell me,’ I ended.

‘You said you wanted to be shown,’ jaguar reminded me.

They both looked kindly at me, before eagle flew off.

‘Where’s she going?’ I asked jaguar.

‘To keep watch,’ he replied and indicated to me to follow him.

I was expecting something akin to what I’d been reading in Malidoma’s book – some kind of initiation. We walked through a clearing, through a forest and past the mouth of a cave. All these things are in Of Water and the Spirit.

Each time I thought the jaguar was going to show me something, but he just kept on walking till we came to another much bigger clearing.

It took me a while to work out that we was standing in the middle of a massive heart. Gradually the outside of the heart filled with men of all different shapes, sizes and ages. Although of different races they were predominantly black.

‘You are to heal men my opening your heart to them,’ the jaguar said.

I wanted to scream ‘NO! NOT THAT! THAT’S TOO PAINFUL!’ I looked around at all the men and began to cry. I wasn’t just crying in the journey, I was also crying into my blindfold. I felt as if my own heart was breaking.

All I could think of was that it would mean no happiness for me – men constantly coming and going in my life. The jaguar tried to reassure me that all would be fine.

‘But what about the women?’ I asked, ‘Don’t the women need healing too?’

‘When the men are healed, the women will be healed too,’ he carried on in his soothing way. ‘The women are strong but they look to the men for leadership, they look to the men for love. The men need to heal. It’s why you came.’

All I kept thinking was, ‘what about my own happiness,’ while the jaguar went on about the importance of the men healing.

Then all the men disappeared and were replaced by prepubescent boys. My heart went out to them and I sobbed (I must find a less clichéd word) literally and figuratively. Then they were replaced by the men, then the boys. They kept interchanging.

‘How am I going to do this?’ I asked the jaguar.

‘That’s for another journey;’ he answered softly, ‘this one was about your purpose.’

‘Where’s the eagle?’ I enquired.

‘She’s gone to check out the way,’ he said before the call-back tempo made me realise how quickly 30 minutes had passed.

I was still crying when I returned, with a heaviness that made it difficult to move. It wasn’t really what I’d wanted to hear or to see. It felt (feels) like too much at too big a personal cost.


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Session 41 – Soul retrieval and the chamber of treasures

Thursday 1st August 2013

We were five tonight, three women (including a new one) and two men including Greg.

We began with a relaxation meditation – which I really needed. It began with the usual deep breaths. ‘See any part of our body that’s in need of healing surrounded by the colour grey,’ Greg instructed us.

I focused on my broken finger (or should I say the finger that was broken ). Although I think the fracture has mended there is still some deep tissue bruising which is painful to touch, and the skin on that finger continues to peel, very slowly. I’m literally shedding old skin.

We then had to move white light through our bodies changing the grey to white, healing and rejuvenating any part of us that needed it.

Just before the meditation ended (and I’ve wondered about including this) I saw a couple of men pushing an old van. It was hot and they were naked from the waist down. They seemed unaware that their genitals were swinging for all to see. I didn’t mention this in the feedback. On reflection I’m wondering why. My own embarrassment? Not wanting to embarrass others? Maybe a bit of both?

Next we did a shamanic journey to retrieve parts of our soul and also to visit the chamber of treasures. The shamanic journeys we do here are different to the ones we did on the course a few weeks ago. These are guided, whereas the way I was taught is that you do your own journeying without any guidance from anyone.

‘Allow your luminous body to go into the earth, past the stones, tree roots, loose debris until you come to a river. Bathe in the river to remove anything that shouldn’t be taken into the lower world. Flow with the river till you come to a lake. Swim to the shore and find a power animal waiting there for you.’ Greg’s voice was soft but firm.

As I’ve been practicing on my own I’ve learned to go at my own pace and I’m beginning to find the guided ones a little too fast for me, so I don’t always get from one place to the other in time.

I travelled from my usual axis mundi and the jaguar came to meet me. He came with me to the room Greg directed us to and I saw a three-year-old version of me sitting in a corner with her knees pulled up to her chest looking a little lost and frightened.

I brought her into my heart as directed, but before I was fully integrated with her we were on the way to the chamber of treasures.

‘You will meet someone there who will give you something,’ Greg said.

I wasn’t given anything as I was still occupied with my younger self.

We retraced our steps and returned. Greg suggested that the little girl probably represented an event that happened when I was that age that I’ve never fully integrated and that this afforded the opportunity to do that.

The final meditation was one to open the 3rd eye.

We focused our energy initially on our third eye before allowing the energy to fill our heads. We then built a bridge between our third eye and the pineal gland.

My bridge was blue with sparks flying off it before it changed to turquoise.

‘See a screen ahead or you, like a movie screen,’ Greg began. ‘Look at it and project something on it from your 3rd eye.’

The Magician tarot card

The Magician tarot card

I saw a torch and picked it up. As I shone it at the screen it made lots of sideways 8 (Greg said the infinity sign) and then circles, then back to the sideways 8.

I’ve been seeing the number 8 a lot over the past month or so. I know one of the meanings is abundance and power, and another is, as Greg pointed out is infinity. I also remembered that the infinity sign features prominently on the Magician tarot card. (Ryder Waite version)


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Session 40 – I must be barking mad

Thursday 25th July 2013

We were seven tonight, two men and five women.

The bear in the bark

The bear in the bark

At the start of the day I pulled the rainbow card from my colour card pack, the second time in as many days. The message is ‘connect with spirit in nature.’ I decided to act on it and went for a walk in the park. I found a friendly looking sycamore tree and hugged it. As I did a piece of bark fell off and hit me on my head. Thinking it might be significant I picked it up and took it to circle with me. Greg said he would be happy to do a reading from it for me.

At the end of our meditations he was true to his word, but more than that he asked everyone else to say what they saw in the bark. As you can see from the picture one side was rough and the other smooth.

Greg saw a bear, and as soon as he mentioned it I could see it too (amazing that I’d looked at it all day and not been able to see the bear). Bear = boundaries. ‘It’s only when you can say a clear ‘no’ that you can say a clear ‘yes.’

It made sense because there’s an issue I’ve been struggling with for nearly six months involving boundaries.

Smooth bear in the bark

Smooth bear in the bark

Different members of the group saw the Hindu God Shiva = destroyer of the ego, the ‘evil eye’, and a Tibetan monk. One person thought it was trying to tell me that the rough and jagged past is behind me and a smoother future lay ahead with lots of spiritual growth (represented by the spiralling markings)

I’ve decided to add it to my altar, along with the stone from the shamanic weekend.


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The Way of the Shaman – Eagles and Jaguars

Journey to find the significance of the Jaguar and Eagle in my life.

Monday 29th July 2013

Yesterday I got a reply to the blog Way of the Shaman – Power Animal Retrieval. Sandra asked whether I was aware that ‘The Jaguars’ and ‘The Eagles’ were names given to elite warriors in the Aztec army.

I wasn’t, but Googled it, and sure enough my animal teachers were the noble and elite warriors of that ancient civilization.

Now, this was a little disconcerting because I have no wish to go into battle over anything. Not voluntarily anyway. In fact my whole focus of the moment is towards peace, inner and outer.

I was so rattled by this that I decided to do a shamanic journey to find the answer. This is what happened.

I journey to the lower world through my usual axis mundi, the tree in my front of my house. As I entered the lower world my teacher, the jaguar, was waiting for me. I told him why I’d come.

He contemplated for a little while with his head down. I’m getting used to his ways now. He seems to take his time to consider how best to work with me.

When he raised his head a big round boulder had materialise beside me.

‘Sit down,’ he said softly.

I did as I was told and he sat opposite me.

‘You need to learn to breathe like a jaguar’ he continued in his soft voice. ‘You need to learn how to rest properly and be ready for action when necessary. When you get back look up how jaguars breathe.’

We sat for a while, both of us breathing deeply.

‘Why do I need to be ready for action?’ I asked, remembering the warrior link.

He showed me a crowd of people, thousands of heads, like when the spotlight washes over the crowd at a concert.

‘What are they doing?’ I asked perplexed.

He didn’t answer for a while, and then in a voice I could just about hear he said, ‘you’ll touch them all in some way.’

I was about to ask another question but he indicated that I should get back to the deep breathing. He kept reiterating how important it was for me to learn to breathe properly, to relax, and to be prepared.

After what seemed like a long time I asked him why I hadn’t seen the eagle since the course. Almost as soon as the question left my lips the eagle appeared beside him. She was almost the same size as him.

She bowed her head to me, then the jaguar did too, then they both bowed together. I bowed back.

We sat looking at each other in silence for a while before the eagle reached out her right wing and gently, as if I was a baby, stroked the left side of my face. Looking deeply into my eyes she stroked my right cheek with her left wing before enveloping me in both wings.

She felt tender and soft and I could have happily stayed in her embrace forever. It was then I felt the jaguar put his arms around us in a group hug. I felt safe and protected and very reluctant to leave as the music changed to the call back tempo and I made my way back up the tree roots into my room.

The message about relaxing made a lot of sense to me as I’ve been flying around like a mad thing recently. It was interesting, when I reflected on the experience, that I had gone on a journey to meditate, because that is clearly what I’d done for most of the time. This message was reiterated with an experience I had with butterflies. See blog Messages from butterflies.

Touching many people? Yes, that makes sense too, because words can do that. It doesn’t mean I have to personally meet with thousands of people.

But I’m still not clear why specifically a jaguar and an eagle. I looked up how jaguars breathe but couldn’t find anything.

I’d be happy to hear your take on any of it.


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Session 39 – Meeting my power animal

Thursday 18th July 2013

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1386Another small group, 3 men and two women but so different to last week.  We were in the log cabin again, but began our first relaxation meditation not long after 7.30.

Just as I closed my eyes to begin I saw two cats playing on the floor to the left of me.

As I’d mentioned to Greg that I was going on a shamanic workshop at the weekend he said he’d do a shamanic journey with us to meet our power animals. He’d very generously offered to help me choose a stone from the garden that would be suitable to take with me on the course. He thought the one I’d chosen was too big (not palm size as requested by the course but more something that could be used as a lethal weapon). He said it was likely to be the first of 13 alter stones if I decided to pursue a shamanic path therefore a smaller would be better.

He told us some of the basic differences between shamanism and spiritualism, but basically said there was a lot of overlap. He then took up on a shamanic journey (without the drums) to meet out power animals.

He ask us to climb up a hill and then down the other side.

‘Stop and look back at how far you’ve come,’ he said.

I was about half way down. He told us to look across the landscape to an island shrouded in mist. We were heading for the island but first we had to go through the woods that were directly in front of us.

‘Stand still and wait for a sign to show you which direction to go in,’ he said.

I waited. A coconut fell off a tree and rolled to my left. (What’s a coconut tree doing in a British woods!!!) Anyway, no time to think about it as we were being instructed that we had now come to a clearing where there was a lake and a ceremonial robe. We had to put it on.

There were seven robes on the ground in front of me, one in each colour of the rainbow. I had an internal tussle between the yellow and the purple one, but finally choose the purple.

‘Step into the lake,’ Greg instructed us, ‘and get into the canoe which you can now see.’

Wet and dripping I got in, marvelling at how things can just materialise in front of your very eyes in meditation.

We had to row across to the island, get out and choose between one of three paths, a wood, a river and a beach.

I really wanted to follow the river but found myself pulled to the beach.

‘Sit on a rock or a log. Close your eyes and wait for your power animal to come to you,’ he said. ‘Be aware that it could be huge like an elephant or tiny like a wren, or even an ant. When you feel your animal’s presence open your eyes and look at it.’

Even while Greg was still speaking I saw, in my mind’s eye, a sleek and graceful black jaguar walking down the beach towards me. When I opened my eyes I found myself looking deep into its eyes. His face was only inches away from me, but I felt no fear. In fact I felt the opposite, I felt completely safe.

‘Walk with your power animal,’ Greg told us.

As we began walking along the beach I could feel his power and knew he could and would protect me from anything.

‘Ask your power animal if it has a message for you,’ Greg said.

I waited for the jaguar to say something to me. When he spoke to me it was telepathically.

‘You’re stronger than you believe. You’re faster than you know. Never fear those who fear you.’ His voice was strong but soothing, and I was about to ask what he meant by ‘never fear those who fear you’, when Greg said,

‘You come to a river and have to get back into the boat.’

Power Animal Oracle Cards

Power Animal Oracle Cards

I was feeling a little sad that I had to leave but perked up when Greg said, ‘Your power animal gets in with you and you paddle back to the other side. When you get there get out of the canoe and immerse yourself into the water before coming back into the room.’

I reflected on my messages while the first person shared her journey. She too had seen a black jaguar, but had also had a bear and a bird. I’d look up Jaguar in my Power Animal pack with I got home.

The first two parts of my message made sense to me, but why would I fear those who fear me?

Greg said he felt it was about letting go of my fears, not just learning how to control them but letting go of them completely, because I had nothing to fear.

I mentioned the cats.

‘Was one of them black,’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ I replied wondering if he’d seen them too.

‘They are often in here,’ he said. They used to live here and their spirits obviously come back from time to time to visit.

‘Must be a thing with cats tonight,’ I joked.

Because three of us had unanswered questions from the meditation Greg suggested doing ten minute silent meditation to ask for answers. One was ‘Why am I constantly hot?’ Another ‘Why am I always rocking?’ A third was ‘How do I step into my power?’ and mine was ‘How do I get rid of my fear?’

Within minutes I felt a tremendous tingling in my back. It went on for some time. I began to wonder if it meant ‘don’t look back’ or ‘learn from the past’ or ‘don’t hold on to past hurts.’ I was still trying to work it out when Greg called us back.

One of the women said that tingling in the back is usually an indication that our angelic wings are being fitted, or if already fitted being adjusted, often being made bigger.

Greg thought it was about not focusing on the past, but looking to the future.

I’m still not sure. Do you have any other suggestions???

 


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Session 38 – Sai Baba was here

Thursday 11th July 2013

Summer fruits in Erdington Brmingham

Summer fruits in Erdington Brmingham

There were only five of us tonight – for the first time the men outnumbered the women three to two. It was a beautiful evening and we sat chatting in the garden before heading to the log cabin where the chat continued for quite a while longer.

I was fascinated by a photo I’d not noticed before.

‘Is that a picture of Peter as a young man?’ I asked Greg. Peter was the founder of the centre and a well respected international medium.

‘That’s actually a picture of Sai Baba,’ he replied.

‘Sai Baba?’ I was surprised as it didn’t look like the ones I’ve seen of him.

‘Yes, Sai Baba was a very…’ began Greg.

‘I know who he is,’ I said, ‘I just didn’t recognise the photo.’

‘Yes, Peter used to sponsor Sai Baba to come over. He’s been here a few times. That picture was taken here.’

Greg went on to explain to the others that Sai Baba was also an internationally acclaimed and controversial healer and miracle worker. I was impressed that the log cabin had hosted such a well known figure.

After further discussions we began with an opening meditation in which Greg asked St Michael to visit us and give us a gift to help guide us.

Mine was a powder puff and a Barbie doll. As it didn’t mean much to me Greg suggested that perhaps I needed to pamper myself. I could definitely do with a bit of pampering.

The other woman saw a white lamb that nuzzled her palm and then ran off. I thought immediately of the nursery rhyme ‘Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day, that was against the rule, it made the children laugh and play, to see a lamb at school.’

I suggested that perhaps it meant she should explore ways to take her spirituality into school to work with children. As she works in a school where this kind of spirituality would be forbidden in its overt form (that was against the rule) I thought there was a link there to be explored.

Greg said I was wrong, that lambs were born in spring and spring represented new beginnings. I accept that I’m still a novice at this but I had a strong feeling that I had to tell her about the school link.

We then talked about many things, some which related to happenings in the log cabin prior to our time, some to healing practices such as Reiki and some to our own development.

I voiced my disappointment that we hadn’t been able to do more meditation because I felt my development was particularly linked to the messages I got through the meditations; sometimes directly and sometimes via others.

Greg was on the verge of taking us into another meditation but as it was ten minutes before the session was due to end and I’d had a busy day, and more to attend to when I got home, I wasn’t able to experience it.


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Session 37 – Dowsing

Session 37 – Number 242 July 8th 2013

We were six women today, including one new one that I hadn’t met before. It’s been a while since any male energy’s mingled in this group.

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

We began with the usual prayer and Mary asked us each to read a passage from Eileen Caddy’s book, Opening Doors Within. Not only did each reading hold relevance for the reader, it also resonated with the others in the group.

Mine began with the words ‘there is always one more rung of the ladder to climb.’ I laughed out loud and in response to the quizzical looks explained that I’ve been saying I think I’m ready to go to the next level with the mediumship work.

Following the readings Mary asked us to do a ten minute meditation to a beautiful piece of ‘angel’ music. After only a few minutes into the meditation I saw an old man with wispy grey hair sitting in a wheel chair. He was on the fourth floor of a block of flats looking out through the window.

He saw me and held up two fingers, then four, then two again. Mary called us back into the room before I had a chance to ask him who he was or what he meant.

No one in the room could take any of it. Not the man or the numbers – so I made a mental note to look up 242 in my numbers book when I got home.

The main activity was dowsing. As Mary had to leave due to an unmovable appointment Pauline took over the session. She had brought with her a most beautiful set of pendulums. Just looking at them was mouth-watering.

Crystal dowsing pendulum

Crystal dowsing pendulum

Dowsing is a very old activity and was one of the first divination techniques I leaned. It’s very simple and easy to use but I don’t always find it accurate, especially when I’m asking questions for myself. I often feel that I influence the dowser.

When Pauline suggested that we paired up to work together my partner and I decided to do readings from angels cards instead, as neither of us had any questions we wanted the dowser to answer. The problem with dowsing is that you can only ask questions which can be answered yes, no, or maybe. The cards enabled us to be more expansive.

She told me that September and November would be significant for me, and I told her she needed to focus on one thing at a time and learn how to accept help. She also needed to step up her game as a medium, which meant spending less time working with tools and more time meditating.

When I got home I looked up the meaning of 242.

‘This is a strong message from the angels, asking you to trust that everything is okay and working out in Divine and perfect order. With faith, all things are possible.’

I assumed this was a message for me as I’d had several earlier about trust and faith.

I thought no more of it until I was in my A Course in Miracles study group later that night. I picked a card which also talked of having faith.

‘This is the fifth time I’ve been told about faith today!’ I exclaimed.

‘So what were the others?’ Cath asked.

As I relayed the tale of the man in the meditation and his 242 Jill put her hand up and said, ‘I live at number 242, my house number is 242.’

I stopped mid-sentence and she continued.

‘My dad, who died three and a half years ago, had thin wispy hair.’

She wasn’t certain but said he could have used a wheelchair during his time in the home he was in before he died, and she wasn’t sure about the fourth floor flat either.

‘What was the message?’ she was eager to know. ‘Let me see if the message makes sense.’

When I told her the meaning of 242 she nodded and said ‘that makes perfect sense. It’s what he would have said.’

Well, as you can imagine, I was gobsmacked. That was the last thing I was expecting. Is this what going to another level mean? Is getting messages for people in a different place when the message is given the next level, or just a different version of the same level?

 


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Session 36 – Away with the fairies

June 27th 2013 (Thursday)

Tonight’s meditation was just pure fun. Cain took the group again, although Greg joined us, freshly baked from his holiday.

Rainbow

Rainbow

Cain told us he was going to take us on a meditation to connect with the fairy world, and to become pure light energy like them.

We began, the two men and five women, with a ball of light coming up from the earth through our bodies and then surrounding us as we walked down a leafy country lane in the bright sunshine.

When we came to a huge wall of light we went through it.

‘As you step through the wall of light you will feel your body becoming a pure ball of light. Feel yourself lifting up high above a meadow of wild flowers. What can you see?’ He asked.

‘Now focus on reducing your size, feel yourself getting smaller and smaller until the flowers are much bigger than you,’ Cain instructed us.

‘When you’re as small as you can get, look out for tiny elementals approaching you. I’m going to leave you here with them in the meadow for a while.’

As we began the meditation I felt very light, and had no difficulty floating up through the air after stepping through the wall of light.

I immediately focused of two majestic magenta peonies and headed straight for them. On the way, as I got smaller and smaller, a tiny flying elemental dressed in green leggings with dragonfly wings approached me.

She took me to play in the long grasses, bending them over and using them as slides. After a while she took me to a place under the cover of some leaves where a row of tiny pink hammocks lay empty.

‘Hop up here,’ she encouraged me from her hammock, ‘there’s something you need to find in here.’

Try as I might I could not raise myself high enough to get into the hammock, and after a while gave up.

She took me instead to the end of a rainbow where the rain fell in rainbow colours.We pretended it was a pool, diving and somersaulting through the drops. We seemed to be there for ages till Cain called us back into the room, through the wall of light again.

I was fascinated by the range of things experienced by the others in the group (as usual) and how different they were from mine. Some people saw guides; one joined a whole group of elementals in their work of repairing the damaged flowers and plants, and another went flying at great speed.

Cain said it was interesting that the hammocks I couldn’t reach were pink, because pink is a higher vibration to the rainbow colours.

We didn’t do any great analysis of the experiences, but I think mine was about making more time for fun.

I wonder what was in the pink hammocks that I needed to know, and whether I’ll get another chance soon to find out.


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Further down the rabbit hole

Sunday June 23rd 2013

Caribbean beach

Caribbean beach

On Thursday, during the meditation in the development session the facilitator said he could see a woman wrapped in a maroon cloak standing behind me holding an umbrella made of cane over my head. See the full story here.

I deduced from this that I was being told that there is a connection between me and the Maroons of Jamaica. I also wondered if I was being given a message to look at the link between Cameroon and the Maroons.

First I checked out the meaning of the colour maroon. There were two main meanings:

1)      It is symbolic of courage, bravery, heroism and strength.

2)      The colour is red-brown, like that obtained from clay and is associated with healing and power to repel malevolent spirits.

The Maroons in Jamaica represents all of the above. They were the runaway slaves who fought the British for their freedom 100 years before the official abolition of slavery.  They were, and still are, a very spiritual people. The current Maroon community in Jamaica still carries out a ritual in which they speak to the ancestors using MSL – Maroon Spirit Language.

But it wasn’t till I typed in ‘link between Maroons in Jamaica and Cameroon’ that I got the information that the original Maroons were made up of slaves taken from what is modern day Ghana and modern day Cameroon.

I just sat and stared at the screen. Not so much flabbergasted by the connections but by the means that I’d been made aware of them.

When I spoke to my sister-in-law tonight she said there is a Maroon community in Clarendon, which is where my mom is from.

I feel a trip to Jamaica to make connections with the Maroons coming on very shortly after my return from Cameroon.


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Session 35 – Skeletons in the desert

Thursday June 20th 2013

Pineapple

Pineapple

Greg is on holiday so we had a stand in. He began with a discussion about sitting in open and closed circles. I asked ‘what’s the difference between an open and a closed circle.’

‘In closed circles the emphasis is on working with spirit. Open circles are the apprenticeship to closed circles.’

‘How will you know when to move to a closed circle?’ I wanted to know.

‘Your guide, and your facilitator’s guide, will give you an indication when the time is right?’

He went on to explain that open circles mainly work psychically, and that this is an important part of working with energy. There is a point, however, where people feel drawn to work more spiritually. That’s the time to move, if the facilitator also agrees.

He told us he was going to take us through a guided meditation into the desert and leave us there for a while before asking us to return.

Before the meditation Cain (that’s his name and it is significant later) began by having us visualise a ball of light coming up from the ground through our feet, our ankles calves, waist torso and head.

He then began the meditation. He asked us to walk down a lane. I was a sunny day, no traffic, all peaceful. We came to a wall of light. Walk through the wall of light into the desert on the other side. On this side too there was blue sky and sand, but no trees or buildings. ‘I’m going to leave your here’ he said and call you back when it’s time to return.

When we began with the ball of light I felt the energy move through me, but it made me sleepy. By the time we got to the wall I’d have much preferred to drift off to sleep, but I felt like someone yanked me awake and told me I needed to do this one.

As I stepped through the wall of light I felt incredibly sad, and started to cry. Not ‘racking sobs’ as they say in all the romantic novels, but tears that were painful behind my eyes before dripping hotly onto my cheeks.

As I stood looking around at the vast expanse of nothingness I became aware of my grandmother beside me. She didn’t speak but looked on sympathetically as I took some tentative barefooted steps across the hot sand.

I soon got accustomed to the heat. We walked for some time before she offered me a wide brimmed straw-like hat.

When I looked at her quizzically she replied, ‘You’ll need it.’

We walked on a little more and came to a stop in front of  a spot of sand that started to bubble, like boiling water, or maybe more accurately like molten lava – slowly, with big bubbles.

I looked on in astonishment as three skeletons came up out of the sand. They stood in front of us. As I gawped I was aware of my grandma looking at me a step or two away.

The first skeleton started to grow flesh. When he was fully fleshed I asked him to show me his face. He was very dark, with a hooked nose, wide forehead and very cheekbones. He pulled a cloak around him. It was made of a fabric of yellow and green diamonds.

When he was finished the second skeleton went through the same process of growing flesh. He was slightly shorter and thinner. His cloak was grey, or more of a dirty white. While I was asking him to show his face Cain asked us to come back.

The third skeleton was waiting patiently but I didn’t have time to observe his re-skinning.

During feedback Cain said he was sorry I’d had a tearful experience, he’d hoped it would have been a pleasant one for everyone. (The others had fairly pleasant experiences). He said the skeletons coming up from the earth were to show that we come, stay for a while, go, and come again.

He said that when he looked in on my meditation he saw a woman behind me in a bright maroon cloak holding an umbrella over my head. He said it wasn’t in a material we’d normally associate with umbrella, ‘more like my namesake, cane,’ he added.

I was immediately curious as to what he meant by ‘looking in on my meditation’. He explained that at a certain level of training and experience you can actually connect with individual’s meditation.

I later told him that I’ve been doing some work on ancestry, and that there is a group in Jamaica called the Maroons, and that Jamaica is noted for sugar cane production – hence the umbrella being made of cane.

Someone else suggested that ‘flesh’ could mean words, as in ‘in the beginning was the word, and the word was made flesh.’

‘Could this have something to do with your writing?’ she asked.

I admitted that I’ve been referring to the ‘bones’ of the parenting course I’m writing, but it still needs a lot more flesh on it.

Later, while I was sharing this with a friend, I made a slip and said I needed to do more research on the Cameroons (meaning Maroons). In a split moment we both heard the link between Maroons and Cameroons.

Please, if you know anything about skeletons or deserts (there is one in Cameroon – does this mean I’m to go when I visit later this year?) please let me have your thoughts if you can see any more links or uncover any more layers.