Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery


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Is it possible to give a bad medium/psychic message?

On Tuesday I went to another spiritual development circle. There were six of us including the leader,(two men and four women). He reiterated that when we show up at circle we are sending out a message to spirit that we are willing to work with them. We had to focus on a person and try to get a message for them as we ‘connected’ with spirit.

Autumn dahlias in Rookery park

Autumn dahlias in Rookery park

I focused on the woman opposite me but she didn’t recognise anything that I told her. Not the name or the images I described.

Our leader said not to get disheartened, that sometimes the message is not obvious to the recipient, that later it may make sense after they’ve done more research.

The man next to me got loads of accurate stuff for one of the women. The others also got messages that others could ‘take’.

The leader told me to have another go as a bad message can demoralise a medium and have them go home feeling terrible.

My question was ‘is it possible to give a bad message?’ If we are channels and the message is simple passing through us, how can it ever be bad? It must serve a purpose either for the recipient or for the medium.

I wondered if maybe after the accuracy of the last meeting whether I was being given an opportunity to see how I would respond to not having someone ‘take’ everything I said.

I had another go focusing on the leader. He took most of what I said (apart from the name) but i wondered if he was being nice so I didn’t go home demoralised. He said no, much of what he said related to his mother.

So, my question again. Is is possible to give a bad message? Truly welcome any comments.


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The Way of the Shaman

I started back at spiritual development circle at Oak House on Tuesday night. It’s stated aim is to prepare participants for platform/rostrum work. I was amazed to be in the same group of one of my original mentors.

The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner

The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner

I had lengthy discussions about the role of mediumship in shamanic work, and have now accepted that the developing accuracy of my shamanic journeying is akin to good mediumistic messages.

Interesting that I should have been presented with a copy of Michael Harner definitive work on shamanism, ‘The Way of the Shaman’ as a gift on the night.


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Session 42 – Time for pastures new

29th August 2013 (Thursday)

PICT2188It’s been five weeks since I last went to circle. This is because I’ve been focusing on publishing Never on Sunday and also I been doing more shamanic work. I’ve been journeying most days and gaining amazing guidance. I will write up some of the more profound ones. Time is a factor at the moment as I’m preparing for Cameroon and trying to edit Love is Not a Reward.

There were eight of us at circle, five women and three men (including Greg). Of the eight of us three were new, at the start of their journeys and very excited my cards and the prospect of trying out psychometry and working with other tools.

After the relaxation meditation we focused on getting messages for each other. I got a message for one of the women.

I saw a toilet brush. The handle was the carved head of a horse. As it wasn’t obvious to me what the message was I asked, ‘what is it I need to tell her?’

‘That she needs to make a decision about how she’s going to handle the crap that’s in her life at the moment.’

It made sense to her, and was supported by the messages she got from others.

I’ve been thinking for some time that I’m getting more out of the shamanic journeying than out of these sessions and it was reinforced tonight.

Ribbon carousel

Ribbon carousel

I realise that these sessions were my introduction to a systematic way of connecting with spirit. The messages I received week after week gradually shifted me to this position. I recall too that it was here that shamanism was first mentioned to me and how resistive I was to the idea then.

I will of course be visiting Oak House from time to time for Sunday service, and to connect with some of the wonderful people who shared this part of my journey.

I know that Mary’s follows this blog, so she will be able to keep tabs on my goings on. Thanks for your blessings Mary.


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Session 41 – Soul retrieval and the chamber of treasures

Thursday 1st August 2013

We were five tonight, three women (including a new one) and two men including Greg.

We began with a relaxation meditation – which I really needed. It began with the usual deep breaths. ‘See any part of our body that’s in need of healing surrounded by the colour grey,’ Greg instructed us.

I focused on my broken finger (or should I say the finger that was broken ). Although I think the fracture has mended there is still some deep tissue bruising which is painful to touch, and the skin on that finger continues to peel, very slowly. I’m literally shedding old skin.

We then had to move white light through our bodies changing the grey to white, healing and rejuvenating any part of us that needed it.

Just before the meditation ended (and I’ve wondered about including this) I saw a couple of men pushing an old van. It was hot and they were naked from the waist down. They seemed unaware that their genitals were swinging for all to see. I didn’t mention this in the feedback. On reflection I’m wondering why. My own embarrassment? Not wanting to embarrass others? Maybe a bit of both?

Next we did a shamanic journey to retrieve parts of our soul and also to visit the chamber of treasures. The shamanic journeys we do here are different to the ones we did on the course a few weeks ago. These are guided, whereas the way I was taught is that you do your own journeying without any guidance from anyone.

‘Allow your luminous body to go into the earth, past the stones, tree roots, loose debris until you come to a river. Bathe in the river to remove anything that shouldn’t be taken into the lower world. Flow with the river till you come to a lake. Swim to the shore and find a power animal waiting there for you.’ Greg’s voice was soft but firm.

As I’ve been practicing on my own I’ve learned to go at my own pace and I’m beginning to find the guided ones a little too fast for me, so I don’t always get from one place to the other in time.

I travelled from my usual axis mundi and the jaguar came to meet me. He came with me to the room Greg directed us to and I saw a three-year-old version of me sitting in a corner with her knees pulled up to her chest looking a little lost and frightened.

I brought her into my heart as directed, but before I was fully integrated with her we were on the way to the chamber of treasures.

‘You will meet someone there who will give you something,’ Greg said.

I wasn’t given anything as I was still occupied with my younger self.

We retraced our steps and returned. Greg suggested that the little girl probably represented an event that happened when I was that age that I’ve never fully integrated and that this afforded the opportunity to do that.

The final meditation was one to open the 3rd eye.

We focused our energy initially on our third eye before allowing the energy to fill our heads. We then built a bridge between our third eye and the pineal gland.

My bridge was blue with sparks flying off it before it changed to turquoise.

‘See a screen ahead or you, like a movie screen,’ Greg began. ‘Look at it and project something on it from your 3rd eye.’

The Magician tarot card

The Magician tarot card

I saw a torch and picked it up. As I shone it at the screen it made lots of sideways 8 (Greg said the infinity sign) and then circles, then back to the sideways 8.

I’ve been seeing the number 8 a lot over the past month or so. I know one of the meanings is abundance and power, and another is, as Greg pointed out is infinity. I also remembered that the infinity sign features prominently on the Magician tarot card. (Ryder Waite version)


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Session 40 – I must be barking mad

Thursday 25th July 2013

We were seven tonight, two men and five women.

The bear in the bark

The bear in the bark

At the start of the day I pulled the rainbow card from my colour card pack, the second time in as many days. The message is ‘connect with spirit in nature.’ I decided to act on it and went for a walk in the park. I found a friendly looking sycamore tree and hugged it. As I did a piece of bark fell off and hit me on my head. Thinking it might be significant I picked it up and took it to circle with me. Greg said he would be happy to do a reading from it for me.

At the end of our meditations he was true to his word, but more than that he asked everyone else to say what they saw in the bark. As you can see from the picture one side was rough and the other smooth.

Greg saw a bear, and as soon as he mentioned it I could see it too (amazing that I’d looked at it all day and not been able to see the bear). Bear = boundaries. ‘It’s only when you can say a clear ‘no’ that you can say a clear ‘yes.’

It made sense because there’s an issue I’ve been struggling with for nearly six months involving boundaries.

Smooth bear in the bark

Smooth bear in the bark

Different members of the group saw the Hindu God Shiva = destroyer of the ego, the ‘evil eye’, and a Tibetan monk. One person thought it was trying to tell me that the rough and jagged past is behind me and a smoother future lay ahead with lots of spiritual growth (represented by the spiralling markings)

I’ve decided to add it to my altar, along with the stone from the shamanic weekend.


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Session 39 – Meeting my power animal

Thursday 18th July 2013

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1386Another small group, 3 men and two women but so different to last week.  We were in the log cabin again, but began our first relaxation meditation not long after 7.30.

Just as I closed my eyes to begin I saw two cats playing on the floor to the left of me.

As I’d mentioned to Greg that I was going on a shamanic workshop at the weekend he said he’d do a shamanic journey with us to meet our power animals. He’d very generously offered to help me choose a stone from the garden that would be suitable to take with me on the course. He thought the one I’d chosen was too big (not palm size as requested by the course but more something that could be used as a lethal weapon). He said it was likely to be the first of 13 alter stones if I decided to pursue a shamanic path therefore a smaller would be better.

He told us some of the basic differences between shamanism and spiritualism, but basically said there was a lot of overlap. He then took up on a shamanic journey (without the drums) to meet out power animals.

He ask us to climb up a hill and then down the other side.

‘Stop and look back at how far you’ve come,’ he said.

I was about half way down. He told us to look across the landscape to an island shrouded in mist. We were heading for the island but first we had to go through the woods that were directly in front of us.

‘Stand still and wait for a sign to show you which direction to go in,’ he said.

I waited. A coconut fell off a tree and rolled to my left. (What’s a coconut tree doing in a British woods!!!) Anyway, no time to think about it as we were being instructed that we had now come to a clearing where there was a lake and a ceremonial robe. We had to put it on.

There were seven robes on the ground in front of me, one in each colour of the rainbow. I had an internal tussle between the yellow and the purple one, but finally choose the purple.

‘Step into the lake,’ Greg instructed us, ‘and get into the canoe which you can now see.’

Wet and dripping I got in, marvelling at how things can just materialise in front of your very eyes in meditation.

We had to row across to the island, get out and choose between one of three paths, a wood, a river and a beach.

I really wanted to follow the river but found myself pulled to the beach.

‘Sit on a rock or a log. Close your eyes and wait for your power animal to come to you,’ he said. ‘Be aware that it could be huge like an elephant or tiny like a wren, or even an ant. When you feel your animal’s presence open your eyes and look at it.’

Even while Greg was still speaking I saw, in my mind’s eye, a sleek and graceful black jaguar walking down the beach towards me. When I opened my eyes I found myself looking deep into its eyes. His face was only inches away from me, but I felt no fear. In fact I felt the opposite, I felt completely safe.

‘Walk with your power animal,’ Greg told us.

As we began walking along the beach I could feel his power and knew he could and would protect me from anything.

‘Ask your power animal if it has a message for you,’ Greg said.

I waited for the jaguar to say something to me. When he spoke to me it was telepathically.

‘You’re stronger than you believe. You’re faster than you know. Never fear those who fear you.’ His voice was strong but soothing, and I was about to ask what he meant by ‘never fear those who fear you’, when Greg said,

‘You come to a river and have to get back into the boat.’

Power Animal Oracle Cards

Power Animal Oracle Cards

I was feeling a little sad that I had to leave but perked up when Greg said, ‘Your power animal gets in with you and you paddle back to the other side. When you get there get out of the canoe and immerse yourself into the water before coming back into the room.’

I reflected on my messages while the first person shared her journey. She too had seen a black jaguar, but had also had a bear and a bird. I’d look up Jaguar in my Power Animal pack with I got home.

The first two parts of my message made sense to me, but why would I fear those who fear me?

Greg said he felt it was about letting go of my fears, not just learning how to control them but letting go of them completely, because I had nothing to fear.

I mentioned the cats.

‘Was one of them black,’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ I replied wondering if he’d seen them too.

‘They are often in here,’ he said. They used to live here and their spirits obviously come back from time to time to visit.

‘Must be a thing with cats tonight,’ I joked.

Because three of us had unanswered questions from the meditation Greg suggested doing ten minute silent meditation to ask for answers. One was ‘Why am I constantly hot?’ Another ‘Why am I always rocking?’ A third was ‘How do I step into my power?’ and mine was ‘How do I get rid of my fear?’

Within minutes I felt a tremendous tingling in my back. It went on for some time. I began to wonder if it meant ‘don’t look back’ or ‘learn from the past’ or ‘don’t hold on to past hurts.’ I was still trying to work it out when Greg called us back.

One of the women said that tingling in the back is usually an indication that our angelic wings are being fitted, or if already fitted being adjusted, often being made bigger.

Greg thought it was about not focusing on the past, but looking to the future.

I’m still not sure. Do you have any other suggestions???

 


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Session 38 – Sai Baba was here

Thursday 11th July 2013

Summer fruits in Erdington Brmingham

Summer fruits in Erdington Brmingham

There were only five of us tonight – for the first time the men outnumbered the women three to two. It was a beautiful evening and we sat chatting in the garden before heading to the log cabin where the chat continued for quite a while longer.

I was fascinated by a photo I’d not noticed before.

‘Is that a picture of Peter as a young man?’ I asked Greg. Peter was the founder of the centre and a well respected international medium.

‘That’s actually a picture of Sai Baba,’ he replied.

‘Sai Baba?’ I was surprised as it didn’t look like the ones I’ve seen of him.

‘Yes, Sai Baba was a very…’ began Greg.

‘I know who he is,’ I said, ‘I just didn’t recognise the photo.’

‘Yes, Peter used to sponsor Sai Baba to come over. He’s been here a few times. That picture was taken here.’

Greg went on to explain to the others that Sai Baba was also an internationally acclaimed and controversial healer and miracle worker. I was impressed that the log cabin had hosted such a well known figure.

After further discussions we began with an opening meditation in which Greg asked St Michael to visit us and give us a gift to help guide us.

Mine was a powder puff and a Barbie doll. As it didn’t mean much to me Greg suggested that perhaps I needed to pamper myself. I could definitely do with a bit of pampering.

The other woman saw a white lamb that nuzzled her palm and then ran off. I thought immediately of the nursery rhyme ‘Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day, that was against the rule, it made the children laugh and play, to see a lamb at school.’

I suggested that perhaps it meant she should explore ways to take her spirituality into school to work with children. As she works in a school where this kind of spirituality would be forbidden in its overt form (that was against the rule) I thought there was a link there to be explored.

Greg said I was wrong, that lambs were born in spring and spring represented new beginnings. I accept that I’m still a novice at this but I had a strong feeling that I had to tell her about the school link.

We then talked about many things, some which related to happenings in the log cabin prior to our time, some to healing practices such as Reiki and some to our own development.

I voiced my disappointment that we hadn’t been able to do more meditation because I felt my development was particularly linked to the messages I got through the meditations; sometimes directly and sometimes via others.

Greg was on the verge of taking us into another meditation but as it was ten minutes before the session was due to end and I’d had a busy day, and more to attend to when I got home, I wasn’t able to experience it.


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Session 37 – Dowsing

Session 37 – Number 242 July 8th 2013

We were six women today, including one new one that I hadn’t met before. It’s been a while since any male energy’s mingled in this group.

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

We began with the usual prayer and Mary asked us each to read a passage from Eileen Caddy’s book, Opening Doors Within. Not only did each reading hold relevance for the reader, it also resonated with the others in the group.

Mine began with the words ‘there is always one more rung of the ladder to climb.’ I laughed out loud and in response to the quizzical looks explained that I’ve been saying I think I’m ready to go to the next level with the mediumship work.

Following the readings Mary asked us to do a ten minute meditation to a beautiful piece of ‘angel’ music. After only a few minutes into the meditation I saw an old man with wispy grey hair sitting in a wheel chair. He was on the fourth floor of a block of flats looking out through the window.

He saw me and held up two fingers, then four, then two again. Mary called us back into the room before I had a chance to ask him who he was or what he meant.

No one in the room could take any of it. Not the man or the numbers – so I made a mental note to look up 242 in my numbers book when I got home.

The main activity was dowsing. As Mary had to leave due to an unmovable appointment Pauline took over the session. She had brought with her a most beautiful set of pendulums. Just looking at them was mouth-watering.

Crystal dowsing pendulum

Crystal dowsing pendulum

Dowsing is a very old activity and was one of the first divination techniques I leaned. It’s very simple and easy to use but I don’t always find it accurate, especially when I’m asking questions for myself. I often feel that I influence the dowser.

When Pauline suggested that we paired up to work together my partner and I decided to do readings from angels cards instead, as neither of us had any questions we wanted the dowser to answer. The problem with dowsing is that you can only ask questions which can be answered yes, no, or maybe. The cards enabled us to be more expansive.

She told me that September and November would be significant for me, and I told her she needed to focus on one thing at a time and learn how to accept help. She also needed to step up her game as a medium, which meant spending less time working with tools and more time meditating.

When I got home I looked up the meaning of 242.

This is a strong message from the angels, asking you to trust that everything is okay and working out in Divine and perfect order. With faith, all things are possible.’

I assumed this was a message for me as I’d had several earlier about trust and faith.

I thought no more of it until I was in my A Course in Miracles study group later that night. I picked a card which also talked of having faith.

‘This is the fifth time I’ve been told about faith today!’ I exclaimed.

‘So what were the others?’ Cath asked.

As I relayed the tale of the man in the meditation and his 242 Jill put her hand up and said, ‘I live at number 242, my house number is 242.’

I stopped mid-sentence and she continued.

‘My dad, who died three and a half years ago, had thin wispy hair.’

She wasn’t certain but said he could have used a wheelchair during his time in the home he was in before he died, and she wasn’t sure about the fourth floor flat either.

‘What was the message?’ she was eager to know. ‘Let me see if the message makes sense.’

When I told her the meaning of 242 she nodded and said ‘that makes perfect sense. It’s what he would have said.’

Well, as you can imagine, I was gobsmacked. That was the last thing I was expecting. Is this what going to another level mean? Is getting messages for people in a different place when the message is given the next level, or just a different version of the same level?

 


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Session 36 – Away with the fairies

June 27th 2013 (Thursday)

Tonight’s meditation was just pure fun. Cain took the group again, although Greg joined us, freshly baked from his holiday.

Rainbow

Rainbow

Cain told us he was going to take us on a meditation to connect with the fairy world, and to become pure light energy like them.

We began, the two men and five women, with a ball of light coming up from the earth through our bodies and then surrounding us as we walked down a leafy country lane in the bright sunshine.

When we came to a huge wall of light we went through it.

‘As you step through the wall of light you will feel your body becoming a pure ball of light. Feel yourself lifting up high above a meadow of wild flowers. What can you see?’ He asked.

‘Now focus on reducing your size, feel yourself getting smaller and smaller until the flowers are much bigger than you,’ Cain instructed us.

‘When you’re as small as you can get, look out for tiny elementals approaching you. I’m going to leave you here with them in the meadow for a while.’

As we began the meditation I felt very light, and had no difficulty floating up through the air after stepping through the wall of light.

I immediately focused of two majestic magenta peonies and headed straight for them. On the way, as I got smaller and smaller, a tiny flying elemental dressed in green leggings with dragonfly wings approached me.

She took me to play in the long grasses, bending them over and using them as slides. After a while she took me to a place under the cover of some leaves where a row of tiny pink hammocks lay empty.

‘Hop up here,’ she encouraged me from her hammock, ‘there’s something you need to find in here.’

Try as I might I could not raise myself high enough to get into the hammock, and after a while gave up.

She took me instead to the end of a rainbow where the rain fell in rainbow colours.We pretended it was a pool, diving and somersaulting through the drops. We seemed to be there for ages till Cain called us back into the room, through the wall of light again.

I was fascinated by the range of things experienced by the others in the group (as usual) and how different they were from mine. Some people saw guides; one joined a whole group of elementals in their work of repairing the damaged flowers and plants, and another went flying at great speed.

Cain said it was interesting that the hammocks I couldn’t reach were pink, because pink is a higher vibration to the rainbow colours.

We didn’t do any great analysis of the experiences, but I think mine was about making more time for fun.

I wonder what was in the pink hammocks that I needed to know, and whether I’ll get another chance soon to find out.


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Session 35 – Skeletons in the desert

Thursday June 20th 2013

Pineapple

Pineapple

Greg is on holiday so we had a stand in. He began with a discussion about sitting in open and closed circles. I asked ‘what’s the difference between an open and a closed circle.’

‘In closed circles the emphasis is on working with spirit. Open circles are the apprenticeship to closed circles.’

‘How will you know when to move to a closed circle?’ I wanted to know.

‘Your guide, and your facilitator’s guide, will give you an indication when the time is right?’

He went on to explain that open circles mainly work psychically, and that this is an important part of working with energy. There is a point, however, where people feel drawn to work more spiritually. That’s the time to move, if the facilitator also agrees.

He told us he was going to take us through a guided meditation into the desert and leave us there for a while before asking us to return.

Before the meditation Cain (that’s his name and it is significant later) began by having us visualise a ball of light coming up from the ground through our feet, our ankles calves, waist torso and head.

He then began the meditation. He asked us to walk down a lane. I was a sunny day, no traffic, all peaceful. We came to a wall of light. Walk through the wall of light into the desert on the other side. On this side too there was blue sky and sand, but no trees or buildings. ‘I’m going to leave your here’ he said and call you back when it’s time to return.

When we began with the ball of light I felt the energy move through me, but it made me sleepy. By the time we got to the wall I’d have much preferred to drift off to sleep, but I felt like someone yanked me awake and told me I needed to do this one.

As I stepped through the wall of light I felt incredibly sad, and started to cry. Not ‘racking sobs’ as they say in all the romantic novels, but tears that were painful behind my eyes before dripping hotly onto my cheeks.

As I stood looking around at the vast expanse of nothingness I became aware of my grandmother beside me. She didn’t speak but looked on sympathetically as I took some tentative barefooted steps across the hot sand.

I soon got accustomed to the heat. We walked for some time before she offered me a wide brimmed straw-like hat.

When I looked at her quizzically she replied, ‘You’ll need it.’

We walked on a little more and came to a stop in front of  a spot of sand that started to bubble, like boiling water, or maybe more accurately like molten lava – slowly, with big bubbles.

I looked on in astonishment as three skeletons came up out of the sand. They stood in front of us. As I gawped I was aware of my grandma looking at me a step or two away.

The first skeleton started to grow flesh. When he was fully fleshed I asked him to show me his face. He was very dark, with a hooked nose, wide forehead and very cheekbones. He pulled a cloak around him. It was made of a fabric of yellow and green diamonds.

When he was finished the second skeleton went through the same process of growing flesh. He was slightly shorter and thinner. His cloak was grey, or more of a dirty white. While I was asking him to show his face Cain asked us to come back.

The third skeleton was waiting patiently but I didn’t have time to observe his re-skinning.

During feedback Cain said he was sorry I’d had a tearful experience, he’d hoped it would have been a pleasant one for everyone. (The others had fairly pleasant experiences). He said the skeletons coming up from the earth were to show that we come, stay for a while, go, and come again.

He said that when he looked in on my meditation he saw a woman behind me in a bright maroon cloak holding an umbrella over my head. He said it wasn’t in a material we’d normally associate with umbrella, ‘more like my namesake, cane,’ he added.

I was immediately curious as to what he meant by ‘looking in on my meditation’. He explained that at a certain level of training and experience you can actually connect with individual’s meditation.

I later told him that I’ve been doing some work on ancestry, and that there is a group in Jamaica called the Maroons, and that Jamaica is noted for sugar cane production – hence the umbrella being made of cane.

Someone else suggested that ‘flesh’ could mean words, as in ‘in the beginning was the word, and the word was made flesh.’

‘Could this have something to do with your writing?’ she asked.

I admitted that I’ve been referring to the ‘bones’ of the parenting course I’m writing, but it still needs a lot more flesh on it.

Later, while I was sharing this with a friend, I made a slip and said I needed to do more research on the Cameroons (meaning Maroons). In a split moment we both heard the link between Maroons and Cameroons.

Please, if you know anything about skeletons or deserts (there is one in Cameroon – does this mean I’m to go when I visit later this year?) please let me have your thoughts if you can see any more links or uncover any more layers.