Thursday June 20^th 2013

Greg is on holiday so we had a stand in. He began with a discussion about sitting in open and closed circles. I asked ‘what’s the difference between an open and a closed circle.’

‘In closed circles the emphasis is on working with spirit. Open circles are the apprenticeship to closed circles.’

‘How will you know when to move to a closed circle?’ I wanted to know.

‘Your guide, and your facilitator’s guide, will give you an indication when the time is right?’

He went on to explain that open circles mainly work psychically, and that this is an important part of working with energy. There is a point, however, where people feel drawn to work more spiritually. That’s the time to move, if the facilitator also agrees.

He told us he was going to take us through a guided meditation into the desert and leave us there for a while before asking us to return.

Before the meditation Cain (that’s his name and it is significant later) began by having us visualise a ball of light coming up from the ground through our feet, our ankles calves, waist torso and head.

He then began the meditation. He asked us to walk down a lane. I was a sunny day, no traffic, all peaceful. We came to a wall of light. Walk through the wall of light into the desert on the other side. On this side too there was blue sky and sand, but no trees or buildings. ‘I’m going to leave your here’ he said and call you back when it’s time to return.

When we began with the ball of light I felt the energy move through me, but it made me sleepy. By the time we got to the wall I’d have much preferred to drift off to sleep, but I felt like someone yanked me awake and told me I needed to do this one.

As I stepped through the wall of light I felt incredibly sad, and started to cry. Not ‘racking sobs’ as they say in all the romantic novels, but tears that were painful behind my eyes before dripping hotly onto my cheeks.

As I stood looking around at the vast expanse of nothingness I became aware of my grandmother beside me. She didn’t speak but looked on sympathetically as I took some tentative barefooted steps across the hot sand.

I soon got accustomed to the heat. We walked for some time before she offered me a wide brimmed straw-like hat.

When I looked at her quizzically she replied, ‘You’ll need it.’

We walked on a little more and came to a stop in front of  a spot of sand that started to bubble, like boiling water, or maybe more accurately like molten lava – slowly, with big bubbles.

I looked on in astonishment as three skeletons came up out of the sand. They stood in front of us. As I gawped I was aware of my grandma looking at me a step or two away.

The first skeleton started to grow flesh. When he was fully fleshed I asked him to show me his face. He was very dark, with a hooked nose, wide forehead and very cheekbones. He pulled a cloak around him. It was made of a fabric of yellow and green diamonds.

When he was finished the second skeleton went through the same process of growing flesh. He was slightly shorter and thinner. His cloak was grey, or more of a dirty white. While I was asking him to show his face Cain asked us to come back.

The third skeleton was waiting patiently but I didn’t have time to observe his re-skinning.

During feedback Cain said he was sorry I’d had a tearful experience, he’d hoped it would have been a pleasant one for everyone. (The others had fairly pleasant experiences). He said the skeletons coming up from the earth were to show that we come, stay for a while, go, and come again.

He said that when he looked in on my meditation he saw a woman behind me in a bright maroon cloak holding an umbrella over my head. He said it wasn’t in a material we’d normally associate with umbrella, ‘more like my namesake, cane,’ he added.

I was immediately curious as to what he meant by ‘looking in on my meditation’. He explained that at a certain level of training and experience you can actually connect with individual’s meditation.

I later told him that I’ve been doing some work on ancestry, and that there is a group in Jamaica called the Maroons, and that Jamaica is noted for sugar cane production – hence the umbrella being made of cane.

Someone else suggested that ‘flesh’ could mean words, as in ‘in the beginning was the word, and the word was made flesh.’

‘Could this have something to do with your writing?’ she asked.

I admitted that I’ve been referring to the ‘bones’ of the parenting course I’m writing, but it still needs a lot more flesh on it.

Later, while I was sharing this with a friend, I made a slip and said I needed to do more research on the Cameroons (meaning Maroons). In a split moment we both heard the link between Maroons and Cameroons.

Please, if you know anything about skeletons or deserts (there is one in Cameroon – does this mean I’m to go when I visit later this year?) please let me have your thoughts if you can see any more links or uncover any more layers.