Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery


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Session 38 – Sai Baba was here

Thursday 11th July 2013

Summer fruits in Erdington Brmingham

Summer fruits in Erdington Brmingham

There were only five of us tonight – for the first time the men outnumbered the women three to two. It was a beautiful evening and we sat chatting in the garden before heading to the log cabin where the chat continued for quite a while longer.

I was fascinated by a photo I’d not noticed before.

‘Is that a picture of Peter as a young man?’ I asked Greg. Peter was the founder of the centre and a well respected international medium.

‘That’s actually a picture of Sai Baba,’ he replied.

‘Sai Baba?’ I was surprised as it didn’t look like the ones I’ve seen of him.

‘Yes, Sai Baba was a very…’ began Greg.

‘I know who he is,’ I said, ‘I just didn’t recognise the photo.’

‘Yes, Peter used to sponsor Sai Baba to come over. He’s been here a few times. That picture was taken here.’

Greg went on to explain to the others that Sai Baba was also an internationally acclaimed and controversial healer and miracle worker. I was impressed that the log cabin had hosted such a well known figure.

After further discussions we began with an opening meditation in which Greg asked St Michael to visit us and give us a gift to help guide us.

Mine was a powder puff and a Barbie doll. As it didn’t mean much to me Greg suggested that perhaps I needed to pamper myself. I could definitely do with a bit of pampering.

The other woman saw a white lamb that nuzzled her palm and then ran off. I thought immediately of the nursery rhyme ‘Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day, that was against the rule, it made the children laugh and play, to see a lamb at school.’

I suggested that perhaps it meant she should explore ways to take her spirituality into school to work with children. As she works in a school where this kind of spirituality would be forbidden in its overt form (that was against the rule) I thought there was a link there to be explored.

Greg said I was wrong, that lambs were born in spring and spring represented new beginnings. I accept that I’m still a novice at this but I had a strong feeling that I had to tell her about the school link.

We then talked about many things, some which related to happenings in the log cabin prior to our time, some to healing practices such as Reiki and some to our own development.

I voiced my disappointment that we hadn’t been able to do more meditation because I felt my development was particularly linked to the messages I got through the meditations; sometimes directly and sometimes via others.

Greg was on the verge of taking us into another meditation but as it was ten minutes before the session was due to end and I’d had a busy day, and more to attend to when I got home, I wasn’t able to experience it.


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Family Constellation Part 2

Hereford Constellation Part Two 30th June 2013

As well as bringing your own issues to Family Constellation there is great learning to be had from participating in other people’s issues. A group will uncannily reflect each other in what they bring, and so what isn’t addressed directly in your own constellation can be addressed in someone else’s.

The following are offered as examples of my own learning and does not reflect the full constellation for the persons involved. They will also offer an insight into the interrelatedness of issues in the group. For that I would need their permission and I haven’t sought that. All the names have been changed.

In Phillip’s constellation I represented South Africa (he was Africa in mine). It transpired that some of his issues resulted in the black side of the family being rejected.

In Kelly’s I represented her. There were issues around unborn children, the same number as me. In fact three of us in the group had lost children prior to birth, and needed to do an exercise around placing our existing children in their rightful order. (I cover this in greater detail in Constellation One).

In an addendum to the constellation Kelly’s issues with her own mother were being addressed.

Shakti asked her to say, ‘You are the right mother for me. I am the right daughter for you. You were exactly the mother I needed to learn the lessons I needed to learn.’

I realised as she spoke that these were words I could easily have said to Jamaica. ‘You are the right mother land for me.’

During the ensuing discussion along the lines of ‘the more difficult the relationship the bigger the lessons and the stronger it makes you when you’ve learned them’ I realised that I learned a lot from being Jamaican, and that I will learn a lot more as a result of Jamaica’s difficulties. If I’d wanted easy lesson I’d have chosen to be born somewhere more quiet and sedate.

But no – I chose Jamaica for the lessons it could teach me, just like I choose my biological parents for the lessons they could teach me.

I need to examine Jamaica more closely to understand how she runs through my veins, and claim this tiny island that has such influence on the world stage.

In addition to the constellations Shakti did a couple of exercises with the whole group.

  1. In one we had to work in pairs. The first person had to open his arms and allow me to walk into them. Then we swopped over. This was to teach us how to allow people and thing to come to us, rather than chasing after them.
  2. In the second exercise we had to choose a partner to represent someone in our lives to whom we had something important to say. We had to say it as if we were on our death bed with only two minutes to live. It really helps to focus the mind on how to let go of things that don’t matter, to cut through the fluff and get straight to the point.
  3. In another we gave ancestral healing to two people in the group.

This is the most profound form of revealing and healing family dysfunction that I’ve ever encountered. I’m putting together my other experiences into a booklet. The contents are much more intense and involved more people, and would be too long as blog entries.

If you’re interested I’d recommend Trauma, Bonding and Family Constellation by Franz Rupert and Bert Hellinger’s website.


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Session 37 – Dowsing

Session 37 – Number 242 July 8th 2013

We were six women today, including one new one that I hadn’t met before. It’s been a while since any male energy’s mingled in this group.

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

We began with the usual prayer and Mary asked us each to read a passage from Eileen Caddy’s book, Opening Doors Within. Not only did each reading hold relevance for the reader, it also resonated with the others in the group.

Mine began with the words ‘there is always one more rung of the ladder to climb.’ I laughed out loud and in response to the quizzical looks explained that I’ve been saying I think I’m ready to go to the next level with the mediumship work.

Following the readings Mary asked us to do a ten minute meditation to a beautiful piece of ‘angel’ music. After only a few minutes into the meditation I saw an old man with wispy grey hair sitting in a wheel chair. He was on the fourth floor of a block of flats looking out through the window.

He saw me and held up two fingers, then four, then two again. Mary called us back into the room before I had a chance to ask him who he was or what he meant.

No one in the room could take any of it. Not the man or the numbers – so I made a mental note to look up 242 in my numbers book when I got home.

The main activity was dowsing. As Mary had to leave due to an unmovable appointment Pauline took over the session. She had brought with her a most beautiful set of pendulums. Just looking at them was mouth-watering.

Crystal dowsing pendulum

Crystal dowsing pendulum

Dowsing is a very old activity and was one of the first divination techniques I leaned. It’s very simple and easy to use but I don’t always find it accurate, especially when I’m asking questions for myself. I often feel that I influence the dowser.

When Pauline suggested that we paired up to work together my partner and I decided to do readings from angels cards instead, as neither of us had any questions we wanted the dowser to answer. The problem with dowsing is that you can only ask questions which can be answered yes, no, or maybe. The cards enabled us to be more expansive.

She told me that September and November would be significant for me, and I told her she needed to focus on one thing at a time and learn how to accept help. She also needed to step up her game as a medium, which meant spending less time working with tools and more time meditating.

When I got home I looked up the meaning of 242.

‘This is a strong message from the angels, asking you to trust that everything is okay and working out in Divine and perfect order. With faith, all things are possible.’

I assumed this was a message for me as I’d had several earlier about trust and faith.

I thought no more of it until I was in my A Course in Miracles study group later that night. I picked a card which also talked of having faith.

‘This is the fifth time I’ve been told about faith today!’ I exclaimed.

‘So what were the others?’ Cath asked.

As I relayed the tale of the man in the meditation and his 242 Jill put her hand up and said, ‘I live at number 242, my house number is 242.’

I stopped mid-sentence and she continued.

‘My dad, who died three and a half years ago, had thin wispy hair.’

She wasn’t certain but said he could have used a wheelchair during his time in the home he was in before he died, and she wasn’t sure about the fourth floor flat either.

‘What was the message?’ she was eager to know. ‘Let me see if the message makes sense.’

When I told her the meaning of 242 she nodded and said ‘that makes perfect sense. It’s what he would have said.’

Well, as you can imagine, I was gobsmacked. That was the last thing I was expecting. Is this what going to another level mean? Is getting messages for people in a different place when the message is given the next level, or just a different version of the same level?

 


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Family Constellation

Hereford Constellation  Part One 30th June 2013

Place – a village hall just outside Hereford

Weather – bright and sunny – and warm

Participants- 5 women 3 men

Facilitator – Shakti

 

English garden in the summer

English garden in the summer

Shakti welcomed us and gave a brief introduction to the process of constellation for the first timer. She explained that it was an honour to be chosen to take part in someone else’s constellation, that it wasn’t essential to particpate but it was advisable because there is much to be gained from simply being involved. The first timer was about to find out how true that is.

She began with a meditation where we had to see our parents in front of us and honour them by bowing to them. We then had to imagine our grandparents and all our ancestors behind us and lean back into them for support.

By way of introduction each participant had to say their name, where they were from, and how easy or otherwise it was to bow and lean. Most of us found it relatively easy to lean back into our ancestors, but some, about half the group, experienced some difficulty bowing to their parents.

We also had to give a brief account of what issue brought us to the constellation, and what we hoped to gain from participating. There’s a weird thing that happens at these moments for me. Apart from the very first constellation where I was very clear about the issue, (because it had been with me for 23 years) when I get to this stage I find myself describing something other than the issue I thought I was bringing.

Initially I thought I wanted to do some work around relationships, but I found myself talking about not feeling connected to any one place, that I had a kind of ‘wherever-I-lay-my-hat-that’s-my-home’ syndrome, and that I’d planned to go to Cameroon to see if I would feel at home there.

When all the introductions were done, all the issues raised, Shakti asked for a volunteer to take the seat beside her and begin the first constellation. It was one of those occasions where everyone looked down as her eyes scanned the room. I wasn’t quick enough and they rested on me.

‘Looks like it’s you,’ she said patting the chair beside her.

I walked to that now familiar place beside the facilitator. (This is my 6th Constellation). Shakti said that my introduction was very clear and we went straight into the constellation without further ado.

‘Chose someone to represent Africa,’ she instructed.

I chose the first-timer who was to the right of me, and he stood up looking a little bewildered.

English summer fruits

English summer fruits

‘Choose someone to represent England,’ Shakti said.

I choose a tall gentleman that I met at the last constellation who stood up on the opposite side of the room to Africa.

‘Now choose someone to represent Jamaica,’ she said.

My eyes were immediately drawn to a woman sitting opposite me. She had slightly greying hair and a warm smile.

She stood up and immediately began dancing slowly around in a kind of circle. I had inadvertently formed a triangle with them, and one of the points was dancing.

Shakti placed me opposite Africa who immediately opened his arms. I looked but didn’t move. He smiled and I felt anger rising. What the hell does he have to smile at, I thought. In the lengthening standoff I became aware of England behind me, close and intimidating.

I was very uncomfortable with England’s presence and began moving away. He followed. I kept moving until I was close to Jamaica. England moved back to his original position.

Noticing that I was between Africa and Jamaica I wanted to hold both their outstretched hands, but they were too far apart. I took hold of one of Jamaica’s hands and tried to pull her towards Africa. She didn’t budge.

‘You can’t move a country,’ Shakti said.

I dropped Jamaica’s hand and looked back and forth at her and Africa until Shakti moved me and placed me in front of Jamaica. I ignored Jamaica’s open arms. After a while Shakti said,

‘Say to Jamaica “You are my mother country.’

I couldn’t. It took four goes before I could finally force the words out.

Shakti made me say it three times until I could say it without hesitation and with a modicum of conviction.

I took the outstretched hands stiffly.

‘Kneel down in front of Jamaica,’ Shakti instructed, ‘and say “I honour you. You are my mother country, you gave me life, and you are where I was born.

Jamaica kept hold of both my hands and smiled, as if my words were music to her ears.

When I finally stood up Shakti told me, ‘say again, “I honour you my mother country.”’

I was tense and the words were still sticking.

‘Do you have back problems?’ Shakti asked.

The question caught me off guard. What did back problems have to do with this situation?

‘No.’ I answered defiantly and immediately felt a strong thump in the centre of my back. I felt a jolt, and the words began to flow more freely.

Caribbean beach

Caribbean beach

As I stepped into Jamaica’s open arms I felt the tears spring into my eyes and gently roll down my face. Jamaica hugged me. A long, firm hug. After a while I felt able to hug her back.

Shakti then placed me in front of England and made me repeat after her,

‘You are England. You’ve provided me with a home. I’ve lived here but Jamaica is my mother land. I was born there, I wasn’t born here. You’ve given me a lot. Education, work, and a place to live for which I am grateful.’

With the imprint of Jamaica’s hug still lingering on my body the words flowed easily from my lips to England’s waiting ears. He smiled and nodded his acceptance of my gratitude.

Shakti placed me in front of Africa. The words I had to say to him were,

‘You are Africa. You are where my ancestors were born. Jamaica is my mother land. You are the mother land of my ancestors, but you are not my mother land. I love you as the birth place of my ancestors.’

Africa opened his arms again, and this time I was able to step into them and readily return his tight hug.

‘OK, we can break here,’ Shakti said.

During the feedback part of the constellation Shakti explained that although I had such difficulty acknowledging my mother land, that Jamaica was the only one I’d chosen a woman to represent. This was a sure sign that my soul, my higher self, knew the significance of mother land.

The reason I have not been able to call anywhere ‘home’ is because I’d never properly acknowledged and honoured Jamaica as my mother land. Now that I’ve done that I will be able to feel at home anywhere I choose.

‘It doesn’t mean you have to live in Jamaica, but she now has her rightful place in your heart.’

When I explained that I was trying to pull Jamaica to Africa so I could connect with both, Shakti suggested that I could bring a small, symbolic piece of earth back from Cameroon and from Jamaica so I can be connected with both places.

Back in my seat I sat and reflected on the experience I shared with my ancestors. That  of leaving the land that I knew and loved, and being taken to a strange place with different climate, people and customs.

It hadn’t answered the question of why I chosen to be born in Jamaica, but I felt I was one step closer to finding that piece of the jig saw.


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Breakages

Summer rose

Summer rose

There have been a lot of breakages over the last week. I’m not sure what it’s about.

a)      In the early hours of Sunday a window and a door were violently broken. An opportunity to practice unconditional love?

b)      On Monday my index and middle fingers wee violently crushed by a heavy descending sash window. The middle finger, while badly bruised and swollen was not broken. The index finger was. An opportunity to practice healing? Despite being told on the night(after three and a half hours in A&E) that it wasn’t, I got a call from the hospital on Thursday morning to say closer scrutiny of the x-ray had revealed a small fracture at the tip of the finger. An opportunity to practice forgiveness?

c)       On Thursday a close friend told me of his broken marriage. An opportunity to practice compassion?

d)      On Friday a client broke an appointment without notice. An opportunity to practice acceptance?

e)      On Saturday I broke open a bottle of Appleton Special at a friend’s BBQ. An opportunity to practice relaxation and have a little fun.

It’s been a hectic week.  I didn’t attend circle Monday or Thursday. Typing was difficult with crushed fingers but I just about managed to write up the Family Constellation day I went to last Sunday. I hope this week will be more sedate.


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Session 36 – Away with the fairies

June 27th 2013 (Thursday)

Tonight’s meditation was just pure fun. Cain took the group again, although Greg joined us, freshly baked from his holiday.

Rainbow

Rainbow

Cain told us he was going to take us on a meditation to connect with the fairy world, and to become pure light energy like them.

We began, the two men and five women, with a ball of light coming up from the earth through our bodies and then surrounding us as we walked down a leafy country lane in the bright sunshine.

When we came to a huge wall of light we went through it.

‘As you step through the wall of light you will feel your body becoming a pure ball of light. Feel yourself lifting up high above a meadow of wild flowers. What can you see?’ He asked.

‘Now focus on reducing your size, feel yourself getting smaller and smaller until the flowers are much bigger than you,’ Cain instructed us.

‘When you’re as small as you can get, look out for tiny elementals approaching you. I’m going to leave you here with them in the meadow for a while.’

As we began the meditation I felt very light, and had no difficulty floating up through the air after stepping through the wall of light.

I immediately focused of two majestic magenta peonies and headed straight for them. On the way, as I got smaller and smaller, a tiny flying elemental dressed in green leggings with dragonfly wings approached me.

She took me to play in the long grasses, bending them over and using them as slides. After a while she took me to a place under the cover of some leaves where a row of tiny pink hammocks lay empty.

‘Hop up here,’ she encouraged me from her hammock, ‘there’s something you need to find in here.’

Try as I might I could not raise myself high enough to get into the hammock, and after a while gave up.

She took me instead to the end of a rainbow where the rain fell in rainbow colours.We pretended it was a pool, diving and somersaulting through the drops. We seemed to be there for ages till Cain called us back into the room, through the wall of light again.

I was fascinated by the range of things experienced by the others in the group (as usual) and how different they were from mine. Some people saw guides; one joined a whole group of elementals in their work of repairing the damaged flowers and plants, and another went flying at great speed.

Cain said it was interesting that the hammocks I couldn’t reach were pink, because pink is a higher vibration to the rainbow colours.

We didn’t do any great analysis of the experiences, but I think mine was about making more time for fun.

I wonder what was in the pink hammocks that I needed to know, and whether I’ll get another chance soon to find out.


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Henry Morgan and the Oversoul

Thursday June 27th 2013

There’s a line in a Bob Marley song that says ‘Don’t forget your history. Know your destiny.’ (From the song Rat Race).

Sunset in the Caribbean

Sunset in the Caribbean

Evidently spirit thinks I’ve forgotten mine and seem to be setting out to remind me. It’s beginning to feel like my connection with spirit is one big history lesson.

I was at a meeting on Monday night and drifted into a conversation with my grandmother. Remembering Greg’s and Cain’s advice to ask our guides to reveal as much information about themselves as possible I said, ‘Come on Grandma, why don’t you show me your face?’ Strange though it may seem I’ve never seen a photo of my grandmother, and never met her in person as she died way before I was born.

I sat and waited. Nothing happened. I softened my gaze and looked into the glass panel of the door facing me. Nothing. I gazed a bit more. Gradually the profile of a face appeared.

Well, as you can imagine, I was fascinated. It became clearer the more I looked. It was a strong face with what appeared to be a mass of curly hair. The eye (remember I’m seeing it in profile) was deep-set, and the was chin long and curved. But it was the nose that surprised me. It was large and quite straight. Throughout the night I looked up and it was still there.

I wanted to call my friend when I got home to let her know what had happened, but I received a text that a colleague had committed suicide and felt the need to speak to the person who’d sent it to me instead. As A Course In Miracles practitioners we both agreed that he could now find the peace he found it so hard to recognise here. I went to bed still excited.

On Tuesday I went to buy some sage and incense sticks and got chatting to the woman in the shop who’s very spiritual. I told her of my plans to go to Cameroon.

‘Remember to speak to the oversoul of the place when you get there,’ she advised.

‘The over what?’ I asked.

‘The oversoul,’ she repeated. ‘Every place has an energy that takes responsibility for the well-being of the place, from the highest mountain to the tiniest flower. When you go anywhere new, it’s a good idea to ask the oversoul how you can be of help, and also what you can learn from the place.’

Caribbean sunset

Caribbean sunset

Well, (must stop using so many wells) I was intrigued. I’d never heard of this before, and was even more interested when she said that sometimes oversouls use willing individuals to put them in touch with the oversouls of other places that they’ve visited.

‘Can the oversoul contact you before you get there?’ I wondered, as it does feel that Cameroon called me, and that in some way I’m being asked to take something from Cameroon to Jamaica. Maybe I’m being asked to put the oversouls back in touch with each other?

‘Yes,’ she replied, ‘especially if you put out the message that you want to help. Go with the mind that you’re bringing them something, and that you’ll receive something, and you can’t go wrong.’

That night I did some more research the Maroons in Clarendon. I figured it would be helpful to know a bit more about the history of Jamaica before I go to Cameroon for two reasons.

  1. If I’m asked about my birthplace I won’t appear totally ignorant.
  2. To see more clearly what it is I need to take from Cameroon to Jamaica.

I found that one of the first and biggest uprising of slaves happened in Clarendon, and that Henry Morgan, a British Governor was based there.

That’s when I remembered that my grandmother’s maiden name was Morgan, so I looked up Henry and WOW! The face in the glass was his – the curly hair – the straight nose – the long chin.

Of course I wanted to know more about the man, his Welsh origins and his buccaneering.

I really am fascinated by this process, and although I’m not sure where its leading me I’m prepared to trust it.

I’ve looked into the oversoul. The only references I’ve found are to an online game and to an essay of Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Have you ever heard of the oversoul in this context? Would love to know if you have and what you make of it.


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Further down the rabbit hole

Sunday June 23rd 2013

Caribbean beach

Caribbean beach

On Thursday, during the meditation in the development session the facilitator said he could see a woman wrapped in a maroon cloak standing behind me holding an umbrella made of cane over my head. See the full story here.

I deduced from this that I was being told that there is a connection between me and the Maroons of Jamaica. I also wondered if I was being given a message to look at the link between Cameroon and the Maroons.

First I checked out the meaning of the colour maroon. There were two main meanings:

1)      It is symbolic of courage, bravery, heroism and strength.

2)      The colour is red-brown, like that obtained from clay and is associated with healing and power to repel malevolent spirits.

The Maroons in Jamaica represents all of the above. They were the runaway slaves who fought the British for their freedom 100 years before the official abolition of slavery.  They were, and still are, a very spiritual people. The current Maroon community in Jamaica still carries out a ritual in which they speak to the ancestors using MSL – Maroon Spirit Language.

But it wasn’t till I typed in ‘link between Maroons in Jamaica and Cameroon’ that I got the information that the original Maroons were made up of slaves taken from what is modern day Ghana and modern day Cameroon.

I just sat and stared at the screen. Not so much flabbergasted by the connections but by the means that I’d been made aware of them.

When I spoke to my sister-in-law tonight she said there is a Maroon community in Clarendon, which is where my mom is from.

I feel a trip to Jamaica to make connections with the Maroons coming on very shortly after my return from Cameroon.