Hereford Constellation Part Two 30th June 2013
As well as bringing your own issues to Family Constellation there is great learning to be had from participating in other people’s issues. A group will uncannily reflect each other in what they bring, and so what isn’t addressed directly in your own constellation can be addressed in someone else’s.
The following are offered as examples of my own learning and does not reflect the full constellation for the persons involved. They will also offer an insight into the interrelatedness of issues in the group. For that I would need their permission and I haven’t sought that. All the names have been changed.
In Phillip’s constellation I represented South Africa (he was Africa in mine). It transpired that some of his issues resulted in the black side of the family being rejected.
In Kelly’s I represented her. There were issues around unborn children, the same number as me. In fact three of us in the group had lost children prior to birth, and needed to do an exercise around placing our existing children in their rightful order. (I cover this in greater detail in Constellation One).
In an addendum to the constellation Kelly’s issues with her own mother were being addressed.
Shakti asked her to say, ‘You are the right mother for me. I am the right daughter for you. You were exactly the mother I needed to learn the lessons I needed to learn.’
I realised as she spoke that these were words I could easily have said to Jamaica. ‘You are the right mother land for me.’
During the ensuing discussion along the lines of ‘the more difficult the relationship the bigger the lessons and the stronger it makes you when you’ve learned them’ I realised that I learned a lot from being Jamaican, and that I will learn a lot more as a result of Jamaica’s difficulties. If I’d wanted easy lesson I’d have chosen to be born somewhere more quiet and sedate.
But no – I chose Jamaica for the lessons it could teach me, just like I choose my biological parents for the lessons they could teach me.
I need to examine Jamaica more closely to understand how she runs through my veins, and claim this tiny island that has such influence on the world stage.
In addition to the constellations Shakti did a couple of exercises with the whole group.
- In one we had to work in pairs. The first person had to open his arms and allow me to walk into them. Then we swopped over. This was to teach us how to allow people and thing to come to us, rather than chasing after them.
- In the second exercise we had to choose a partner to represent someone in our lives to whom we had something important to say. We had to say it as if we were on our death bed with only two minutes to live. It really helps to focus the mind on how to let go of things that don’t matter, to cut through the fluff and get straight to the point.
- In another we gave ancestral healing to two people in the group.
This is the most profound form of revealing and healing family dysfunction that I’ve ever encountered. I’m putting together my other experiences into a booklet. The contents are much more intense and involved more people, and would be too long as blog entries.
If you’re interested I’d recommend Trauma, Bonding and Family Constellation by Franz Rupert and Bert Hellinger’s website.