Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery


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Further down the rabbit hole

Sunday June 23rd 2013

Caribbean beach

Caribbean beach

On Thursday, during the meditation in the development session the facilitator said he could see a woman wrapped in a maroon cloak standing behind me holding an umbrella made of cane over my head. See the full story here.

I deduced from this that I was being told that there is a connection between me and the Maroons of Jamaica. I also wondered if I was being given a message to look at the link between Cameroon and the Maroons.

First I checked out the meaning of the colour maroon. There were two main meanings:

1)      It is symbolic of courage, bravery, heroism and strength.

2)      The colour is red-brown, like that obtained from clay and is associated with healing and power to repel malevolent spirits.

The Maroons in Jamaica represents all of the above. They were the runaway slaves who fought the British for their freedom 100 years before the official abolition of slavery.  They were, and still are, a very spiritual people. The current Maroon community in Jamaica still carries out a ritual in which they speak to the ancestors using MSL – Maroon Spirit Language.

But it wasn’t till I typed in ‘link between Maroons in Jamaica and Cameroon’ that I got the information that the original Maroons were made up of slaves taken from what is modern day Ghana and modern day Cameroon.

I just sat and stared at the screen. Not so much flabbergasted by the connections but by the means that I’d been made aware of them.

When I spoke to my sister-in-law tonight she said there is a Maroon community in Clarendon, which is where my mom is from.

I feel a trip to Jamaica to make connections with the Maroons coming on very shortly after my return from Cameroon.

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Session 35 – Skeletons in the desert

Thursday June 20th 2013

Pineapple

Pineapple

Greg is on holiday so we had a stand in. He began with a discussion about sitting in open and closed circles. I asked ‘what’s the difference between an open and a closed circle.’

‘In closed circles the emphasis is on working with spirit. Open circles are the apprenticeship to closed circles.’

‘How will you know when to move to a closed circle?’ I wanted to know.

‘Your guide, and your facilitator’s guide, will give you an indication when the time is right?’

He went on to explain that open circles mainly work psychically, and that this is an important part of working with energy. There is a point, however, where people feel drawn to work more spiritually. That’s the time to move, if the facilitator also agrees.

He told us he was going to take us through a guided meditation into the desert and leave us there for a while before asking us to return.

Before the meditation Cain (that’s his name and it is significant later) began by having us visualise a ball of light coming up from the ground through our feet, our ankles calves, waist torso and head.

He then began the meditation. He asked us to walk down a lane. I was a sunny day, no traffic, all peaceful. We came to a wall of light. Walk through the wall of light into the desert on the other side. On this side too there was blue sky and sand, but no trees or buildings. ‘I’m going to leave your here’ he said and call you back when it’s time to return.

When we began with the ball of light I felt the energy move through me, but it made me sleepy. By the time we got to the wall I’d have much preferred to drift off to sleep, but I felt like someone yanked me awake and told me I needed to do this one.

As I stepped through the wall of light I felt incredibly sad, and started to cry. Not ‘racking sobs’ as they say in all the romantic novels, but tears that were painful behind my eyes before dripping hotly onto my cheeks.

As I stood looking around at the vast expanse of nothingness I became aware of my grandmother beside me. She didn’t speak but looked on sympathetically as I took some tentative barefooted steps across the hot sand.

I soon got accustomed to the heat. We walked for some time before she offered me a wide brimmed straw-like hat.

When I looked at her quizzically she replied, ‘You’ll need it.’

We walked on a little more and came to a stop in front of  a spot of sand that started to bubble, like boiling water, or maybe more accurately like molten lava – slowly, with big bubbles.

I looked on in astonishment as three skeletons came up out of the sand. They stood in front of us. As I gawped I was aware of my grandma looking at me a step or two away.

The first skeleton started to grow flesh. When he was fully fleshed I asked him to show me his face. He was very dark, with a hooked nose, wide forehead and very cheekbones. He pulled a cloak around him. It was made of a fabric of yellow and green diamonds.

When he was finished the second skeleton went through the same process of growing flesh. He was slightly shorter and thinner. His cloak was grey, or more of a dirty white. While I was asking him to show his face Cain asked us to come back.

The third skeleton was waiting patiently but I didn’t have time to observe his re-skinning.

During feedback Cain said he was sorry I’d had a tearful experience, he’d hoped it would have been a pleasant one for everyone. (The others had fairly pleasant experiences). He said the skeletons coming up from the earth were to show that we come, stay for a while, go, and come again.

He said that when he looked in on my meditation he saw a woman behind me in a bright maroon cloak holding an umbrella over my head. He said it wasn’t in a material we’d normally associate with umbrella, ‘more like my namesake, cane,’ he added.

I was immediately curious as to what he meant by ‘looking in on my meditation’. He explained that at a certain level of training and experience you can actually connect with individual’s meditation.

I later told him that I’ve been doing some work on ancestry, and that there is a group in Jamaica called the Maroons, and that Jamaica is noted for sugar cane production – hence the umbrella being made of cane.

Someone else suggested that ‘flesh’ could mean words, as in ‘in the beginning was the word, and the word was made flesh.’

‘Could this have something to do with your writing?’ she asked.

I admitted that I’ve been referring to the ‘bones’ of the parenting course I’m writing, but it still needs a lot more flesh on it.

Later, while I was sharing this with a friend, I made a slip and said I needed to do more research on the Cameroons (meaning Maroons). In a split moment we both heard the link between Maroons and Cameroons.

Please, if you know anything about skeletons or deserts (there is one in Cameroon – does this mean I’m to go when I visit later this year?) please let me have your thoughts if you can see any more links or uncover any more layers.


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Session 34 – Encaustic paintings

Monday June 17th 2013

We were definitely missing male energy today. Eight females engaged with crystals, cards and Encaustic paintings. Aim? To connect with spirit and give readings to each other.

There were two new people and one that moved over from Greg’s Thursday evening group – on account of working nights.

My Encaustic painting - landscape

My Encaustic painting – landscape

After the opening prayer one of the members lead the first meditation. She used a set of cards and asked us to choose one to focus on during the meditation. Mine was essentially about asking for help and keeping going till I get to the top of the mountain.

We then did a healing meditation using quartz crystal. I had a massive wand and felt its energy as soon as I picked it up and sat it on my lap.  I could barely focus on the meditation because the energy was so strong from the crystal.

‘Shall we do the Encaustic paintings?’ Mary asked.

There was a chorus of ‘What’s Encaustic paintings?’ from most of us.

‘I’ve brought an iron and some paper,’ said Jill, rummaging around in her bag. ‘I’ve brought the wax as well.’

‘I’ll get the ironing board then,’ said Mary, and disappeared upstairs.

‘It’s best if we just show you what to do,’ Jill said in reply to our wide eyes and dropped jaws.

And she was as good as her word. An ironing board was set up in our meditation room. The iron was plugged in, the small oblongs of what looked like photographic paper were piled at one end of the ironing board while Jill and Mary spread newspaper on it and laid out small blocks of coloured wax.

My Encaustic painting - portrait view

My Encaustic painting – portrait view

Mary then demonstrated how to rub the wax onto the hot plate of the iron and manipulate it over the photographic paper to form a picture. She changed colours several times, sometimes layering one over the other. She had a beautiful abstract picture by the end. And even as I stood admiring it I began to try to make sense of it psychically.

We all had fun creating our own unique pictures before pairing up to give readings to each other. I’ve stopped being amazed by how accurately whatever is being read can be to the person you’re reading for.

I saw in my partner’s picture the face of a silver lion with the body of a monkey. I knew instinctively it had to do with her protective qualities, but also her ingenuity and sense of fun. I saw a blue heart and thought it related to her reconnecting with her love of expressing herself. She admitted that she’d had some problem in the past but was becoming more open now.

The reading from my picture was about going all the way to the top. She saw ‘go’ at the top right hand corner of the picture (portrait view). Swirls of positive energy were taking me there.

The Monday circle seem to be the one that introduces me to the many and varied tools one can use to do a psychic reading, while the Thursday circle focuses more on developing mediumship skills.

Monday’s seem to confirm where I’m going whereas Thursday’s give me new pointers.

As you know I’m always interested in other people’s experiences. Have you ever done or read an Encaustic painting? Can you see anything in the one I did? Let me know if you can, please.


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Session 33 – Runes and condoms

June 3rd 2013 (Monday)

Today we played with runes and laughed a lot. Maybe it was the slight increase in number to eight, maybe it was the addition of some male energy in the shape of Tim, or maybe it was the very erotic rune cards and some frisky minds.

 

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

It began when Mary couldn’t find a piece of music she needed. Tim filled in as we waited with a tale about the birds in his garden rejecting the food from Poundland, whereas they gobbled up the stuff from Sainsbury’s. It veered from his impending complaint to the pound store to the gourmet tastes of his birds, and the fact they could be holding meetings to put in a complaint about him etc… etc. It was a good thing Mary had already opened the circle by asking us all to do a prayer; otherwise we may never have got going.

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

To bring some order back to the group she read us today’s message from

June 3rd extract from Eileen Caddy's book Open Doors Within

June 3rd extract from Eileen Caddy’s book Open Doors Within

Eileen Caddy’s book Open Doors Within. June 3rd is all about faith, trust and looking for answers in the silence. It’s about being the change on a personal level that you want to see in the world. ‘Get yourself sorted out first,’ she says, then spirit ‘can use you to help and serve your fellow human beings.’

We all said it was true and it had the desired effect of sobering us up for our main activity, which was doing reading from runes.

As not many people remembered to bring their runes Mary decided to do three rune readings for each person in a large group. It was an unusually difficult set to read, and not helped by the fact that the pack contained runes that were not on the key she’d issued us with.

Despite this it was amazing how often two runes came out for different members of the group.

GEBO – It is union, partnership of any sort but you must keep your individuality and self-confidence. For this is the rune of freedom’

THURISAZ – The door is its symbol. Then, observe every moment, every detail. Think it over and get free from your ghosts. Then cross the borders,’

In addition to the two above I also got INGUZ – Claims you to split up relationships or old habits – you are ready for a new start; even for a new child. The meantime could be dangerous. So, keep your good mood.’

In truth it was a little bitty, with people trying to first make out which rune it was and then trying to make sense of the interpretations, some of which was quite brutal. For example, NAUTIZ – ‘Your dark sides block you and make you weak. Investigate what makes you so attractive to bad luck.’

The one that made the most sense to me was INGUZ, especially in light of my dreams about moving and babies.

One member had brought in a set of rune cards. They were much easier to read and had the most beautiful and erotic images. The group erupted again when the meaning of my card was being read. I heard the word ‘protection’ and sniggered.

‘Why did you laugh?’ Mary asked.

I hesitated a second before admitting, ‘There a red hot man on this care and I’m being told about protection, just wondered if I had any in my handbag.’

Well, the innuendoes flew as everyone looked at the card. Wish I’d taken a photo. By the time we came to saying the closing prayers (again all taking turns) someone asking God to help out with my stock for my handbag.

I so needed a laugh, hadn’t thought it was have been at circle. Loved it!


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Session 32 – Mediumship – being in the middle

May 30th 2013 (Thursday)

We were a diminished group of just six women two men, on account of it being half-term week. Greg explained that we would be focusing on three things:

  1. Getting a connection
  2. Validation
  3. Giving a message.

He demonstrated what he meant by choosing to work with Meg.

‘I have a flat cap,’ he said, ‘a grey sort of check flat cap. Does this mean anything to you?’

‘Possibly,’ said Meg a little hesitantly.

‘OK, let me see what else I can get,’ he continued. ‘I have a brown coat.’

Meg was nodding slowly – and nodded more vigorously as Greg said, ‘It’s a very old

and worn coat.’

She was a little puzzled by the ‘trousers hanging over the belt’, but nigh on lit up at

the ‘bald head.’ That had firmly pointed to the spirit of her grandfather.

Purple Heather

Purple Heather

‘They were stages one and two,’ Greg said. I got a connection and I got Meg to validate that it’s someone she knows. Now I need to complete stage three, i.e. get a message, because if a spirit has made itself known it will usually have a message for the person.’

He concentrated for a while then said, ‘I see you looking at two sets of paper at a table and shaking your head as though the two don’t match, like something don’t quite add up.’

Again Meg looked puzzled, but eventually linked it to some family history work she was doing. The message was eeked out in bits and pieces, each time a little more being given till the full thing unfolded as, ‘there is an illegitimate male in the family which is not recorded. Someone in the family knows who it is, ask around and put the record straight.’

This all made sense to Meg, and was the clearest explanation and demonstration I’d been given in the circle about how to interpret the images and how to keep asking spirit for clarification and explanation until the message is given.

It seem daft given the number of sessions I’ve attended, but tonight was the first time I really understood that it’s not just about receiving random images and asking the person if they could ‘take’ the images. Communicating with the spirit of those who have passed has purpose. It is to help and guide those who are still here.

‘So now you’ve seen how it’s done, it’s your turn to have a go now,’ Greg said. ‘Focus on someone you feel drawn to and try and make a connection. It doesn’t matter whether you get a message at this stage, if you do great, if not, that’s fine. We can do this in stages.’

I was drawn to Tina, the lady opposite me. I saw a tall slim and very attractive lady with long blonde straight hair in party clothes and dancing shoes who looked like she was dancing. That’s all I got for a while, then I saw her holding and rocking a baby but not looking too happy about doing so. Then I saw a cake, like a birthday cake and the number 86, and got the names Ada, Linda and Brenda.

As soon as I started to describe the woman Tina recognised her as a grandmother. She understood the party clothes, dancing shoes and especially the cake. She seemed a little disappointed that her grandmother didn’t want to rock the baby, and the 86 didn’t mean anything to her.

‘So you’ve made a connection and got validation,’ Greg interjected, ‘now try and get a message.’

Although I’ve previously got the impression I needed to tell Tina to get her dancing shoes on, I sat quietly and listened with closed eyes to see if I’d get anything else. To my mind what I got was quite a bland message, ‘do more for yourself, stop taking yourself so seriously, lighten up and little and get out more,’ but it made absolute sense to Tina.

She explained that since the birth of her baby she’d been so focused on daughter that she’d not really done anything for herself. (It was only later that I recognised the significance of the grandmother not wanting to rock the baby – don’t let the baby take over she was saying.)

Other people had varying levels of success. One person got a message for another member of her family, for him to go and get a health check. Only one person didn’t get anything from the process.

The person who had focused on me got a message from a great grandfather who wanted me to know that he’s with me and helping me to live the essence of my name (which means wisdom).

During the question and answer session at the end I asked about what to do with the other information if the person validates quite quickly. In Tina’s case I didn’t bother to use the names, or to go any further with the 86.

Greg said all the information need to be given (incidentally Tina could take both Linda and Brenda). Each piece of information needs to be interrogated until the message of the image is clear. Well, I will know for next time.

For the first time tonight I felt like I’d given a reading as a medium. It felt strange to know that I had actually connected with the spirit of someone who had lived and was able to be a mouthpiece for her.


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Session 30 – Very touchy feely

May 16th 2013 (Thursday)2002-01-01 00.00.00-1442

We were nine tonight, two men and seven women. I was on a high from the day from a lot of clearing. I threw out five bags of cassette tapes – yes and many of those were recorded psychic readings. Oh how things have changed, now I do the psychic readings. And I was really looking forward to practicing some more tonight.

However, as I walked into the log cabin the chill made me reach for my jacket, one of those situations where it was warmer outside.

As we waited for everyone to arrive I could feel the energy draining out of me. By the time we got to the first meditation I was asleep through most of it. It was a colour one where we had to visualise the colours of the rainbow and then see them swirling around us. Mine became a vortex which pulled me in and sent me to sleep.

I could barely keep my eyes open during the feedback, which didn’t go unnoticed. Someone requested that we do the meditation to meet our guides. As Greg began, I realised that its one we’ve done before, only in that one I was much more awake, so much so I was flying around the room.

Anyway, we went to a cottage and sat in a chair and waited for our guide to reveal him/her/it self to us from the feet upwards. I saw nothing. I kept hoping that maybe by the time we got to the head that I’d see something. But no, zilch, nada, nothing.

The only things I experienced were the tingling around my third eye, which is the sign my grandmother uses to let me know her energy is around me, and someone stroking my cheeks. This was so soothing that I fell asleep again.

After the feedback we were a little stuck for something to do, so Greg suggested we had a go at psychometry. He handed over a set of keys to one of group and asked for a message. It took a while coming as the person had been put on the spot, but Greg said it made sense to him.

He, the reader, had to give something to someone else. She gave him a message and passed something to another person. By this time I felt almost comatose. I was struggling to keep my eyes open. The level of energy in the room felt low, several people had said they felt unpleasant physical symptoms during the second meditation, and I really couldn’t concentrate.

I apologised to Greg, said I wasn’t feeling well and needed to leave. Said goodbye to everyone and headed home.

As I drove home my spirits gradually lifted. Could this heavy energy have anything to do with the fact that I’ve been doing a lot of clearing out, spring cleaning and throwing out lots of things that I once held dear? Or could it be something else. And why did it descend when I was in the room, and lift when I left?

 


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Only one spirit

15th May 2013

I first encountered spirit in July 2003 in a Louise Hay teacher training course. It was a physical encounter which I could not deny. Prior to that I didn’t believe in spirit.

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1433Since then I’ve been trying to get my head around all the different forms of spirit. Did angels exist? I got heavily into angel cards, learned about the Archangels and all the major and minor ones. I became a Reiki practitioner and connected with the healing spirits. I learned about fairies and elementals, about the spirits of nature, and about ascended masters.

When I first got evidence of the spirit of deceased members of my family I was initially very afraid, and would call on the angels to protect me from other kinds of negative spirits.

When I was finally dragged kicking and screaming to the psychic development circles it was because things I’d written about in my second novel were becoming manifest in real life, like I was watching an unfolding of my story. Some of this has also started to happen with my third, yet to be published novel. I found this very spooky, and even began to worry in case I wrote ill of someone and it happened.

In the circles we’ve been taught about connecting to our guides, and through Shamanism I’m learning about animal spirit as guides.

Add to the mix the fact that I’m an A Course in Miracles student where one of the central teachings is that we are one with God, that our higher Self has direct connection to God and freely communicates with him/her/it, and that time spent in communion with God is all the guidance we need, and you can see that I was getting a little confused.

Different people from the different groups gave me their interpretation of spirit but there was no-one connecting up all the dots for me. I decided to meditate on it.

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1401What I got two days ago was that there is only ONE spirit that it has different aspects to it, and that when we ‘connect’ with it we are connecting with that part that we need at that moment. Spirit is part of us and we are part of it. My higher Self is that spirit, and my higher Self knows all that was, is and will be – past, present and future.

What I realised in this meditation is that when I’ve talk about ‘spirit overload’, i.e. getting messages all the time in different formats such as dreams, visions, meditations and in writing till I’m exhausted, that I’m actually bringing this on myself. There are no external spirits piling it in till I’m weighed down.

In circle the advice was to ask spirit to go easy. Dave Scullen advised that I visualised a tap on full speed and then turn it down. The former didn’t work but the latter did. That’s what got me thinking. Did I do it or did spirit do it?

Spirit is not an external part of me, another person, another entity living somewhere else who visits me from time to time. Spirit is a part of me that I’ve just discovered how to access, and like a child in a sweetshop I’ve been grabbing at everything – all that time. This is one of my personality traits. When I get excited about something I tend to overdo it and often get worn out, before I learn how to pace myself.

So this is really about me regulating my access, and not being afraid that it’s going to go away if I don’t grab it all now. I’m not being ‘speeded up’ as one of my friends suggested. I’m speeding myself up.

What I stumbled on accidentally, unconsciously, with the writing, I can do consciously through meditation. I’m understanding more what Lynne McTaggart means by intention meditation.

It’s like writing your shopping list before you go shopping instead of going with a big trolley and no list. There will be plenty to choose from in the shop, and you’ll come home with some exciting things and maybe some basic things. And when you get them home you’ll work out what to do with them. You may even have been working out as you went around the shop what could be used for what.

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1443But if you go to the supermarket knowing a) what you want, and b) that they have it your time in there will be more productive (so long as you don’t get side-tracked). You can go to the right aisles, straight to the correct shelves – and if you don’t know you can always ask and get directions.

That’s what happens in circle meditations where we’re asked to focus on a specific person for messages. Much easier that picking things up randomly and hoping someone will be able to ‘take’ it.

Meditation is conscious connection with spirit, with my higher Self, with the spirit of all who have ever inhabited a body on this earth and those who haven’t. When I connect with my grandma, I’m re-connecting with that part of me that once inhabited that body, that has the wisdom and the strength that is available to me, always has been available and always will be available.

When I fell asleep at the laptop while I was writing the novel I connected with the writing spirit part of me that continued to write the story.

This may all seem self-evident to you but to me this is a mystery solved. Angels, guides, universal Reiki energy, ancestors, spirit animals – all one – and all me.

So what can I do with this knowledge? Well, when I have an issue – any issue – big or small, I can go to the place where all the answers are. Instead of flapping around in my little self I can go to my higher Self and ask for the answer. I can call on whichever part I think will have the best chance of getting me the answer, my grandmother, Buddha, Shakespeare, Jesus and other ascended masters, wolf, owl, rabbit, or Archangel Michael.

I can learn to trust that the answer will always be there and be patient enough to wait for it to become evident.

I can stop fearing that my writing is in some way prophetic and stop trying to censor what I write in case I bring on some apocalyptic event, or hasten someone’s demise. Very liberating! Comments welcomed PLEASE!