Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery


Visit to Brompton Cemetery

Regular followers will remember that back in May I had an experience which seemed to be directing me to Brompton Cemetery.


I got my opportunity to carry out that directive on Friday (19/07/13). I’d arrange to meet my friend outside West Brompton tube station at 1.15 p.m. but as she was delayed I walked the few yards to the cemetery by myself.

Open Day at Brompton Cemetery

Open Day at Brompton Cemetery

I noticed two things almost simultaneously. The first was the banner advertising the cemetery’s open day the following Sunday. I wondered who hosted such a day. Whether the residents come out for the day and invite people to experience their small resting space (or in some cases not so small). Which leads me to the second thing I noticed. The vastness of the cemetery.

The main street in Brompton Cemetery

The main street in Brompton Cemetery

As I stood at the Old Brompton Road end my eyes were drawn to the circular building at the end of a long drive which was flanked by ancient tombstones in all shapes and sizes. I made my way in the scorching sun through the group of what appeared to be street performers. As I wandered further up the drive their laughter and applause became less distinct.

I took detours down some of the side streets to the left and to the right, noting that some of the graves down these avenues were somewhat overgrown with long grasses, and sprinkled with vivid purple sweet peas.

Overgrown graves at Brompton Cemetery

Overgrown graves at Brompton Cemetery

Some well positioned trees provided welcomed shade, and on one occasion an opportunity to ‘spend a penny’ as there are no facilities in the cemetery.

By the time my friend arrived an hour later I’d had a chance to take in some of the more spectacular and unusual edifices, and engage in friendly chatter with a Portuguese man who stopped to talk to me. I found no evidence of the graves of Surrounded by the Enemy or Red Penny, and without a specific map of where they’re buried I could have be wandering around for weeks. The cemetery is 16.4 hectares.

Graves at Brompton Cemetry

Graves at Brompton Cemetry

We headed to Tesco for some lunch at the Fulham Road entrance, being both a bit peckish by then; but was forced to stop and observe a group of courting pigeons. I’d never noticed before the iridescent green and pink of the male neck feathers, which shimmer and dazzle when inflated to attract the attention of all too often disinterested females. These female pigeons were certainly making their men work for their attention. Makes me think we could learn a thing or two from them.

Flowers at Brompton Cemetry

Flowers at Brompton Cemetry

It was lovely to spend time with my friend in person. Even though we speak almost every day on the phone there’s nothing like a face-to-face meeting to rekindle that special friendship energy.

As we on a bench, chatted and munched on our lunch, a red fox emerged from the graves behind us and stood looking inquisitively at us. He was there for about five minutes till the woman on the bench opposite us looked up from her magazine and exclaimed, ‘It’s a fox.’

He turned to look at her and scarpered. We marvelled at how he’d held our gazes, looking from one to the other of us as though trying to tell us something we couldn’t quite get.

An hour later as we wandered back down one of the side avenues we saw a group of crows. What is the collective noun for crows? They seemed to be having some kind of meeting but dispersed every time someone came close.

Crows at Brompton Cemetry

Crows at Brompton Cemetry

I mentioned to another friend that nothing spectacular happened in the cemetery. ‘Maybe not in this realm,’ he replied. ‘How do you know what your presence there, at that time, changed somewhere else?’

I’ve only just realised as I write this (five days later) that the day I had the dream there were pigeons trying to get into my window. One meaning of seeing pigeons is getting messages in unusual ways.

I looked up foxes and crows.

Fox = amongst other things, listen and hear, look and see, sense and feel – trust your senses to guide you.

Crow = be very watchful over the next couple of days for any clear omens and signs that will guide your and teach you.

With hindsight it wasn’t surprising to see these creatures – given that I was in London for a shamanic workshop!!! DOH!

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Session 39 – Meeting my power animal

Thursday 18th July 2013

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1386Another small group, 3 men and two women but so different to last week.  We were in the log cabin again, but began our first relaxation meditation not long after 7.30.

Just as I closed my eyes to begin I saw two cats playing on the floor to the left of me.

As I’d mentioned to Greg that I was going on a shamanic workshop at the weekend he said he’d do a shamanic journey with us to meet our power animals. He’d very generously offered to help me choose a stone from the garden that would be suitable to take with me on the course. He thought the one I’d chosen was too big (not palm size as requested by the course but more something that could be used as a lethal weapon). He said it was likely to be the first of 13 alter stones if I decided to pursue a shamanic path therefore a smaller would be better.

He told us some of the basic differences between shamanism and spiritualism, but basically said there was a lot of overlap. He then took up on a shamanic journey (without the drums) to meet out power animals.

He ask us to climb up a hill and then down the other side.

‘Stop and look back at how far you’ve come,’ he said.

I was about half way down. He told us to look across the landscape to an island shrouded in mist. We were heading for the island but first we had to go through the woods that were directly in front of us.

‘Stand still and wait for a sign to show you which direction to go in,’ he said.

I waited. A coconut fell off a tree and rolled to my left. (What’s a coconut tree doing in a British woods!!!) Anyway, no time to think about it as we were being instructed that we had now come to a clearing where there was a lake and a ceremonial robe. We had to put it on.

There were seven robes on the ground in front of me, one in each colour of the rainbow. I had an internal tussle between the yellow and the purple one, but finally choose the purple.

‘Step into the lake,’ Greg instructed us, ‘and get into the canoe which you can now see.’

Wet and dripping I got in, marvelling at how things can just materialise in front of your very eyes in meditation.

We had to row across to the island, get out and choose between one of three paths, a wood, a river and a beach.

I really wanted to follow the river but found myself pulled to the beach.

‘Sit on a rock or a log. Close your eyes and wait for your power animal to come to you,’ he said. ‘Be aware that it could be huge like an elephant or tiny like a wren, or even an ant. When you feel your animal’s presence open your eyes and look at it.’

Even while Greg was still speaking I saw, in my mind’s eye, a sleek and graceful black jaguar walking down the beach towards me. When I opened my eyes I found myself looking deep into its eyes. His face was only inches away from me, but I felt no fear. In fact I felt the opposite, I felt completely safe.

‘Walk with your power animal,’ Greg told us.

As we began walking along the beach I could feel his power and knew he could and would protect me from anything.

‘Ask your power animal if it has a message for you,’ Greg said.

I waited for the jaguar to say something to me. When he spoke to me it was telepathically.

‘You’re stronger than you believe. You’re faster than you know. Never fear those who fear you.’ His voice was strong but soothing, and I was about to ask what he meant by ‘never fear those who fear you’, when Greg said,

‘You come to a river and have to get back into the boat.’

Power Animal Oracle Cards

Power Animal Oracle Cards

I was feeling a little sad that I had to leave but perked up when Greg said, ‘Your power animal gets in with you and you paddle back to the other side. When you get there get out of the canoe and immerse yourself into the water before coming back into the room.’

I reflected on my messages while the first person shared her journey. She too had seen a black jaguar, but had also had a bear and a bird. I’d look up Jaguar in my Power Animal pack with I got home.

The first two parts of my message made sense to me, but why would I fear those who fear me?

Greg said he felt it was about letting go of my fears, not just learning how to control them but letting go of them completely, because I had nothing to fear.

I mentioned the cats.

‘Was one of them black,’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ I replied wondering if he’d seen them too.

‘They are often in here,’ he said. They used to live here and their spirits obviously come back from time to time to visit.

‘Must be a thing with cats tonight,’ I joked.

Because three of us had unanswered questions from the meditation Greg suggested doing ten minute silent meditation to ask for answers. One was ‘Why am I constantly hot?’ Another ‘Why am I always rocking?’ A third was ‘How do I step into my power?’ and mine was ‘How do I get rid of my fear?’

Within minutes I felt a tremendous tingling in my back. It went on for some time. I began to wonder if it meant ‘don’t look back’ or ‘learn from the past’ or ‘don’t hold on to past hurts.’ I was still trying to work it out when Greg called us back.

One of the women said that tingling in the back is usually an indication that our angelic wings are being fitted, or if already fitted being adjusted, often being made bigger.

Greg thought it was about not focusing on the past, but looking to the future.

I’m still not sure. Do you have any other suggestions???



The Way of the Shaman – Page 1

I went on this long awaited course at the weekend. It completely blew my mind. I’ve been seeing my spiritual journey as collecting bits of a jigsaw puzzle which, when all the pieces are in place, will finally show me why I’m here. On this course I picked up quite a number of pieces.

I’ll have to write up the main exercises and my learning in a series of blogs. I’m still trying to process some of them. I want to say a massive THANK YOU to Sandra for pointing me in the direction of Sacred Trust. I’m so grateful that you have shared my journey so far, and pray that you continue. I value your input. Please know, all of you who respond to my cries for help that it is received with gratitude and positive effect.

Further blogs to follow in the series ‘The Way of the Shaman.’

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Countdown to Cameroon – Yellow fever vaccine

14th July 2013

Those of you who know me know that I’m not keen on taking medication. In fact I haven’t taken any pharmaceutical medication since 2007. It sticks a bit in the craw that I have to have the yellow fever vaccine just to get into Cameroon, but I respect the country’s regulations. I called the authorised centre last week (discovered there’s one just round the corner from me) to find out how to go about getting the vaccine.

They have a travel clinic once a week on a Friday. You have to book in advance and pay £52.00 in cash. No cards or cheques accepted. The receptionist said they had no vacancies for the next three weeks (must be the holiday season), then she noticed a cancellation for the following day.

‘I’ll have it,’ my lips said, before my brain was fully engaged. There’s something about scarcity that makes people make rash decisions.

It later occurred to me that my plan was to get my body strong and cleansed before putting the poison of the vaccine in it. I had to call the next day and cancel. I’m now on a regime of getting my body fit, strong and cleansed. It should take about three weeks – time enough as the minimum time before travel for the vaccine to take effect is ten days.


Session 38 – Sai Baba was here

Thursday 11th July 2013

Summer fruits in Erdington Brmingham

Summer fruits in Erdington Brmingham

There were only five of us tonight – for the first time the men outnumbered the women three to two. It was a beautiful evening and we sat chatting in the garden before heading to the log cabin where the chat continued for quite a while longer.

I was fascinated by a photo I’d not noticed before.

‘Is that a picture of Peter as a young man?’ I asked Greg. Peter was the founder of the centre and a well respected international medium.

‘That’s actually a picture of Sai Baba,’ he replied.

‘Sai Baba?’ I was surprised as it didn’t look like the ones I’ve seen of him.

‘Yes, Sai Baba was a very…’ began Greg.

‘I know who he is,’ I said, ‘I just didn’t recognise the photo.’

‘Yes, Peter used to sponsor Sai Baba to come over. He’s been here a few times. That picture was taken here.’

Greg went on to explain to the others that Sai Baba was also an internationally acclaimed and controversial healer and miracle worker. I was impressed that the log cabin had hosted such a well known figure.

After further discussions we began with an opening meditation in which Greg asked St Michael to visit us and give us a gift to help guide us.

Mine was a powder puff and a Barbie doll. As it didn’t mean much to me Greg suggested that perhaps I needed to pamper myself. I could definitely do with a bit of pampering.

The other woman saw a white lamb that nuzzled her palm and then ran off. I thought immediately of the nursery rhyme ‘Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow, and everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day, that was against the rule, it made the children laugh and play, to see a lamb at school.’

I suggested that perhaps it meant she should explore ways to take her spirituality into school to work with children. As she works in a school where this kind of spirituality would be forbidden in its overt form (that was against the rule) I thought there was a link there to be explored.

Greg said I was wrong, that lambs were born in spring and spring represented new beginnings. I accept that I’m still a novice at this but I had a strong feeling that I had to tell her about the school link.

We then talked about many things, some which related to happenings in the log cabin prior to our time, some to healing practices such as Reiki and some to our own development.

I voiced my disappointment that we hadn’t been able to do more meditation because I felt my development was particularly linked to the messages I got through the meditations; sometimes directly and sometimes via others.

Greg was on the verge of taking us into another meditation but as it was ten minutes before the session was due to end and I’d had a busy day, and more to attend to when I got home, I wasn’t able to experience it.

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Family Constellation Part 2

Hereford Constellation Part Two 30th June 2013

As well as bringing your own issues to Family Constellation there is great learning to be had from participating in other people’s issues. A group will uncannily reflect each other in what they bring, and so what isn’t addressed directly in your own constellation can be addressed in someone else’s.

The following are offered as examples of my own learning and does not reflect the full constellation for the persons involved. They will also offer an insight into the interrelatedness of issues in the group. For that I would need their permission and I haven’t sought that. All the names have been changed.

In Phillip’s constellation I represented South Africa (he was Africa in mine). It transpired that some of his issues resulted in the black side of the family being rejected.

In Kelly’s I represented her. There were issues around unborn children, the same number as me. In fact three of us in the group had lost children prior to birth, and needed to do an exercise around placing our existing children in their rightful order. (I cover this in greater detail in Constellation One).

In an addendum to the constellation Kelly’s issues with her own mother were being addressed.

Shakti asked her to say, ‘You are the right mother for me. I am the right daughter for you. You were exactly the mother I needed to learn the lessons I needed to learn.’

I realised as she spoke that these were words I could easily have said to Jamaica. ‘You are the right mother land for me.’

During the ensuing discussion along the lines of ‘the more difficult the relationship the bigger the lessons and the stronger it makes you when you’ve learned them’ I realised that I learned a lot from being Jamaican, and that I will learn a lot more as a result of Jamaica’s difficulties. If I’d wanted easy lesson I’d have chosen to be born somewhere more quiet and sedate.

But no – I chose Jamaica for the lessons it could teach me, just like I choose my biological parents for the lessons they could teach me.

I need to examine Jamaica more closely to understand how she runs through my veins, and claim this tiny island that has such influence on the world stage.

In addition to the constellations Shakti did a couple of exercises with the whole group.

  1. In one we had to work in pairs. The first person had to open his arms and allow me to walk into them. Then we swopped over. This was to teach us how to allow people and thing to come to us, rather than chasing after them.
  2. In the second exercise we had to choose a partner to represent someone in our lives to whom we had something important to say. We had to say it as if we were on our death bed with only two minutes to live. It really helps to focus the mind on how to let go of things that don’t matter, to cut through the fluff and get straight to the point.
  3. In another we gave ancestral healing to two people in the group.

This is the most profound form of revealing and healing family dysfunction that I’ve ever encountered. I’m putting together my other experiences into a booklet. The contents are much more intense and involved more people, and would be too long as blog entries.

If you’re interested I’d recommend Trauma, Bonding and Family Constellation by Franz Rupert and Bert Hellinger’s website.


Session 37 – Dowsing

Session 37 – Number 242 July 8th 2013

We were six women today, including one new one that I hadn’t met before. It’s been a while since any male energy’s mingled in this group.

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

Open Doors within by Eileen Caddy

We began with the usual prayer and Mary asked us each to read a passage from Eileen Caddy’s book, Opening Doors Within. Not only did each reading hold relevance for the reader, it also resonated with the others in the group.

Mine began with the words ‘there is always one more rung of the ladder to climb.’ I laughed out loud and in response to the quizzical looks explained that I’ve been saying I think I’m ready to go to the next level with the mediumship work.

Following the readings Mary asked us to do a ten minute meditation to a beautiful piece of ‘angel’ music. After only a few minutes into the meditation I saw an old man with wispy grey hair sitting in a wheel chair. He was on the fourth floor of a block of flats looking out through the window.

He saw me and held up two fingers, then four, then two again. Mary called us back into the room before I had a chance to ask him who he was or what he meant.

No one in the room could take any of it. Not the man or the numbers – so I made a mental note to look up 242 in my numbers book when I got home.

The main activity was dowsing. As Mary had to leave due to an unmovable appointment Pauline took over the session. She had brought with her a most beautiful set of pendulums. Just looking at them was mouth-watering.

Crystal dowsing pendulum

Crystal dowsing pendulum

Dowsing is a very old activity and was one of the first divination techniques I leaned. It’s very simple and easy to use but I don’t always find it accurate, especially when I’m asking questions for myself. I often feel that I influence the dowser.

When Pauline suggested that we paired up to work together my partner and I decided to do readings from angels cards instead, as neither of us had any questions we wanted the dowser to answer. The problem with dowsing is that you can only ask questions which can be answered yes, no, or maybe. The cards enabled us to be more expansive.

She told me that September and November would be significant for me, and I told her she needed to focus on one thing at a time and learn how to accept help. She also needed to step up her game as a medium, which meant spending less time working with tools and more time meditating.

When I got home I looked up the meaning of 242.

This is a strong message from the angels, asking you to trust that everything is okay and working out in Divine and perfect order. With faith, all things are possible.’

I assumed this was a message for me as I’d had several earlier about trust and faith.

I thought no more of it until I was in my A Course in Miracles study group later that night. I picked a card which also talked of having faith.

‘This is the fifth time I’ve been told about faith today!’ I exclaimed.

‘So what were the others?’ Cath asked.

As I relayed the tale of the man in the meditation and his 242 Jill put her hand up and said, ‘I live at number 242, my house number is 242.’

I stopped mid-sentence and she continued.

‘My dad, who died three and a half years ago, had thin wispy hair.’

She wasn’t certain but said he could have used a wheelchair during his time in the home he was in before he died, and she wasn’t sure about the fourth floor flat either.

‘What was the message?’ she was eager to know. ‘Let me see if the message makes sense.’

When I told her the meaning of 242 she nodded and said ‘that makes perfect sense. It’s what he would have said.’

Well, as you can imagine, I was gobsmacked. That was the last thing I was expecting. Is this what going to another level mean? Is getting messages for people in a different place when the message is given the next level, or just a different version of the same level?



Family Constellation

Hereford Constellation  Part One 30th June 2013

Place – a village hall just outside Hereford

Weather – bright and sunny – and warm

Participants- 5 women 3 men

Facilitator – Shakti


English garden in the summer

English garden in the summer

Shakti welcomed us and gave a brief introduction to the process of constellation for the first timer. She explained that it was an honour to be chosen to take part in someone else’s constellation, that it wasn’t essential to particpate but it was advisable because there is much to be gained from simply being involved. The first timer was about to find out how true that is.

She began with a meditation where we had to see our parents in front of us and honour them by bowing to them. We then had to imagine our grandparents and all our ancestors behind us and lean back into them for support.

By way of introduction each participant had to say their name, where they were from, and how easy or otherwise it was to bow and lean. Most of us found it relatively easy to lean back into our ancestors, but some, about half the group, experienced some difficulty bowing to their parents.

We also had to give a brief account of what issue brought us to the constellation, and what we hoped to gain from participating. There’s a weird thing that happens at these moments for me. Apart from the very first constellation where I was very clear about the issue, (because it had been with me for 23 years) when I get to this stage I find myself describing something other than the issue I thought I was bringing.

Initially I thought I wanted to do some work around relationships, but I found myself talking about not feeling connected to any one place, that I had a kind of ‘wherever-I-lay-my-hat-that’s-my-home’ syndrome, and that I’d planned to go to Cameroon to see if I would feel at home there.

When all the introductions were done, all the issues raised, Shakti asked for a volunteer to take the seat beside her and begin the first constellation. It was one of those occasions where everyone looked down as her eyes scanned the room. I wasn’t quick enough and they rested on me.

‘Looks like it’s you,’ she said patting the chair beside her.

I walked to that now familiar place beside the facilitator. (This is my 6th Constellation). Shakti said that my introduction was very clear and we went straight into the constellation without further ado.

‘Chose someone to represent Africa,’ she instructed.

I chose the first-timer who was to the right of me, and he stood up looking a little bewildered.

English summer fruits

English summer fruits

‘Choose someone to represent England,’ Shakti said.

I choose a tall gentleman that I met at the last constellation who stood up on the opposite side of the room to Africa.

‘Now choose someone to represent Jamaica,’ she said.

My eyes were immediately drawn to a woman sitting opposite me. She had slightly greying hair and a warm smile.

She stood up and immediately began dancing slowly around in a kind of circle. I had inadvertently formed a triangle with them, and one of the points was dancing.

Shakti placed me opposite Africa who immediately opened his arms. I looked but didn’t move. He smiled and I felt anger rising. What the hell does he have to smile at, I thought. In the lengthening standoff I became aware of England behind me, close and intimidating.

I was very uncomfortable with England’s presence and began moving away. He followed. I kept moving until I was close to Jamaica. England moved back to his original position.

Noticing that I was between Africa and Jamaica I wanted to hold both their outstretched hands, but they were too far apart. I took hold of one of Jamaica’s hands and tried to pull her towards Africa. She didn’t budge.

‘You can’t move a country,’ Shakti said.

I dropped Jamaica’s hand and looked back and forth at her and Africa until Shakti moved me and placed me in front of Jamaica. I ignored Jamaica’s open arms. After a while Shakti said,

‘Say to Jamaica “You are my mother country.’

I couldn’t. It took four goes before I could finally force the words out.

Shakti made me say it three times until I could say it without hesitation and with a modicum of conviction.

I took the outstretched hands stiffly.

‘Kneel down in front of Jamaica,’ Shakti instructed, ‘and say “I honour you. You are my mother country, you gave me life, and you are where I was born.

Jamaica kept hold of both my hands and smiled, as if my words were music to her ears.

When I finally stood up Shakti told me, ‘say again, “I honour you my mother country.”’

I was tense and the words were still sticking.

‘Do you have back problems?’ Shakti asked.

The question caught me off guard. What did back problems have to do with this situation?

‘No.’ I answered defiantly and immediately felt a strong thump in the centre of my back. I felt a jolt, and the words began to flow more freely.

Caribbean beach

Caribbean beach

As I stepped into Jamaica’s open arms I felt the tears spring into my eyes and gently roll down my face. Jamaica hugged me. A long, firm hug. After a while I felt able to hug her back.

Shakti then placed me in front of England and made me repeat after her,

‘You are England. You’ve provided me with a home. I’ve lived here but Jamaica is my mother land. I was born there, I wasn’t born here. You’ve given me a lot. Education, work, and a place to live for which I am grateful.’

With the imprint of Jamaica’s hug still lingering on my body the words flowed easily from my lips to England’s waiting ears. He smiled and nodded his acceptance of my gratitude.

Shakti placed me in front of Africa. The words I had to say to him were,

‘You are Africa. You are where my ancestors were born. Jamaica is my mother land. You are the mother land of my ancestors, but you are not my mother land. I love you as the birth place of my ancestors.’

Africa opened his arms again, and this time I was able to step into them and readily return his tight hug.

‘OK, we can break here,’ Shakti said.

During the feedback part of the constellation Shakti explained that although I had such difficulty acknowledging my mother land, that Jamaica was the only one I’d chosen a woman to represent. This was a sure sign that my soul, my higher self, knew the significance of mother land.

The reason I have not been able to call anywhere ‘home’ is because I’d never properly acknowledged and honoured Jamaica as my mother land. Now that I’ve done that I will be able to feel at home anywhere I choose.

‘It doesn’t mean you have to live in Jamaica, but she now has her rightful place in your heart.’

When I explained that I was trying to pull Jamaica to Africa so I could connect with both, Shakti suggested that I could bring a small, symbolic piece of earth back from Cameroon and from Jamaica so I can be connected with both places.

Back in my seat I sat and reflected on the experience I shared with my ancestors. That  of leaving the land that I knew and loved, and being taken to a strange place with different climate, people and customs.

It hadn’t answered the question of why I chosen to be born in Jamaica, but I felt I was one step closer to finding that piece of the jig saw.