15th May 2013
I first encountered spirit in July 2003 in a Louise Hay teacher training course. It was a physical encounter which I could not deny. Prior to that I didn’t believe in spirit.
Since then I’ve been trying to get my head around all the different forms of spirit. Did angels exist? I got heavily into angel cards, learned about the Archangels and all the major and minor ones. I became a Reiki practitioner and connected with the healing spirits. I learned about fairies and elementals, about the spirits of nature, and about ascended masters.
When I first got evidence of the spirit of deceased members of my family I was initially very afraid, and would call on the angels to protect me from other kinds of negative spirits.
When I was finally dragged kicking and screaming to the psychic development circles it was because things I’d written about in my second novel were becoming manifest in real life, like I was watching an unfolding of my story. Some of this has also started to happen with my third, yet to be published novel. I found this very spooky, and even began to worry in case I wrote ill of someone and it happened.
In the circles we’ve been taught about connecting to our guides, and through Shamanism I’m learning about animal spirit as guides.
Add to the mix the fact that I’m an A Course in Miracles student where one of the central teachings is that we are one with God, that our higher Self has direct connection to God and freely communicates with him/her/it, and that time spent in communion with God is all the guidance we need, and you can see that I was getting a little confused.
Different people from the different groups gave me their interpretation of spirit but there was no-one connecting up all the dots for me. I decided to meditate on it.
What I got two days ago was that there is only ONE spirit that it has different aspects to it, and that when we ‘connect’ with it we are connecting with that part that we need at that moment. Spirit is part of us and we are part of it. My higher Self is that spirit, and my higher Self knows all that was, is and will be – past, present and future.
What I realised in this meditation is that when I’ve talk about ‘spirit overload’, i.e. getting messages all the time in different formats such as dreams, visions, meditations and in writing till I’m exhausted, that I’m actually bringing this on myself. There are no external spirits piling it in till I’m weighed down.
In circle the advice was to ask spirit to go easy. Dave Scullen advised that I visualised a tap on full speed and then turn it down. The former didn’t work but the latter did. That’s what got me thinking. Did I do it or did spirit do it?
Spirit is not an external part of me, another person, another entity living somewhere else who visits me from time to time. Spirit is a part of me that I’ve just discovered how to access, and like a child in a sweetshop I’ve been grabbing at everything – all that time. This is one of my personality traits. When I get excited about something I tend to overdo it and often get worn out, before I learn how to pace myself.
So this is really about me regulating my access, and not being afraid that it’s going to go away if I don’t grab it all now. I’m not being ‘speeded up’ as one of my friends suggested. I’m speeding myself up.
What I stumbled on accidentally, unconsciously, with the writing, I can do consciously through meditation. I’m understanding more what Lynne McTaggart means by intention meditation.
It’s like writing your shopping list before you go shopping instead of going with a big trolley and no list. There will be plenty to choose from in the shop, and you’ll come home with some exciting things and maybe some basic things. And when you get them home you’ll work out what to do with them. You may even have been working out as you went around the shop what could be used for what.
But if you go to the supermarket knowing a) what you want, and b) that they have it your time in there will be more productive (so long as you don’t get side-tracked). You can go to the right aisles, straight to the correct shelves – and if you don’t know you can always ask and get directions.
That’s what happens in circle meditations where we’re asked to focus on a specific person for messages. Much easier that picking things up randomly and hoping someone will be able to ‘take’ it.
Meditation is conscious connection with spirit, with my higher Self, with the spirit of all who have ever inhabited a body on this earth and those who haven’t. When I connect with my grandma, I’m re-connecting with that part of me that once inhabited that body, that has the wisdom and the strength that is available to me, always has been available and always will be available.
When I fell asleep at the laptop while I was writing the novel I connected with the writing spirit part of me that continued to write the story.
This may all seem self-evident to you but to me this is a mystery solved. Angels, guides, universal Reiki energy, ancestors, spirit animals – all one – and all me.
So what can I do with this knowledge? Well, when I have an issue – any issue – big or small, I can go to the place where all the answers are. Instead of flapping around in my little self I can go to my higher Self and ask for the answer. I can call on whichever part I think will have the best chance of getting me the answer, my grandmother, Buddha, Shakespeare, Jesus and other ascended masters, wolf, owl, rabbit, or Archangel Michael.
I can learn to trust that the answer will always be there and be patient enough to wait for it to become evident.
I can stop fearing that my writing is in some way prophetic and stop trying to censor what I write in case I bring on some apocalyptic event, or hasten someone’s demise. Very liberating! Comments welcomed PLEASE!