I went to the 13th annual ACIM (A Course in Miracles) conference at the weekend. Although I’ve been doing the course for a while it was my first ACIM event. The only speaker I’d heard of was Gary Ranard, the author of The Disappearance of The Universe.
It’s not my intention to review the conference here, but generally it was very varied and Earl Purdy stole the show, but the person who touched my heart was Annie Blampeid. As part of her presentation she got us (all 160 of us) to do an exercise where we had to send love to someone we really needed to show love to. I thought for a moment before I focused on someone I’d been having some difficulty with, and who had been droftomg in and out of my head throughout the conference. In fact, occupying more head space than I would have liked since Thursday. The same person who generated the anger that lead to the nosebleed.
When we’d finished that she asked us to stand up and say ‘I love you’ to 3 people we didn’t know. No qualification (such as I love you because…) and the only response was to repeat ‘I love you’ back. Got the idea? The only words being spoken was ‘I love you.’ People were enjoying it so much she allowed us to continue beyond three people.
Something happened to me during that exercise! It was as if a massive boulder that had been firmly wedged across the door of my heart got rolled away and I could really feel the love of the person in front of me. I could also feel the love of every person in the room. It was so overwhelming I began to cry – and couldn’t stop. I carried on crying well beyond the end of the exercise, to the alarm and concern of the people sitting on either side of me who tried to console me.
One of the people I’d said ‘I love you’ to came over to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘that touched a nerve, didn’t it?’ I nodded mutely as the tear tap opened up a bit more.
As they were introducing the next speaker and the tears showed no sign of abating I decided to leave the room. I mean, I couldn’t sit there blubbing could I? Disturbing everyone. I found a quiet spot in the hotel and a drink, let the tears flow into it. Eventually I said to my guide ‘you need to show me what this is about’, then remembered my manners and asked ‘can you please show me what this is about?’
The answer was almost instant, ‘you accepted the love, you let love in.’
‘What?’ I asked out loud, and looked around quickly in case anyone had heard me.
‘You let love in. Think about it.’
And I obeyed the instructions and thought about the work that I’ve been doing on self-love. The ‘I love you meditations,’ and the mirror work – and it made sense. I think that work had helped to loosen the boulder. I sat there and reviewed the way I’d attached conditions to love. Someone had to love me for a reason, my smile, my intellect, my body, my laughter anything other than just because I’m me. I understood then why we could not give reason during the exercise.
It really sunk in that I’d never considered myself worthy of unconditional love – and for a brief moment I’d accepted it – and was blown away.
I eventually rejoined the conference halfway through the speaker’s presentation, but found it hard to concentrate.
At the break the guy who’d put his hand on my shoulder found me and said. ‘I looked into your eyes and saw the allowing in your eyes. Do you know what I mean?’
‘I think so,’ I replied, welling up again.
‘Maybe you could do some more work around allowing,’ and he recommended the work of Orin Derby. I thanked him, hugged him and marvelled at the instant confirmation of spirit’s guidance.
Truth be told I floated around on a little cloud and took in very little of the conference after this.
Has anything like this ever happened to you? Or anyone you know? I’d really like to be able to share this experience.
Do you know the work of Orin Derby? I could find anything on her. Did it work for you?