Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery


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Session 28 – Crystal ball, candles and ‘don’t change that title’

2nd May 2013 (Thursday)

Six women and three men headed for the log cabin at the end of the garden for tonight’s circle meeting. The glorious May weather commanded an outdoor experience.

Crystal ball

Crystal ball

One of the men, a very gifted medium had not been for over three months due to illness and other issues. I’d only seen him the first two weeks of Thursday circles. As he was being introduced to our newest member of the group he shook her hand and immediately asked, ‘Who’s had an accident with the car?’

Completely taken aback she replied, ‘My car rolled down a slope and crushed the back end of my daughter’s car.’

For the next fifteen minutes he gave her fact after fact about her family and herself, some of which she was able to confirm and others he advised her to go and check, as they were about her grand-father and great grand-father.

After that sizzling start where the rest of us were in awe, and maybe a little envious of all the fantastic messages, Greg went straight into our opening meditation. The guides and helpers were duly summoned to aid and protect us before he told us to focus on getting a message for someone in the group, or for ourselves for the second part of the meditation.

‘Focus on your third eye,’ he said, ‘see a deep blue crystal in front of your third eye building the energy around it.’ He then moved to the throat chakra and asked us to visualize a paler crystal, again building energy around the throat, then to focus on getting a message for someone.

Candle

Candle

I chose a young woman that I knew very little about having only seen her twice at circle. I found it hard to concentrate at first as my mind kept wandering to an incident from the afternoon that had angered me so much it manifested as a nosebleed. I’d been in such a bad mood I’d even contemplated not bothering with circle tonight, then realised that I probably really needed it.

I asked my guides to help me focus, and eventually saw the young woman pushing a wheelbarrow full of brick up a garden path. It was a real struggle for her, but when she got to the other end the bricks were used to build a barbeque, and a real party atmosphere ensued. I saw yellow, gold and red balloons floating up into the air, and later, as the night drew in, the embers glowed and the little dog stopped its excited yapping, Chinese lanterns were released. I got four names.

During the feedback someone else in the group who knows her well said it made perfect sense, that she had a bit of a struggle coming up but had been told that by September there would be much happier times.

Two people got messages for me, one saw me in a very quiet place sitting at a table writing furiously. I told her I’d just come back from a quiet break in Wales but that I had deliberately stopped myself from touching the keyboard to write. She said I wasn’t at the keyboard, I was writing with a pen on paper. That’s when I remembered that while I was away I did a lot of journaling, which I write by hand.

The gifted medium also had asked for a message for me, and gave me fifteen minutes worth (be careful what you wish for), 90% of it extremely accurate. He asked if I wrote poetry, and had I had some published. I said ‘yes’.

He said ‘you’ve written a special poem for a special person recently haven’t you?’

‘Yes,’ I stuttered, wondering if he was about to disclose the content and to whom, but I breathed a sigh of relief as he continued. He told me that I like to be by the sea, was inspired by it but was afraid to get into it beyond my waist.

‘Do you have a crystal ball?’ he asked.

‘Yes,’ I said.

‘Do you see things in it?’

‘I used to, until I went on a course to learn how to use it properly and then stopped seeing anything at all.’

‘I think you should try using it again. You’ll probably find that you’ll be able to see things again.

He then went on to talk about the significance of a candle, and I told him that I often write with a lit candle, and that the candle was next to the crystal ball. If felt as if he was looking into my personal space.

The thing that threw me the most though was when he asked if I’d been asked to write a new book.

‘Yes,’ I admitted, I began it this week.

‘Have you been thinking of changing the title?’

‘I haven’t got a title for the new book yet,’ I explained, ‘but yesterday I questioned whether I should change the title of the one I’ve just finished.’

‘Don’t,’ he said, ‘they’re saying it’s the correct title.’

My jaw was hanging loose by this stage. Such a specific answer so quickly. There was much else, but after a while I became aware of the attention, and that other people had not had as much.

The rest of the time was taken up with discussing the way spirit works with us. One person described her dream of diesel being put into a petrol car, and half an hour after having the dream her husband called to say he’d put petrol in her diesel car. A long discussion followed where various dreams were shared, along with spirits many and varied ways of getting our attention. Like tapping people on the shoulder, poking them in the side, pulling their hair, moving things, through electrical equipment, through their cars etc.

The time went by so quickly that we didn’t have time for another meditation. And to think I considered not going.

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Session 27 – Picture this

April 29th 2013 (Monday)

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1346After my week in Wales in (almost) solitude, pretty much talking to spirit morning, noon and night, it was exciting to be joining others to share the experience. No Tim today. I’m not sure if the novelty’s worn off or if he’s weighed down with work. It’s unlike him not to call me or to respond to my call. I hope he’s alright.

I was looking forward to today’s session as we’d had a text from Mary toward the end of last week informing us that as she had a hospital appointment, and as she couldn’t vouch for the NHS’s flexible timing,  Zoe would be taking the session.  She also said a new lady would be joining us, that she was at university and wanted to include mediumship in her thesis. I was intrigued and was quite looking forward to meeting with this lady, not least because I’m toying with the idea of doing a doctorate in creative writing, and would like to look at the paranormal, as this feature strongly in my second novel Betrayed.

It may be just a small thing but the door was opened when I got there, so I let myself in and found the others in the conservatory. I can’t believe how excited I was to be back. Somehow this place is beginning to feel like a second home. Not just the building but the people in it are very welcoming. Zoe and Mary were there (NHS was flexible in Mary’s favour today), plus two others. After hugs and pecks on cheeks six of us settled in the main room to begin.

PICT2217After the opening prayer Zoe asked one of the other members to lead us through a relaxation meditation during which we heard the doorbell ring. Shortly afterwards someone else joined us. It wasn’t till we came round from the meditation that I noticed it was a new lady.

I was so chilled by then that I totally forgot to ask if she was from the university. In any case she didn’t appear to be from the university as she joined in and took part in our first activity.

Zoe gave us all an A4 piece of paper marked into four squares. Each one contained a shape (circle, triangle, X, long thin oblong)  from which we were to make drawing.

‘When you’ve done your drawings you’ll be working in pairs to give each other readings from your pictures,’ she said handing out clipboards and pens. My heart sank. I really am no artist.

In the silence which followed I drew a tree with deep roots,  leaves on the ground and a rounded top in the long thin oblong  square. In the X square I drew a noughts and crosses game with a boy and girl on either side. In the triangle square I drew a car going into a tunnel with the headlights on, and in the circle one a large face with a faint smile, freckles, with stubble on chin and head.

PICT2186I say this is what I drew because that’s what they were in my head. While my partner could make out three of them, the car going into the tunnel had to be explained, and I admired her restraint not to burst out laughing.

Hers was an ironing board, a Chinese man kneeling down with hands clasped as if in prayer, a plain open face with a single curl of hair that resembled a question mark, and a butterfly. I looked at both sets of drawing wondering what the hell we were going to make of them.

‘Shall I go first?’ my partner asked, and I was more than happy to let her. It would give me a bit more time to study her pictures and try to get something from them.

‘You’re very rooted,’ she began looking at the tree picture. ‘You’re a very giving person, even after the harvest is over you still provide for others. This is what these leave mean. Moving on to the noughts and crosses she said I had a very playful nature, but that I could, if I wanted to, play mind games with men. If I was doing that it was probably not a very helpful thing to do.

‘You’re going deeper into your spirituality,’ she said after silently observing the car picture for a while. ‘Sometimes it feel a little daunting, like you don’t know what you’re getting into, but you’ve trusted it this far and you can keep trusting it. The headlights are showing you the way, keep your eyes and ears open and you’ll have nothing to fear.

She had a little more difficulty with the face, not knowing if it was a genuine smile of if the person it represented was hiding behind a smile, not sure if it was me or someone else.

I guess I’m still a little surprised at how we reveal ourselves in the little things we do and say, and where we’re not very obvious spirit steps in and fill in the blanks. I wasn’t aware that I was playing mind games, but after she mentioned it I examined a situation I’m dealing with at the moment and realised that I’ve been accusing someone of playing mind games. I wondered it was that he’s the one playing mind games, or whether I need to examine myself a little more deeply. The other things all made sense.  I just hoped I could come somewhere close with my reading for her.

I began with the ironing board, a sigh of domesticity, and I was going to ask if she’s longing to get away from the drudgery of housework, but what came out of my mouth was,

‘You are very good at ironing out problems for other people, you  can see what needs to be done, and while you won’t push it down people’s throats they will respect your take on a problem. They won’t always take your advice but they will come for it.’

Do not ask me where that came from. She agreed and elaborated a bit more on what I’d said. The Chinese man was about spending more time in meditation, or at least going deeper in meditation, too much of her meditation was scratching around at the surface, more depth was required.

‘You’re a very open person,’ I told her looking at the face with the question mark curl, ‘what you see is what you get with you. Sometimes people can read you like a book, but that’s OK, being any other way wouldn’t feel right for you. The message here is that if you’ve been thinking that people take advantage of you because you are so open, and that you need to keep thing to yourself a little more – don’t. Stay open.’

‘When I first saw the butterfly I thought it was about your transformation, but I’ve just been told that you’re helping someone to transform, and in that you’re finding your own transformation.’

She filled in the missing bits in what was essentially an accurate reading. I realise that I am learning to trust more of what comes to me and not try to censor it.

2002-01-01 00.00.00-1370As if that wasn’t enough Zoe then asked us to focus on one person at a time and try to get messages about their spiritual as well as material development. We began with on only man as he had to leave early.  As there were seven of us it took some time and would take many words to describe in detail all the messages we got, suffice to say that everyone recognised and accepted something from everyone.

I’ve got past the stage where I thought people were probably doing it to be polite and not hurt feelings if the messages didn’t make sense. So many of the messages they gave to me made sense. One of the women said she saw an eagle and a hummingbird. They were the animal cards I drew this morning – she had no way of knowing that. One told me that I needed to believe I am as beautiful on the outside as I am on the inside. I’ve been doing affirmations around this issue – she didn’t know that. One saw a white opening lotus as my spiritual message – spiritually I’m opening up. One saw me in a sequinned dress in September, one saw me under a spotlight, one saw someone putting money into my hands, another saw Archangel Michael with me and that he had a message for me – to ground myself (she wasn’t aware of the tree I’d drawn and the interpretation that had been made of it). ’ Another said she saw a long line of ancestors behind me, stretching in a long line, way, way, back.

I had the most amazing feeling that something beautiful is about to happen, especially when one said she saw traffic lights on amber and the message was ‘get ready’.

As you can tell, I was very, very excited. Worth a week of solitude to come back to this. I was so taken with all this activity that I completely forgot to ask about the woman from the university. Maybe she’ll come another day.

 

 


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Love is not a reward – but wine is

I’ve done it. Completed the first draft of Love is Not a Reward two days ahead of schedule. After missing the end of March deadline I was gutted. With two more chapters to write I set a new one of 17th April. I started the last chapter on Sunday. By Monday afternoon, despite a break to go to the psychic development circle, I finished it by 5 p.m. The words seemed to fly  out from the tips of my fingers onto the screen.

I’d already planned to go to a friend’s house for dinner so it was just a case of adding an extra glass of wine to celebrate. However, the big celebration will come when I’ve finished the editing – hopefully by the end of the month.


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Session 26 – Talking stick philosophy

15th April 2013 (Monday)

I arrived at Oak House with another visitor today, not one new to the centre but new to the Monday circle. He’d been a couple of times to the Thursday evening one and thought he’d try one in the day too. Sadly Tim wasn’t able to make it – pressure of work.

PICT2186As we entered the main room one of the members was busy putting chairs in a circle.

‘How many shall I put out?’ she asked after the introductions had been done.

‘Eight,’ I answered without thinking.

We went to meet some of the others hanging out in the conservatory, because finally we got some sun. It looked like there was a member to member card tuition going on, but those who weren’t included basked in the sun and enjoyed a chat before being called to order by Mary.

When we filed in she asked if we could lose some of the chairs as there were only eight of us and twelve chairs had been put out.

‘Didn’t you listen?’ I joked with the member who’d put the chairs out. It was, after all a lucky guess (or was it?).

She welcomed our new member, assured him he was safe in the company of a fairly mad group, and encouraged him to say a little about himself. Then, true to her form of asking us to take turns to say the opening prayer, Mary sought out the one who looked least like wanting to do it – and asked me.

‘Was I so obviously hiding?’ I asked.

‘Yes,’ came a chorus from the others. Next time I’ll try looking with eager anticipation.

My prayers are short and usually consist of thanking God for bringing us together, for what we are going to learn, and for reminding us that our lives and what we learn are to be used in service to others. This was no different.

Our first exercise was a meditation to a CD of Buddhist chants. It began eastern sounding enough, but changed a little way in and became very Southern African. It had a very odd beat (or non-beat) which made it difficult to be lulled into any kind of rhythm. I found it a very effective piece to keep the mind focused and not wander off.

After twenty minutes of this we were all chilled enough to be only mildly alarmed when Mary announced that she was going to get the talking stick from the other room.

There was a ripple of ‘talking stick, what’s a talking stick,’ as Mary left, and we were no clearer till she returned with a wooden stick, about eighteen inches long, on which were carved symbols. It had several silver studs inserted into the wood near the handle and was a prop of the late great medium of the centre.

‘We’re going to use this talking stick to give a philosophy from spirit,’ Mary explained. I will pass it to someone who will speak for five minutes about what spirit means to them. When they’ve finished they will pass it to someone else who will also speak for five minute, and so on.’

‘Five minutes on spirit?’ I was thinking. It was bad enough being asked to do a few minutes last time but how the hell was I going to talk for five minutes about what spirit is, especially if I’m not first. Everybody will have said what I’d want to say by then. For the first time ever, since joining these circles I was disappointed that I wasn’t first. In fact I was fourth, and had some pretty impressive acts to follow.

I think I’m getting better at trusting spirit to tell me what to say, because after my initial mini fit I became calm again, reminding myself that whatever came out of my mouth was what was supposed to come out, nothing more, nothing less. And if I was ever going to be asked publicly at short notice to speak about what spirit means to me, what safer place to practice than here?

When I was handed the stick I knew the first sentence that I would start with, after that I trusted spirit. I talked about the first time, ten years ago when I consciously reconnected with spirit – or should I say, they connected with me. Up until then I’d been busy denying the existence of any such things, and would have quite happily recommended a good psychiatrist for people who did. I guess people could be recommending the same for me now.

It was amazing how quickly the five minutes went and I was handing the stick over to someone else.

Only one of us had to rush off straight away at 2.30 so we officially closed, but the rest of us agreed to do one more exercise.

Mary must have had a theme of surprises for yesterday, because or final exercise was to stand up and give an impromptu reading to any one in the group. My heart sank, and I started to wish I’d said I needed to rush off as well.

PICT2188You see, I really don’t see myself as a medium in that way, giving random messages to people from a stage. When I joined the circles it was very much with a view that it would help with my writing – hence the title of this blog. And so it was that I waited in trepidation for my turn to come round. It was seven minutes to three and I saw my opportunity to get out of this.

‘I’m really sorry but I have to be gone by three,’ I apologised as the last person sat down after delivering an excellent reading.

‘Oh, you’ve just got time to do a couple of minutes then,’ Mary said. Does this woman never give up?

I dragged myself to the front, choose my person and – nothing – a totally blank head. I stared at her and tried to find something useful to say but nothing came.

‘Give her a colour,’ Mary suggested.

‘Blue,’ said my sitter.

‘Blue,’ I repeated, buying time to see if something would come. Then I noticed that my sitter was helpfully mouthing ‘communication’ at me and pointing to her throat charka.

Then suddenly something kicked in and I began to tell her how she was getting much clearer with her delivery of messages, that she was trusting it more, not trying to censor or paraphrase it. I talked about her increasing confidence and the benefits this was bringing to the people to whom she delivered the messages.

After I’d rabbitted on for a bit I just suddenly stopped, as if nothing more was there.

As I returned to my seat, and for several hours after I reflected on how suddenly the words had arrived, how meaningful they were to the sitter, and how suddenly they’d stopped.

When will I learn to move myself out of the way? Any short cut tips you can recommend?


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Session 25 – Colour me shaman

8th March 2013 (Monday)

When Mary announced to the seven of us at today’s session that we’d be doing some work with colour, three of us burst out laughing, because we – that is me, Tim (yes he’s back) and another member of the group – had been discussing a colour personality test.

‘As you meditate focus on a colour, any colour that comes into your head. Try and settle on one colour,’ Mary instructed us.

DSC_0087Gold popped into my head, so too did a golden kite with blue bows tied on a long tail, and some other images that I couldn’t remember by the end of the meditation. I hate it when that happens. I’ve tried to focus on holding the images but when I drop back into the silence I lose them. I’ve come to the conclusion that if I’m meant to remember them I will.

We each gave quick feedback on how we experienced the meditation; some mentioned the colour they got others didn’t. As well as my gold there was electric blue, orange, violet and green.

‘Now you’re going to give each other readings based on the colour you got,’ Mary said as we picked crystals from her hands to find our partners. My dark green (jade I think) was matched by one of the men in the group, the same one who got the message for me to look more deeply into shamanism.

I was happy to be working with him because I thought it would give me an opportunity to give him an update on how far I’d got with the research. As it turned out he’s attended a number of shamanic events and had a lot of valuable information for me. Accidental pairing? I think not.

Anyway, back to the matter in hand. Mary gave us all a colour interpretation chart to kick start our readings.

‘Use the colour interpretation to get you into the reading, then listen to what else spirit want you to tell your partner,’ was her advice.

I got my reading first. Gold = learned physical commitment to their spiritual pathways/awareness.

He began by highlighting my commitment to this blog and the help it offers to others, then went on to talk about my writing generally and the way that will help many people around the world. (Seems like spirit are really hammering that one home.) He said that was only one part of my spiritual practice though and that healing will play a big part in my life.

PICT1104AHis colour was violet = A true spiritual person, perceptive, well-guarded (though has tended to be misunderstood), no ego person, which is a very accurate description of him. However, after I read this to him I saw in my minds eye a foot stepping over a doorstep and was thrown for a moment. It’s the first time that’s happened when I’ve been giving a reading.

‘Do you need to go somewhere?’ I asked, trying to make sense of the image. Before he could answer I realised that what he was being asked to do was step up, i.e. step up his spiritual practice. Then I heard all this stuff flying out of my mouth about how he has so much more to give but that he needs to start using what he has now, because spirit wants to use him in many other ways.

‘It’s like when you’re studying, before you can do you’re A-levels you have to complete your GCSE, before you can go on to do your degree you have to do you’re a-levels. ‘You’re going all the way to doctorate,’ I told him ‘but you have to start using what you’ve been given.’

When I came up for air I asked him if any of it made sense. He said he’d been meaning to step up his healing and readings and had been thinking about doing volunteer session at Oak House. After what I’d said, he was going to ask straight away – and he did – at the feedback. Well, knock me over with a feather!!!

After that Mary offered us a ‘philosophy’ or healing option. We decided we would just about have enough time for both.

‘The ‘Philosophy’ option involved each of us standing up at the front and being given a word on which we had to talk about something uplifting. Nothing like putting you on the spot, as we didn’t know what the word was until we were standing there. The idea was that spirit would speak through us to pass to the group what needed to be heard. Our part was to trust what came out of our mouths.

Given that most of the group are not public speakers, there were some surprisingly eloquent messages delivered.

We ended with a healing circle, where we brought down white healing light and used it for all who needs healing. Oak House has a healing book into which the names of those who have asked for healing are entered. We also added names of people we knew who would benefit from healing.

During our closing prayer, which was being done by a member who hasn’t been for a few weeks, she went into a trance like state, where her words changed for ‘I’ to ‘we’. What I mean is, it’s as if someone was speaking through her, a bit like when Zoe does the trance work, but without the voice change. This member had also had another big breakthrough, as something similar had happened while she was doing the reading with her partner. She was being shown many things about him that she had no way of knowing.

Boy, I love it when this kind of thing happens. Just goes to show we’re not as in control as we think we are.

Please feel free to comment on anything. Have you ever had the experience of starting speaking as you and ending in that trance-like state? If you do reading, how do you get your images, and do they always mean the same thing?

 


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Session 24 – Rush hour in spirit world

4th April 2013 (Thursday)

Nine women, two men, and one of those was Greg the facilitator. There were two new women.

PICT2040Someone mentioned dreams before the session started. I suddenly remembered and shared with the group that last night I dreamed that I was marrying God.

‘You’re not thinking of becoming a nun are you?’ Greg asked.

‘It’s too late for that,’ I muttered quietly, but obviously not quietly enough as half the room tittered.

I also announced that I was back on form, completely rested, while I tucked into the cup cake one of the members had brought for the group. So delicious.

The first exercise was to try and get some advice for one of the new women for an issue she had already discussed with Greg but that we were unaware of. Greg welcomed our spirit guides and asked for their help, guidance and protection.

We all got something for her. I saw a newspaper and a razor. The message was ‘words can be cutting.’ One lady saw a basket of eggs which had been on a card from a mini reading the new lady had earlier. One person saw her grandmother who had some advice for her. All but one input made sense to her. Greg suggested that the thing she didn’t recognise now was possibly a future event.

Our second meditation was a deep one. I dropped into that state of nothingness very quickly. The only thing I remember from that first exercise was seeing four flames in a circle. I didn’t hear most of the meditation but toward the end I felt someone jolt my body upright and said ‘it time to listen now.’ That’s when Greg said ‘come back into the room when you’re ready.’

As others began to give feedback on their experience I realised that we’d been taken down in a lift, each floor taking us deeper into meditation. Some people had trance-like experiences while others found it difficult to go down. There were long elaborate journeys and short succinct ones like mine. During my feedback there was a rush of energy into the room felt by most of the room. It stopped Greg in mid sentence. Whatever comment he was about to make about my experience was lost in the drama of the arriving spirits. I have to confess that I didn’t sense it or feel the accompanying cold. I was cold all the time, even though I was sitting next to the radiator which was turned up fully. Greg said he’d never known spirit enter with such speed.

We paused in the round of feedback while Greg identified who they were. They (the three of them) were all connected with one person. There were two women and a man. Some of Greg’s descriptions made sense to the person to whom they were connected, and it seemed to be coldest in her part of the room. They must have stayed around for the rest of the night because it didn’t get any warmer.

Our third meditation took us from the beach, up a steep cliff, down a grassy verge to a lagoon with a waterfall where we bathed, swam, then dived down to find a gem.

My ascent of the cliff was not straight forward as I had to zigzag my way in places, but I opted for the most direct route. I knew I’d have the stamina to make it as I’ve done a lot of hill walking. The other side of the cliff was covered in yellow, purple and blue flowers, with lots of bluebells around the edge of the lagoon.

As I got into the lagoon sparks flew off the waterfall, like a giant sparkler. I lay on my back and floated (which is unusual for me as I’m not very confident in water).

I dived down to pick up a big piece of citrine, but when I came up and looked in my hand I was holding a very large ruby. Incidentally three of us picked up ruby, the most popular of the night.

I was going for abundance with citrine, but with ruby it would appear that what I need is passion and vitality.

I feel like the steep curve of learning is levelling off a bit, or maybe its to do with the fact that I’m meditating daily and getting messages almost every day.

If you’ve ever sat in circle, or still do, is this how it felt for you?

 


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Session 23 – African princess and Shamans

25th March 2013 (Monday)

Tim is still sick. A virus laid him low and he’s struggling to get up, so I headed to Oak House on my own again.

‘Have you done something to upset him?’ Mary enquired jokingly.

‘Only if I’d been the bringer of the virus,’ I replied.

PICT2186There were eight of us including Mary and Zoe. Although present Zoe was not taking the circle as she’s also not well, and needed to slip out to make a call half way through the meeting.

The usual opening prayer was said and Mary checked with us whether we were happy with the format of the circle. Currently we have a mix of short meditations and skills development with the various props she introduces to us. An alternative would be to have longer meditations, focussing more on connecting with our guides, and giving messages from a more mediumistic perspective.

About half the group were in favour of the current format, a few (including me) favoured  a mix of alternating week skills and meditation, and others an occasional long meditation.

Given that there seem to be a clear consensus that meditation is the only way to really build and maintain connection with spirit, I can see that at some stage I’ll have to find a group where that’s the focus. For now I’m happy to develop the psychic skills because they are becoming increasingly useful. (I did a reading for my friend at the weekend, which she found very helpful, and one for another friend last week – also helpful). In the meantime I’ve begun meditating at home, managing up to an hour most days.

The most immediate effect has not been more messages but more peace and calm. My dramas are very short-lived, and my sleep is long and undisturbed. I shared my meditative practice with the group.

‘Did you get anything?’ someone asked.

‘For the whole hour I sat today the only thing I got was a pair of pink baby bootees,’ I answered, trying unsuccessfully to disguise my disappointment.

‘Oh, my daughter must be having a girl then,’ one of the member whose daughter’s pregnant said joyously.

It hadn’t occurred to me that it could have had anything to do with anyone in the group, though in truth it didn’t make any sense in my life.

‘OK. Our first activity today is going to be a silent meditation,’ Mary announced. ‘No guidance, just go into the silence and see what you get. About 15-20 minutes. Shall we do it with or without music?’

‘I guess if it’s silent then it should be without music,’ someone suggested, and we all agreed.

It seemed odd listening to the noises at first, the ticking clocks, the birds, the dogs scurrying on the laminate floor on the other side of the door. But as I went deeper the sounds disappeared and I had a thought of Hurricane Herbie.

‘Must remember the name Herbie,’ I reminded myself. Then I asked for a message for one of the group just to see what I’d get, and saw a plate of cooked rice, and a message, put the baby on solids.

I then drifted in that space where I cease to be me, where my body loses all form and I connect with and become the air around me. This only happens when I meditate frequently, and I always wonder why I forget to meditate frequently. In this space everything ceased and I didn’t get any messages, at least not ones I remembered when I came round.

At feedback no-one could take Herbie, and I got cold feet about telling the person I’d got the message for that I thought it was about putting the baby on solids, because I wasn’t sure if the baby I’d seen him with was his, and I didn’t want to appear foolish. So I listened to others trying to make sense of what the rice might mean for me. Even when someone told a story of how important it is to give a message as you get it I held back. I hope the person reads this as we don’t meet for another couple of weeks due to the Easter break.

Interestingly he had a message for me, or rather two. (1) He saw an African princess all dressed up in her fineries being made a fuss of. (2) He saw someone pointing at a book as if to say look in there, and heard the word Shamanism. He wondered whether I need to be researching Shamanism or working with it.

I told the group about my recent attempts to find my African roots and joked that maybe I’m royalty, that I’m really a princess. I also told him that a friend of mine had gone to a Shaman’s day yesterday and we had talked about it, so maybe the message was for her. (When I told her she quickly dismissed it and said the message was definitely for me – I need to look in to Shamanism). It’s not an area I’m particularly interested in.

‘But then you were never particularly interested in mediumship either,’ she reminded me.

Our next exercise was reading photographs, an exercise we did once before in this circle and also in the Thursday one. There were varying degrees of success, and we ended with another trance demonstration from Zoe to gain some words of wisdom from her guide.

It took her a little longer than usual to totally connect with her guide, (maybe because she was a little unwell) and as I watched I marvelled at how quickly this had become common-place to me.

As usual her guide thanked us for being willing to work with them and gave us encouragement to keep adhering to the practices that opens the channels to their communication with us.

After the Easter break I’ll only be going to alternate Monday circle and alternate Thursday ones, and I shall miss seeing members of the group weekly. There is a real closeness in the group and I feel very supported. Any fear or apprehension about looking foolish is in my own head, this is a very supportive place to be.

Are there any practising Shamans out there? How did you get involved? Would you recommend it?