Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery

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Session 19 – Lengthening our strides

11th March 2013 (Monday)

Due to a little misunderstanding with Tim I headed to Oak House on my own today. We were back in the shed (I mean Log Cabin) again, not because of any poorly animals but because it was such a success last time.

There were nine of us including Mary and Zoe and a new lady who had come all the way from Nuneaton. Mary told us that Zoe will be taking the circle for a while.

PICT2217The room had almost a holiday feel with the candles and flowers and bright radiant heaters.

After the opening prayer Zoe said we were going to try sitting in the silence for a while and we all closed our eyes and found our silence, managing eventually to disregard the howling winds outside. ‘A while’ turned out to be about forty-five minutes. Several times I sneaked a peek to see if everyone else was still in the silence, and felt a little guilty when I realised they were.

Eventually Zoe said, ‘bring yourself back into the room,’ and I wasn’t the only one stunned when she said ‘I only did a short meditation today because of the time, and I wanted to give us enough time for feedback.’

‘Short!’ a couple of us spluttered.

Now it was Zoe’s turn to look surprised as she explained that most good mediums sit for at least an hour a day, and very often for much longer. She said that it is in the silence that spirit are really able to speak to us, or more accurately, that we can hear them. Much of the work we do with props, cards, colours, tea leaves, crystal balls does not require direct connection with spirit, but that pure mediumship does.

We were given the option of doing these longer meditations or the more psychic work with shorter meditations. I’ve favour alternating weeks, as I’d like to develop both sides. I think the jury is still out as some people were missing.

When we came to feedback I realised that one of the drawbacks of the length of sitting was that I’d forgotten the images I’d got at the beginning and could only remember the ones at the end. I wasn’t the only one experiencing this problem. Zoe said that if we asked spirit to show them to us again, that they would – and indeed they did.

My first images were of me in an attic where there were many old style rounded top chests with silver and brass fastenings and decorations. At the end of this row of chest was a huge mirror with a thick gold frame covered in a dark cloth. I pull the cloth down but was too afraid to look into the mirror. I got a sense that I wouldn’t see myself, but someone else.

In another scene I saw a huge expanse of land – almost prairie like, arid and cracking. As I looked I saw tiny yellow and purple flowers push up through the earth fully formed. These appeared in small clumps near where I was, but didn’t cover the whole ground.

In another I saw a torrent of words appearing in the air, as if being typed but not on paper, as if being typed in the air. When there was a big chunk they folded into a paper aeroplane and flew off.

Again the images and messages were many and varied. One person was flying in on a golden eagle which changed into a white horse while another saw flocks of butterflies. Some got names while others got place names.

Both Mary, Zoe and other members offered explanations and possible interpretations for our various experiences.

Zoe tried to instil in us the importance symbolism, and asking spirit to help us make sense of what we’ve seen so that we can accurately pass on a message. For example, one of us had seen a camel. She said it was no good telling a sitter that we’d seen a camel. We should be able to interpret the meaning of the camel for the sitter, and to remember always that we can and must ask spirit for the meaning for that person. For instance, a camel could mean a trip to Egypt or to the desert or to the zoo. It could also mean that you have the hump with someone, or that you were going to have to survive for a long time on very little, making sure your resources stretched for the duration of the journey.

The more we sit in the silence and get the symbols, the more we will become familiar with the way spirit wants to communicate with us and to use us.

It was quite sobering for me, realising that I will need to do more meditation. To be honest, since I started the circles I’ve been meditating less, working on the belief that I was getting enough in the sessions. Obviously not!

Zoe then went into trance and her guide spoke to us about the importance of making time for meditation, that it is in the stillness that we find the answers.

We then spent a few more minutes trying to get messages from spirit. Again we had success in varying degrees. Someone saw a ladder for me, a sign that my climb will be rapid. I will be making progress in leaps and bounds.

I saw a kiwi fruit, a coconut and palm trees, and got a splitting headache. I thought it related to the new lady and that there was a New Zealand link. She couldn’t take it but someone else said she had a brother in New Zealand who wears glasses. I said maybe he needs to have them changed, trying to not just give the symbol but an interpretation.

Any thought on what my meditation meant?

How long do you sit each day? Have you noticed increased ability with increased time?


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Session 18 – Little Cottage in Negril

March 7th 2013 (Thursday)

I arrived at Oak House feeling a little wrung out from the week’s activity. (See posts Spirit Speaks – Message in the night). My head was still full of ordering an ancestry test when we sat down. We had one new gentleman who sat to my right. Our eleven was made up of four men and seven women, and as I’d got there with little time to spare we were into the first meditation before I’d got the round of greetings in.

Greg began with an opening prayer then asked us to focus on the flame of the candle in the middle of the room while he led us into the first meditation. Once we had drawn the light from the flames into our bodies and asked our guides to draw near he asked us to close our eyes and began the meditation.

‘You are in a room,’ he said, ‘any kind of room you want. In the centre of the room is a table. On the table is a jug.’

I found myself in a small room in a small house in the Caribbean around a small wooden scrubbed table. It’s the way I’ve always pictured the room from the song Cottage in Negril. The vase was one of those old porcelain water jugs used in bedrooms to hold water for washing.

‘On the wall you’re facing is a rack with containers of various lotions and liquids in various shapes, sizes and colours.’

Out of my wall emerged a rack the size of the wall on which was various shaped old style vials, porcelain pots and jars. There were also bunches of herbs, many of them tied at one end and looking like miniature brooms.

‘You sense or see you guide in the room. He or she goes to the wall and takes various containers off the rack, brings it to the table and pours the contents of the containers into the jug. Notice the colours, individually and collectively.’

Emerging out of the wall was an older black woman. I’m beginning to recognise her now. She’s the same one that was on the beach who took me down into the sea. This time she was dressed in a white calico head wrap and a white dress with short cap sleeves. She took four or five containers off the wall, along with about three clumps of herbs. She walked over to the table and silently poured them into the jug, not looking at me, instead being totally focused on what she was doing. All the liquids were clear and colourless.

‘Bring the jug to your face and inhale the vapours,’ Greg instructed. ‘Within the vapours is everything you need right now.’

Even before he told us to inhale the vapours I’d already begun to do so. It felt like the most natural thing to do, and I could see the steamy vapours streaming up my nostrils.

‘Allow the vapours to circulate within your body, healing any part of your body that needs healing.’

I have a little issue going on with my left wrist and my left ankle, so I allowed extra time at these points. While I inhaled my guide walked to the back of me and gently massaged my shoulders. She placed her hands on the back of my head and I felt the healing heat from her hands.

‘Now place the jug back on the table and thank your guide for his or her help,’ Greg instructed.

As I put the jug back my guide walked around to the front of me, took both my hands and placed them in the prayer position. She kissed the back of each one, then walked backwards and disappeared into the wall.

‘Release the rack from the wall and see the wall as it was before the rack appeared,’ Greg said, ‘then come gently back into the room.’

During feedback Greg offered no opinion/interpretation, and while I’m becoming a little more confident with my own interpretations I’d welcome any thoughts you have on what happened.

I’d had an emotionally challenging week and felt my guide wanted to offer me some tender loving care and some healing, almost a ‘I’m please with what you’ve done and I know its taken it out of you.’ I’m not sure what, if anything, the kissing of the backs of the hands signifies.

Our next exercise was aura reading. As we moved into positions for paired work one of the other circle members, Jen, brought me a small gift in a clear yellow pouch. She said, ‘I made you this to help with your creativity.’

‘What is it?’ I asked a little taken aback. I haven’t developed any particular friendship with anyone in the group, and haven’t even had many discussions with Jen.

‘I thought it might help with your writing,’ she said.

‘Thank you very much, but what is it?’ I was pleased but intrigued.

‘There’s some lavender flowers, a small bottle of lavender oil a feather and a yellow candle. Yellow is the colour of creativity.’

‘What do I do with it?’ I asked.

‘I’ve written the instruction on a piece of paper,’ she pointed out to me, and I noticed the neatly folded piece of paper in the yellow chiffon bag.

‘Thank you very much,’ I said hastily as our working partners were waiting.

I had a measure of success seeing my partner’s aura. I could see the white outline but no colour. She got very excited when she thought she saw indigo, almost verging on black around me. I told her that some years ago I had a colour reading that said about this time I would be coming into my indigo phase. She was very happy with her confirmation, and me with mine, that I am indeed in my indigo phase. It would be interesting to have an aura photo taken soon.

After the exercise I got chatting to my partner about her son whom she believes is a crystal child. I told her I knew more about indigo children as I once thought one of my sons was an indigo child. We traded maternal guilt for not being able to understand our children’s gifts at the outset, and the loneliness and terror we could have saved them in their early developing years. Then I reminded her that we needed to forgive ourselves, because we were only operating from our point of consciousness at the time and believed we were acting in their best interest.

When Greg came to check how we got on I mentioned my experience with the voice and Tom Seligman. (See Spirit Speaks) He said I was obviously working with the law of attraction. The more of this work I do the more I’m getting out of it.

Our final meditation was a chakra grounding one where we sent roots deep into the earth in order to pull up the colours into the chakras. The instructions naturally began with red.

‘Take note of the colour of the red,’ Greg said, ‘this will be important later.’

My red was scarlet, vibrant, and not my favourite red which is more the cherry red. Then we did orange, again vibrant. By the time we got to yellow I could feel myself drifting, and I don’t remember anymore till I heard Greg say, ‘and when you’re ready you can open your eyes.’

I could tell from the feedback that the meditation was about taking in clear bright energy on the way up and on the way down draining away any negative energy. For most people the downward colours were less vibrant, more washed out and pallid than the upward ones.

After our closing prayer I quickly found Jen for a bit more information. She said to follow the instructions on a Wednesday as that was the day of creativity, to face west when I did it and if possible to face west when I write.

It was only when I was sitting in my car about to drive off that I realised the link between my first meditation and the gift she’d given me. My guide had used a combination of herbs and liquids. She had given me a combination of both.

I switched off the engine and ran back inside to share my excitement.

‘I know,’ she said, ‘I was amazed when you shared your meditation. I knew then that I’d been guided to prepare the gift for you.’

I was gobsmacked!!!

Even as I write this I’m still shaking my head in amazement.

Do you have a view on anything you’ve read in this blog? Have you had similar experiences? What do you think the hand kissing means? Do you face west when you write?

The irony is that with all this psychic activity I’ve not done any writing on the book. I hope it was all about clearing the way for a more productive week next week.

 

 


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Session 17 – Spirits in the shed

March 4th 2013 (Monday)

Tim’s back from his hols, on time and eager to share his pictures, his news and his tan. We arrived in time to find our seats taken by two new people, a young man and a young woman. The centre of the room was occupied with a beautiful display of flowers, candles and crystals. It looked beautiful and an air of excitement was already building.

PICT2186 As we settled into place Mary announce that Zoe would be taking the circle. We didn’t quite whoop, but were all very pleased. This would partly leave Mary free to attend to a new puppy she’s caring for till he can be found a new home. As he was scratching at the door we decided to bring him into the room.

We were only a couple of minutes into the opening prayer when he vomited on the carpet. I shan’t bore you with all the gory details but just suffice to say that it seemed to be coming out of both ends of him, and as he kept moving around he was leaving a trail which Mary was struggling to keep on top of.

It became obvious, even after liberal sprays of Febreeze, that we couldn’t work in the room. But there was an alternative. At the end of the garden at Oak House is a purpose built meditation shed. It would need a bit of heating but the general consensus was that we decanted down there instead. I had often seen it from the window but never really thought about it as a meditation space.

PICT2188  It was decorated inside with pictures of Native Americans, dream-catchers, and other totems, with chairs already laid out in a circle. It took only ten minutes with a couple of very efficient heaters to get it warm enough for us to re-convene. Without Mary, who decided she would stay and attend to the ailing puppy, we began with a prayer for its healing.

The focus of the session was to concentrate on each of the seven of us in turn to get message from spirit for a) our spiritual development and b) our everyday life.

It must be a measure of the frequency of my participation in these groups that I’m much more relaxed about accepting what comes into my head; skiing in Mount Blanc, a motor bike, one member putting down a crutch and walking away from it, another dressing up in a blonde wig while still another reaching for the salt to add to her meal then changing her mind. All of these things meant something to the people for whom I’d got the messages.

The messages I was given all centred around writing, having more fun, and being protected by spirit. One in particular saw me with a shield against which toy arrows were being aimed, but were just bouncing off. As this was related to writing I took it to mean that I’d be able to cope with any criticism of my work. This was an important message for me because I really struggled with one of the stories I had to write last week. At the back of my head was the thought of how it would be received by my community, some of whom could well see me as naive at best and a traitor at worst.

Unfortunately, given the late start and the individual nature of the messages, we ran out of time for Zoe to do another trance demonstration. I was really hoping for this, as she says sometimes when its dark enough people have actually seen the guide overlaid over her face. We had the right lighting conditions but alas no demonstration.

The two new people are very experienced, and I do hope they keep coming.

And the puppy? Apparently he’d eaten a whole tub of fish food that had fallen onto the floor. He was fine once it had all come out.


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Session 16 – More trance and Story Cubes

February 28th 2013 (Thursday)

I was very early tonight and had a chance to have a chat with Greg before the others arrived. I wanted to share with him the sensation I have when I sit down to write; when I sit staring at the flipchart paper on which I’ve sketched a story, or the pieces of paper on which I’ve sketched characters. How I can stare at them for ages before I make a connection with the characters. Usually the first characters I get are the ones in whose voices the story will be told.

First flowers coming through in Rookery Park

First flowers coming through in Rookery Park

It’s exactly the same feeling I get in meditation when I connect with the energy of the group, or when I drop into the timeless zone of spirit. Once I get that feeling I know the words will flow, and very often they will flow in a way I hadn’t planned. He said I’m quite possibly connecting with the spirits whose story I’m telling. There’s resonance in this for me.

By the time everyone had arrived there were two new women. One who visited the Monday circle once, and an Asian woman invited by the black one who came last week. Interestingly, apart from Greg all eleven of us were women. He welcomed everyone and announced that Ann would be joining us later for a trance demonstration.

‘We’ll begin with a meditation to get us nice and relaxed.’ He said.

With closed eyes he instructed us to breathe deeply.

‘There’s a ball of light above your head,’ he said. ‘Bring the ball of light down through your body, lighting every cell. Ask your guides known and new to draw close.’

As he said this I felt a wave of cold spread from my toes up to my thighs. This despite the fact I was sitting as close as it’s possible to get to the radiator and was perfectly warm and toasty prior to that. In my head I silently asked my guides if they wouldn’t mind bringing a bit of heat with them. Not one of them responded, and I remained cold throughout the whole session. I sat with my jacket draped over my legs.

During the feedback when I told the group of my experience, Greg said most people first experience the presence of spirit as cold on their legs. I made a mental note.

About half the group had great images and messages from their guides, the other half just felt relaxed.

Our activity for the night was using story cubes to give readings. Story cubes are small dice shaped cubes with pictures etched into each face. There are nine of them in the pack, and they’re used to develop creative writing and story telling.

Greg demonstrated how to use them to give a reading. For speed he used only three of the cubes. It’s very similar to doing a three card reading. We then had to work in pairs to do readings for each other.

My three pictures were a book, a magnifying glass and a symbol that my partner initially thought were the wings of a mythical bird. She thought the meaning was that I should look into writing Harry Potter type books. The magnifying glass could also mean looking deeply within, self-examination. It all made sense. So too did the alternative interpretation when Greg pointed out that the wings were actually a fire.

One of the symbolism of fire is purification. In the morning I’d got yellow from my colour set of cards =  purify the body, and the frog from the animal set = purification. Purification of the body’s been a consistent message for weeks now. So much so that I’ve changed my diet, become vegetarian, and now working toward being vegan. I say working toward because I found myself buying a bag of Thornton’s Special Toffee the other day. And they were soooo delicious.

Anyway, back to the circle. I then did a reading for my partner. She had a bee, a sheep, and what looked like a jester with a small child on the end of one of his feet. I interpreted it as needing more sweetness in life (bees=honey) and not being afraid to go out on a limb with a project (don’t be a sheep), that she’d probably be getting a gentle push to go out there (jester kicking child away). The project thing resonated with her.

I instantly saw a use for these cubes in international creative writing workshops, and ordered a set as soon as I got home. There’s a big assumption here that I’m going to be running such workshops. You read it here first.

Next we had Ann do a trance demonstration for us. I was sitting next to her, and although I had my eyes closed I felt a surge of energy as her guide arrived.

Now, I’m conscious here that in a few short weeks I’m saying things that were just a mystery to me not so long ago – surges of energy indeed.

Anyway, her guide’s message was very similar in nature to his others. He thanked us for being willing to work with spirit, encouraged us to meditate often and aim to live an honest and authentic life. He told us that we are spiritual being in a body, that we should care for it, but know that when we’ve learned all we need to in this incarnation, it will fall away. What’s important while we’re here is to take the lessons from every situation we encounter, good or bad. It’s all of our creation to learn the lessons we came for.

When she’d finished we had a discussion about the different levels of trance which range from very light trance where the medium is aware of what is being said, to the medium allowing his/her body to be totally taken over by spirit and as such is not at all aware of what is being said or done to them. In some cases they can be so deep in trance that if you stuck pins in them they wouldn’t feel it. Oak House once had such a practitioner, and there are many tales told about him.

The issue of whether ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ spirits could take over the body in such a state came up. Again there were two schools of thought, those that think yes and those that think no. Greg explained that like attract like, if you remain positive you will only attract positive spirits. I added my two pennies worth by saying I believe that the best form of protection is working in the energy of love. Nothing negative can permeate it.

Our final exercise was to get messages for someone in the room. As I focused on the person I was tying to get a message for I got a tingling in my ear, then saw green fields, and the words ‘make your decision from the heart’ popped into my head. Again there was a high level of accuracy during the feedback session.

When I checked with the person that  I’d got the message for if she’d got issues with her ears she nodded vigorously, even touched the same side of her ear as my tingling one. She didn’t know what I meant by ‘make a decision from the heart’ and decided she needed to think about the green fields some more as someone else had also seen that for her.

Interestingly, no one got any messages for me. Only two of us didn’t get messages while some got multiples.

In all honesty things have been moving so quickly it was a relief to have nothing extra to go home with tonight.


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Session 15 – Card readings

February 25th 2013 (Monday)

Tim’s still on holiday, and a few others were missing, so there were only six of us including Mary. After the opening prayer we went straight into a meditation in which Mary suggested we ask our guides for a philosophy, some words of wisdom. This could be either for an individual or for the whole group. I’d had a busy weekend and was very tired. I had to fight to stay awake (even though it was only mid afternoon). The only things I got was ‘always trust your heart, it knows the way,’ and after a few more minutes I had a vision of me being pulled up the stairs of a spiral staircase in a big old building. I couldn’t see who was doing the pulling.

During the feedback it became clear that most of us had been given philosophies relating to the heart.

Mary asked if we knew why we ‘opened up’ with prayer. Generally speaking it’s a signal to spirit that we’re reporting for work, and it’s important to signal that we are willing to work only in the light. We talked about whether negative ‘entities’ (bad spirit) could attach themselves to us or take us over. There were two schools of thought. One was yes, and we have to make sure we protected ourselves at all times but particularly when we ‘opened up’. The second was no, if we stay in the light no ‘entities’ can invade us because such entities are a manifestation of our own fears. I’m going with the second.

We then had a lengthy discussion following on from last week about the difference between working psychically and working spiritually. Mary wanted to make sure we were all clear about the different states and their meanings. Essentially when working spiritually you will get messages that you couldn’t possibly have worked out for yourself. Usually evidence is given from spirit world of life after death. Psychically is essentially working with the auric field, our own knowledge and our intuition.

We then did readings for each other using tiny angel cards with one word on them. Most of them also have a small picture. I picked beauty and my partner picked play. Alongside the word was a little scene of children playing by the beach, one of them with fairy wings.

I was able to give a reading that made a lot of sense to the person. Everything except the very last thing made sense, and we agreed the thing that didn’t would in time. What surprised me was how confident I felt with what I was saying. Checking that it made sense but not doubting what I was saying, even though there were times when I wondered where the words came from.

When she did my reading she told me of a blue bird with outstretched wings signifying freedom and communication. As there was also a tinge of green on the bird she felt this meant that my communication (words) would bring healing to others. I could do with more romance. (Who couldn’t?)

Mary then asked us to think about whether we felt we’d given/received a psychic or spiritual reading. I felt I’d given a psychic reading but had received a spiritual one. My partner, who connects very easily with her guides, agreed.

Any ideas what being pulled up the stairs could mean?


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Session 14 – Science Fiction

February 21st 2013 (Thursday)

On arrival we all had to put an item on a covered tray in preparation for the psychomery exercise later.

There were eleven of us including Greg, the facilitator. A new man and a new black woman came. I only point the black lady because we are so rare in these circles, and because she’s significant later.

DSC_1015We began with a short opening meditation to ask our guides to gather close and help with the messages and healing. I was verging on exhaustion after a very hectic day, and had even contemplated not coming. But as it was me that requested we had a go at psychometry I felt obliged to put in an appearance. I was so tired I remember little of this meditation, other than the fact I nearly fell asleep. I was therefore very grateful that the next exercise was a practical one, the psychometry.

We all took something from under the cloth that wasn’t ours. I picked a set of two house keys. I didn’t look at them but held them in my hands as instructed and closed my eyes to try and get something visual, auditory, kinaesthetic, cognitive, olfactory or gustatory.

First thing I got was a tingling on the left side of my forehead near the hair line, and a thought that the person had an issue with hair loss. Then I felt a sensation in my right eye and an accompanying thought, ‘Try and see things from the other person’s point of view. You don’t always have to be right.’

The next place I felt a sensation was in my stomach. There was no accompanying thought, but there was when I felt the intense healing energy in my hands. The owner of these keys was either a healer or should be a healer.

When I opened my eyes and looked at the keys I saw that one had a purple tag and the other an orange one. I had the thought that whoever owned the keys was having an internal tussle between spirit and expressing themselves in the physical world in some way, maybe sexually.

When we came to feedback time everyone got something. The first person to go was the new black lady, who incidentally had the same name as one of my sisters. It’s quite an unusual one. She got the names Wendy and Laura, saw a cat, a fireplace and got the word grandmother. We weren’t disclosing what our object was at this stage, just testing to see what people got, but I knew instinctively that she had my ring. Just the mention of grandmother. The cat was probably to do with working with animals. Although I couldn’t make sense of the other things, I was convinced.

When it got to me I described what I’d got and looked around to see if anyone was inadvertently giving away that it was theirs. But no. The dim light and the deadpan faces gave nothing away.

When we came to revelation time I had to wait till the end to confirm my initial conviction (because Greg went the other way round so the first became the last). There was a high degree of accuracy among the group who had been working with a range of small items ranging from a guitar plectrum, to watches, photos, jewellery and of course keys.

The person who claimed the keys turned out to be a Reiki master who wanted to lose weight from around his stomach and said maybe the left side of the forehead was about listening to his spirit guide. He said the right eye might be symbolic also, and finally that the tussle may be between him and his wife, as she doesn’t believe in any of the psychic/spiritual stuff, or the healing.

I was the last, but it was worth the wait because the new lady with my sister’s name did, indeed, have my ring. By then I’d worked out that the fireplace could mean the fact that I write with my back against a radiator, a constant source of heat in the winter. (Not sure how good it is for my back, but it helps to keep the blood and words flowing.) I still couldn’t make sense of the names but I’m pretty certain that will become clear at some point. I got a sense that my grandmother is really trying to make herself known to me.

There was a buzz of achievement in the room as we went into the final exercise of the evening, more connections with our guides who would take us on a journey to meet other guides in the spirit world, the others who are also helping us.

‘You’re in a meadow,’ Greg said, and I was instantly there. A lush meadow with primroses, buttercups, worms, butterflies and some purple flowers I don’t know the name of.

‘There is a door in the meadow,’ Greg continued, and I saw gradually a green door so translucent it almost blended in with the green of the meadow. The way I could detect it easily was by it bright gold handle. In front of the door popped an image of a science lab, and on the black board to the right were rows of writing.

Rainbow on Miami Beach, Barbados

Rainbow on Miami Beach, Barbados

‘Open the door,’ Greg instructed us. As I turned the gold handle, which was smooth and solid, it opened onto Miami Beach, my favourite beach in Barbados. I was at the Enterprise Road end, and sat down on a rock.

‘Someone is walking towards you,’ said Greg and I saw about a hundred yards off a woman dressed in a bright dress with large red flowers, like hibiscus. When she came closer I noticed that her skin was the colour of copper and she had about six big long plaits, what my mother used to call ‘yam plaits’.

I don’t remember the rest of Greg’s instructions because once I’d begun to engage with this woman she took over and I followed her instructions. I asked if she was taking

me up to meet the other guides.

‘No,’ she said, ‘we’re going in the sea.’

‘But I’m not a strong swimmer,’ I protested, ‘and especially on this side of the sea. I’s so rough.

‘Come with me, you’ll be alright,’ she was very directive, and I followed.

Once in the water I opened my arms and allowed myself to be carried by the waves, not caring how far out I went because she was with me. She told me that in the water I could be free, and we floated around doing gambols and laughing and having a grand old time.

Then she said, ‘We need to go down now?’

I instantly became fearful again. It was one thing floating on the top – but to dive down was more than I was ready for.

‘I’ll show you how,’ she said raising her arms above her head and clasping her hands at the top like an arrow. I followed suit. She told me to take a big breath and hold it. I did. She twisted her body in the middle, bent in half and took her hands into the water to guide her down. I watched and followed. We were diving down, down, down; past lost of fish and other creatures which were blurred because we were going so fast.

‘You can let your breath out now,’ she said, ‘after a while you’ll see that you can breath down here, you don’t need to hold your breath.’

I breathed out, and she was right.

‘What are we going for?’ I asked.

‘You’ll see when we get there.’

But as we continued to travel down to the sea bed I heard Greg calling us back into the room. It’s the first time since I’ve been doing these sessions that I’ve wanted to stay in a meditation. I wanted to see what we were going to find.

Again the feedback was incredibly varied, with people having travelled to magical lands, Victorian streets, Native American lands, houses down the road, or, as in the other black lady’s case to a tropical forest, where she got into a crystal clear pool and felt very free.

I gathered from the feedback that the parts of the meditation I didn’t hear were to do with the person you met taking you to meet others. Maybe that’s what mine was doing; maybe they were all on the sea-bed.

When I did the initial part of my feedback Greg suggested that the sea represented freedom from any constraints I’d put on myself, and another member suggested that I should open up more and not be so scared all the time. I wasn’t aware that’s how I was coming across. We were just about to move on to the next person when I remembered the lab and the blackboard. I mentioned that the writing on the board was inconsistent with scientific writing which is largely numbers and symbols. This writing was uniformed, more like in a novel. In answer to someone’s  question I said I have a background in science but that I now write fiction. And I got it at the same time as most of the others in the group. The image was telling me to write science fiction. But what would I write as science fiction?

We closed and I was on a proper high. I’m convinced now that the messages are not random. My grandmother wants to make herself available to me, and she/they are guiding me to what to write. First the ‘writing for children’ then the ‘butterflies’ now this.

When we finished I had a brief chat to the other black lady and asked if she’d noticed that we both achieved freedom in the water. I wonder if she will come again.

When I spoke to my friend about the meditation she said there could be a slavery link, that many would-be slaves jumped overboard rather than become slaves.

Am I to write slavery as science fiction? That would be interesting.

Do you have another take on it? And what about that lady having the same name as my sister? (see post Zoe and Me at Home).


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Session 13 The difference between working psychically and working spiritually

February 18th 2013 (Monday)

I went into today’s session sky high as I’d just had a most amazing private reading from Mike, a visiting medium from Wales. I took the opportunity to have a full reading after attending one of his psychic suppers in December.

He was also invited to lead our circle, and after an initial meditation talked to us about the difference between working psychically and working spiritually.

Our meditation was meant to help us relax and he asked us to concentrate on something we found beautiful.I went to my favourit

Miami Beach (Also known as Enterprise Beach) Barbados

Miami Beach (Also known as Enterprise Beach) Barbados

e beach (Miami Beach) in Barbados and began walking the length of it, listening to and watching the waves. As I neared the end of the beach a huge sand coloured man came toward me. He was about twice my height, almost as broad and towered above me. As I looked up at him he scooped my up, swung me round and hoisted me onto his shoulder. I had a very different view of the beach from up there.

Then walking through a cane field in Jamaica with and older woman. She was fast, very determined and a large black dog ran at her heels. She carried something in her right hand, a machete or stick. We came through the fields to a large clearing and she just stood and looked around with both hands on her hips. I looked on with her. Then I remembered I was supposed to be relaxing and returned to the beach (minus sand-man). Not long after Mike brought us back.

I thought perhaps the woman was my grandmother, the one Mike had told me about earlier in the reading. He said she was a very strong woman and her strength was coming through me, but I couldn’t make sense of who the man on the beach was.

Mike then asked us to work in pairs psychically. Essentially we were to use only what we could make out about our partner using our senses, not using messages from spirit. He explained that everyone has psychic abilities but some have developed it and use it more than others. We all get a vibe from a person, place or thing. That ‘vibe’ is one or more of our senses tuning in to the energy of the person place or thing.

Most of us can tell if a person is sad or happy; if they’re trying to hide something, if they’re putting a brave face on something. This is psychic ability. Most of us in the circle, once we understood what was required, achieved some degree of accuracy with our partners, some were very accurate. The person and worked with was very accurate about me and me about her, others less so. One member of the group went beyond the psychic and gave many messages from spirit to Mike and to a lesser extent Mary.

I queried why she hadn’t worked psychically. Mike said sometimes spirit has urgency and will connect very quickly, especially if we are very attuned.

There then followed a long discussion about the rules and regulations of the National Spiritualist Union (NSU) and whether its acceptable to deliver messages psychically from the platform or whether it must always and only be spiritually.

It’s not my intention to become a platform medium and give readings in churches, so much of this probably won’t apply to me. I believe my connection with spirit is to do with my writing. Interesting, given the name of the blog, that I’ve written so little about my writing.

The reason is that I’ve been so involved with the psychic development that I haven’t been writing as much as I should. My characters are feeling very neglected. My two thousand words a day have been very intermittent.

One of the cards in my reading yesterday was ‘ask for what you want.’ I guess I’m going to have to ask spirit to re-connect me in a more meaningful way with writing the books.

Maybe I’ll give a running commentary on how well I’ve done with my writing from one session to the next. I need to be held accountable. Anyone prepared to do that for me?

Also, anyone fancy giving an opinion on the sand-man I’d be happy to hear it.


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Session 12 – Past life regression

February 14th 2013 (Thursday)

Despite it being Valentine’s Day there were ten of us, including Greg, at circle tonight. Were we all so keen, or were we the sad gits without Valentines to take us out and pamper us? Three men and seven women, and it weren’t just the older people either. The candle and crystal floor display from Monday was still in place, only the paper had been replaced by chakra coloured crystals.
PICT2168After our opening meditation, there was a request to do a past life regression meditation. I’ve had a couple of past life readings but never tried to do the regression myself. One of the readings was actually called a soul reading but it amounted to the same thing. I was told then that I’ve had several lives as teachers, either spiritual or academic. At least one as a fortune-telling gypsy living on the borders of France and Spain, (hence the possibility of me choosing a Spanish name this time round, and my first visit to Spain feeling like a home-coming), and one as a high priestess in Egypt. I also, allegedly, had a life as an academic Chinese male teacher.

As we went into the meditation and Greg took us back ten years, then twenty, then to childhood (for all the young ones who haven’t reached thirty yet), I wondered whether this prior knowledge would help or hinder my own attempts at regression.

I was able to do childhood well, but by the time I was back in the womb I wasn’t feeling the warmth and safety Greg was describing. I felt decidedly tense in the womb, not a pleasant place to be at all. As Greg encouraged us to go to the ending of our previous life I’d disconnected from the process, influenced unfortunately by thoughts of gypsies and Egypt.

Greg’s instructions at the beginning had been, ‘If at anytime you feel uncomfortable with the process open your eyes.’ And it was at this point that I did. Even though I closed them again and tried to continue, the moment had been lost.

About half the group were able to complete the meditation and reported seeing a previous self. They were also able to describe things that were happening around them at the time. Time zones included Victorian, Roman, prehistoric, and one person remembers being an ape.

When it was time for my feedback I asked if my past life readings could have influenced my meditation. Greg at first thought I meant previous attempts at past life regression, but when I explained that I meant readings he was a little surprised. He doesn’t think it’s possible to do a past life reading because only you can go back and find out who you were.

I was puzzled, because as I understand it, in the spirit world there is no past, present or future. Therefore when a medium connect to spirit to do a reading he or she has access to all that was, is, and will be. That’s why a good medium can be so accurate. What do you think? Can a well connected medium tell you about your previous lives?

Following a long discussion we concluded with a final exercise similar to the one we did on Monday where we had to think of a person in the room we wanted to receive a message for. Again I asked for a message for the person opposite me (it’s just easier to keep them in view and hold a straight line to their energy). I made a decision to trust whatever came and to say it as I got it and not try to water it down or alter it in any way.

After a few minutes I heard the song ‘white lines (don’t do it)’ by Grandmaster Melle Mel, and for a moment felt tears prick the backs of my eyes. Then a clear thought came that although the white lines had caused a great deal of sadness it was coming to an end.

The person who the message was for didn’t know the song and couldn’t make sense of the white lines. Greg thought it could refer to cocaine as that’s what the song is about, but it still didn’t make sense to the recipient. She did however say there was some sadness in her life that she hoped would be coming to an end soon.

I felt proud of myself, not necessarily for the content of the message, but because I’d had the courage to deliver it as I got it.

So, in case you’ve forgotten the question I asked earlier. Do you think it’s possible for someone else to give a past life reading or can it only be the person concerned who can be regressed? Please keep your comments coming I’m very grateful and I’m learning loads.


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Do spirits speak to us through electrical equipment?

Thursday 14th February 2013

During my morning meditation yesterday I heard a crackling noise coming from my laptop. When it got to the point when I couldn’t ignore it any longer I went to investigate. The noise was coming from where the speakers were plugged in. I unplugged the connection and went back to meditating. I later realised that nothing was connected to the electrical supply.

I ran this past my friend who said, ‘maybe they (spirit) want you to amplify what you’re saying. Amplify your message.’

This morning I did my colour cards and got

Mauve = enjoy clear hearing.

Amber = awaken your creativity

Cherry = live and extraordinary life

My animal cards were

Lynx = discernment – look beyond immediate appearances

Koala = empathy – speak less and listen more

Eagle = spirit – trust in your higher self

During meditation I asked for help with awakening my creativity, as I’ve been struggling with writing since Monday. I had a clear message that the way to tell the story I’ve been struggling with is through letters.

Do you think the electrical equipment is about speaking or listening? Or can it in some way be both?

Oh and I forgot to mention that the hummingbird fell out twice. It means joy and the message is ‘lighten up.’

Any thoughts?


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Session 11 – Trance, trance and more guides

February 11th 2013 (Monday)

I’ll cut to the chase. No preamble about Tim’s lateness or my mental note to drive next week.

Candles, crystals and charaks

Candles, crystals and chakras

Zoe was back, and she facilitated the circle. She’d laid out a large purple cloth on which were candles, crystals and seven pieces of paper representing the chakras. After the opening prayer she explained that we would be contacting our guides though meditation and later doing some work with photographs.

The instruction was to meditate for fifteen minutes with the intention of contacting our guides. She explained for Tim’s sake how to open up the chakras, and, to the sound of quiet music we invited our guides to draw near.

I got nothing. No one even came close. No little old lady, no Native American, no ancient African warrior. Not a bean, nil, zero, zilch. Other people got stuff. Either discovered new guides or reconnected with their established ones. Even Tim got someone who he thought could be a guide.

In the following meditation she asked us to think about someone in the group we would like to get a message for, and also to be aware that our guides often speak to us through an intermediary. At that instant my phone which I’d put on silent began to vibrate. I made a mental note to check who it was when the meditation finished. She also asked us to open our eyes when we got something.

I set the intention to get a message for Sam who was sitting opposite me. Well, I must have been there for ten whole minutes getting absolutely nothing, when my mind began drifting to the magenta card I’d got earlier, and I was reflecting on how often I pull it, or it fell out the pack at me. Then the name Petra popped into my head and I focused on it for a while, happy that at least that something had come that had nothing to do with me, as I don’t know a Petra. I went back to focusing on the magenta card and had a vague sense of something to do sleeplessness, but no more guidance than that.

I was still waiting for something profound to happen when Zoe asked me to open my eyes, and I realised that everyone else had already opened theirs. I felt like the dunce in the class. When it came to feedback time she skipped over me as we went round the circle. People got amazing messages for each other. Incidentally no-one got a message for me. She came back to me last.

‘Well, I didn’t really get much.’ I hesitated.

‘I guessed as much as you didn’t open your eyes. That’s why I left you till last,’ she admitted, deepening my sense of uselessness.

‘Did you get anything at all?’

‘I got the name Petra.’ I said, hoping someone would leap up and say, ‘I can take that,’ and tell some fantastic story associated with the name. But everyone just looked at me blankly.

‘I also kept getting a lot of magenta,’ I said, and scanned the group for a take up. Again nothing. I didn’t add that what I was actually seeing wasn’t diffused magenta like some others have described, but specifically the card from the pack which also has the words ‘connect to you deepest inner knowing’ written on it.

I was losing confidence rapidly by now and muttered something about lack of sleep’. Zoe was about to move on when from out of nowhere I turned to Sam and said, ‘Have you been having difficulty sleeping?’

BINGO!

‘I have terrible trouble sleeping,’ he said. ‘Either I can’t get to sleep or I wake up in the early hours of the morning and can’t go back to sleep.’

‘What do you do when that happens?’ I asked, like I was some expert on insomnia.

‘Make a drink of coffee,’ he answered to horrified gasps, ‘or I read a book or watch a bit of tele.’

Once we got past the general advice from everyone about how bad coffee is if you want to sleep, I heard myself telling him that what spirit wants him to do is meditate. That the reason he can’t sleep is because he needs to go and connect with his inner guidance, his inner knowing.’

‘I’m terrible at meditating,’ he protested.

‘How about if you re-phrase that and say ‘I’m improving my meditating skills every day?’ I asked, recognising that he was perpetuating an unhelpful view of himself and therefore keeping himself there.

‘But I can’t do anymore than about five minutes when I’m on my own,’ he insisgted.

‘Well, that’s a start. If the next time you do six minutes you have improved. Congratulate yourself and affirm that you’re improving all the time.’

‘See, you did get something after all.’ Mary said, and I relaxed a little.

As Zoe began to explain about how to read from photographs I sat back and marvelled at the way spirit works. I had all but convinced myself that what I was picking up was useless bits of information and when it hadn’t made sense I was prepared to discard it. I guess that’s how some mediums must feel when they ask a sitter if something makes sense and they say ‘no’.

The photo reading exercise was of a real live couple. We were initially given no more than that. The photo was passed around and we were asked to ‘tune in’ and using all our senses try to pick up anything we could from the picture about the two people.

Some people picked up that the man was ill, which Mary confirmed. Others elaborated on the extent of his illness and made suggestions on how long he had to live, still others talked about the lack of closeness between the two, some talked about their characters and the way if affects their relationship. Tim is a natural at this, and seems to have the confidence to say what he’s picking up, usually prefixed with ‘I’m new to all this…’

After about six people had had a go, Mary (who was acting as a participant as Zoe was running the circle) asked us to think about the future for the woman.

I was last but one to get the photo. As soon as I held it I got a strong pulsing pain in the front of my head. My throat became very tight and tickly and I had to reach for a glass of water to soothe the coughs that were bubbling up.

‘Does this woman suffer from headaches?’ I asked.

‘She used to suffer from terrible migraines.’ Mary answered, ‘but not any more.’

I knew intuitively that the pain in my head wasn’t associated with the past. It was definitely located in the future as that’s what Mary had asked us to think about.

‘I think when the man dies her migraines will return, but they won’t be as prolonged as previously. She will get them under control reasonably quickly, but they will be very intense for a while.’

My attention moved to my throat, and I knew that there was creativity she’s been suppressing that will find an outlet when the man dies. I already knew she was a painter from information that came out earlier, but the word writer came into my head. I wanted to say she will write, but I wondered weather I was thinking that because I’m a writer, so I asked instead, ‘Is there something she wants to do creatively that she’s not doing now?’

‘Well, she wants to try her hand at singing,’ Mary said.

‘That’s it,’ I said eagerly, relieved that I’d got something else right.

‘But what she really wants to do is to write,’ she added.

I couldn’t believe it. Why didn’t I go with what I got? Why do I keep censoring it? I shared my original thought and asked the question out loud.

‘Why do I censor?’

‘Because you don’t trust it yet,’ Zoe suggested, ‘at the moment you still think its you, and nobody wants to make a fool of themselves. But that’s what the circle is here for. To help you build your confidence. It will come with practice.’

We closed with another trance demonstration from Zoe. Again the altered breathing, the turkey neck movements and the same male voice as last time, slow, measured, precise. He thanked us again for agreeing to help in this way and warned us about the dangers of going off too quickly before our skills are properly developed. He said there is much healing that we can do but that humility and patience are vital qualities to enable us to serve safely.

And the person who had called me during the meditation was… my husband.