Writing Creatively With Spirit

A journey of psychic discovery

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Countdown to Cameroon – 30 days to go

Now that I’ve got Never on Sunday to publication stage I can begin to focus on the preparation for Cameroon. Only 30 days to go and still a lot to do.

I still have to apply for my visa, which I can’t do till I receive some papers from the project. Despite two reminders I haven’t received anything yet. I’m working on the principle that they were leaving me alone to focus on completing the book. Hope the stuff comes tomorrow though. I’d like to start that process asap.

I’m going to arrange to get my yellow fever vaccine within the next few days and begin shopping for things I need to take.

A friend of mine who’s going to work in Liberia said she got a great mosquito net from Sports Direct for £24.99. I’m going to check them out tomorrow.  Please let me know if you know where I can get a better deal.


Never on Sunday – would you read it?

Never on Sunday by Penny Dixon

Never on Sunday by Penny Dixon

It’s been a while since I wrote a blog. This is because I’ve been busy editing and working on completing my latest book Never on Sunday. It’s already created a bit of controversy as the pastor who first gave me the idea to write it didn’t want to be associated with it. He said that although he personally thought it was brilliant that his church board wouldn’t approve. In addition,  the first person I approached to proof read it for me said she had to pray about it. She came back and said, based on the description of the book, she was unable to read it.

I’ve attached the book cover (Thanks to Pam Neaves of Mint Creative Solutions) and the description of the book. (See below) I would love to know what you think. Would you read such a book? Would you at least be curious to look at it?

It’s a difficult job being the head of a church in these times.  Pastor Brown’s focus on meeting the deadline for his new book distracts him from what’s going on in his congregation. Yet beneath the songs of praise run deep sexual passions that struggle to find expression in ways that are acceptable to the church.

As members of his congregation attempt to reconcile their religious beliefs with their sexual urges they grapple with issues such as infidelity, erectile dysfunction, pre-marital sex, abuse within marriage, and more.

His members face a number of challenges which Pastor Brown tries to guide them through; but who will guide him when the bomb lands in his own house?

These stories are touching in their ability to connect with what is real. They illustrate of the powerful redemptive nature of forgiveness, and confirm that true love is the only way to heal. 

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The Way of the Shaman – Journey to find my life purpose

Saturday 3rd August 2013

Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some

Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some

I’d just finished reading Malidoma Patrice Some’s book Of Water and the Spirit and was so envious that he knew what his life purpose was so early in life that I decided to do a journey to try and find mine. I’ve been asking since January to be helped to remember what it is.

I set the intention three times – ‘my intention is to journey to the lower world to meet my animal guides and to ask them to show me my life purpose.’

I felt very apprehensive as I walked to my usual axis mundi, and the journey down the roots of the tree was slow and laborious.

Both the eagle and the jaguar were waiting for me. They bowed to me as before and I told them why I’d come. I began to gibber away about what I’d been told before about being a high priestess in Egypt, about being a writer, a healer and a shaman. I rattled on for ages while they patiently listened and didn’t interrupt.

‘So can you tell me,’ I ended.

‘You said you wanted to be shown,’ jaguar reminded me.

They both looked kindly at me, before eagle flew off.

‘Where’s she going?’ I asked jaguar.

‘To keep watch,’ he replied and indicated to me to follow him.

I was expecting something akin to what I’d been reading in Malidoma’s book – some kind of initiation. We walked through a clearing, through a forest and past the mouth of a cave. All these things are in Of Water and the Spirit.

Each time I thought the jaguar was going to show me something, but he just kept on walking till we came to another much bigger clearing.

It took me a while to work out that we was standing in the middle of a massive heart. Gradually the outside of the heart filled with men of all different shapes, sizes and ages. Although of different races they were predominantly black.

‘You are to heal men my opening your heart to them,’ the jaguar said.

I wanted to scream ‘NO! NOT THAT! THAT’S TOO PAINFUL!’ I looked around at all the men and began to cry. I wasn’t just crying in the journey, I was also crying into my blindfold. I felt as if my own heart was breaking.

All I could think of was that it would mean no happiness for me – men constantly coming and going in my life. The jaguar tried to reassure me that all would be fine.

‘But what about the women?’ I asked, ‘Don’t the women need healing too?’

‘When the men are healed, the women will be healed too,’ he carried on in his soothing way. ‘The women are strong but they look to the men for leadership, they look to the men for love. The men need to heal. It’s why you came.’

All I kept thinking was, ‘what about my own happiness,’ while the jaguar went on about the importance of the men healing.

Then all the men disappeared and were replaced by prepubescent boys. My heart went out to them and I sobbed (I must find a less clichéd word) literally and figuratively. Then they were replaced by the men, then the boys. They kept interchanging.

‘How am I going to do this?’ I asked the jaguar.

‘That’s for another journey;’ he answered softly, ‘this one was about your purpose.’

‘Where’s the eagle?’ I enquired.

‘She’s gone to check out the way,’ he said before the call-back tempo made me realise how quickly 30 minutes had passed.

I was still crying when I returned, with a heaviness that made it difficult to move. It wasn’t really what I’d wanted to hear or to see. It felt (feels) like too much at too big a personal cost.

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Countdown to Cameroon – Drowning in paperwork

After the initial rush of activity things slowed right down while I collected, distributed and received many pieces of paper. These included copies of my police check and passport, a contact form, my CV, my flight details and a letter of intent. I’ve filled in a questionnaire about why I want to go and what I have to offer and sent it to the project coordinator in Cameroon.

I’m waiting for a few more bits of paper to begin applying for my visa, which I’ve been advised to do within the next ten days. I also need to book my yellow fever vaccine. I think I’ll do that within the next ten days as well.

On Sunday I’m going to spend some time with a friend to learn how to make effective video blogs. I may even post some of my practice ones here.

Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some

Of Water and the Spirit by Malidoma Patrice Some

In the lull I read an amazing book by Malidoma Patrice Some, Of Water and the Spirit. It’s given me fantastic insight into indigenous African spiritual practices. It’s also a brilliant history book. Although he’s not Cameroonian I learned a lot from him about pre and post colonial Africa through the eyes of someone who straddled both worlds.

Of Water and the Spirit spurred me on to complete my own book Never on Sunday which is currently at the publication process.

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Session 41 – Soul retrieval and the chamber of treasures

Thursday 1st August 2013

We were five tonight, three women (including a new one) and two men including Greg.

We began with a relaxation meditation – which I really needed. It began with the usual deep breaths. ‘See any part of our body that’s in need of healing surrounded by the colour grey,’ Greg instructed us.

I focused on my broken finger (or should I say the finger that was broken ). Although I think the fracture has mended there is still some deep tissue bruising which is painful to touch, and the skin on that finger continues to peel, very slowly. I’m literally shedding old skin.

We then had to move white light through our bodies changing the grey to white, healing and rejuvenating any part of us that needed it.

Just before the meditation ended (and I’ve wondered about including this) I saw a couple of men pushing an old van. It was hot and they were naked from the waist down. They seemed unaware that their genitals were swinging for all to see. I didn’t mention this in the feedback. On reflection I’m wondering why. My own embarrassment? Not wanting to embarrass others? Maybe a bit of both?

Next we did a shamanic journey to retrieve parts of our soul and also to visit the chamber of treasures. The shamanic journeys we do here are different to the ones we did on the course a few weeks ago. These are guided, whereas the way I was taught is that you do your own journeying without any guidance from anyone.

‘Allow your luminous body to go into the earth, past the stones, tree roots, loose debris until you come to a river. Bathe in the river to remove anything that shouldn’t be taken into the lower world. Flow with the river till you come to a lake. Swim to the shore and find a power animal waiting there for you.’ Greg’s voice was soft but firm.

As I’ve been practicing on my own I’ve learned to go at my own pace and I’m beginning to find the guided ones a little too fast for me, so I don’t always get from one place to the other in time.

I travelled from my usual axis mundi and the jaguar came to meet me. He came with me to the room Greg directed us to and I saw a three-year-old version of me sitting in a corner with her knees pulled up to her chest looking a little lost and frightened.

I brought her into my heart as directed, but before I was fully integrated with her we were on the way to the chamber of treasures.

‘You will meet someone there who will give you something,’ Greg said.

I wasn’t given anything as I was still occupied with my younger self.

We retraced our steps and returned. Greg suggested that the little girl probably represented an event that happened when I was that age that I’ve never fully integrated and that this afforded the opportunity to do that.

The final meditation was one to open the 3rd eye.

We focused our energy initially on our third eye before allowing the energy to fill our heads. We then built a bridge between our third eye and the pineal gland.

My bridge was blue with sparks flying off it before it changed to turquoise.

‘See a screen ahead or you, like a movie screen,’ Greg began. ‘Look at it and project something on it from your 3rd eye.’

The Magician tarot card

The Magician tarot card

I saw a torch and picked it up. As I shone it at the screen it made lots of sideways 8 (Greg said the infinity sign) and then circles, then back to the sideways 8.

I’ve been seeing the number 8 a lot over the past month or so. I know one of the meanings is abundance and power, and another is, as Greg pointed out is infinity. I also remembered that the infinity sign features prominently on the Magician tarot card. (Ryder Waite version)

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Session 40 – I must be barking mad

Thursday 25th July 2013

We were seven tonight, two men and five women.

The bear in the bark

The bear in the bark

At the start of the day I pulled the rainbow card from my colour card pack, the second time in as many days. The message is ‘connect with spirit in nature.’ I decided to act on it and went for a walk in the park. I found a friendly looking sycamore tree and hugged it. As I did a piece of bark fell off and hit me on my head. Thinking it might be significant I picked it up and took it to circle with me. Greg said he would be happy to do a reading from it for me.

At the end of our meditations he was true to his word, but more than that he asked everyone else to say what they saw in the bark. As you can see from the picture one side was rough and the other smooth.

Greg saw a bear, and as soon as he mentioned it I could see it too (amazing that I’d looked at it all day and not been able to see the bear). Bear = boundaries. ‘It’s only when you can say a clear ‘no’ that you can say a clear ‘yes.’

It made sense because there’s an issue I’ve been struggling with for nearly six months involving boundaries.

Smooth bear in the bark

Smooth bear in the bark

Different members of the group saw the Hindu God Shiva = destroyer of the ego, the ‘evil eye’, and a Tibetan monk. One person thought it was trying to tell me that the rough and jagged past is behind me and a smoother future lay ahead with lots of spiritual growth (represented by the spiralling markings)

I’ve decided to add it to my altar, along with the stone from the shamanic weekend.